Well today is another notch in the sobriety for the Pepper.
36 yrs today of no drugs. (Even though it seems like I am on them at times)

I usually go for a day long hunt, go out digging some dirt, reflect a tad about the journey pre/post of this day.
Though it will be a city trip today picking up the Mrs from the train. Been away for 10 days, and it's been a tad busy taking on her tasks as well. Heck just feeding the pets 3 times a day is time consuming.
She sent me a picture this morning from the train of the sun kissing the mountains.
I replied "Nice field!"

That got her to reply " I was taking about the mountains"
My response "What mountains"
I sure know what to look for in a picture.
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So the detecting is on the mind, hard to find places at this time of the year. Fields are planted, anything in grass is too long right now. The ticks and mosquitoes are full on, just waiting to suck on the human dinner.
Though I will find a site that hasn't been thought of, and go and dig in a day or two away, once the dust settles here.
The fact that I am going on this morning is just a reflection. Deciding to get sorted that day 36 yrs ago while watching fireworks. Doing the best drugs that were available, lines, bumps, smoking Skunk with the white coke-and not enjoying what was truly beautiful in front of my eyes exploding up in the sky.
I still remember asking myself why-the answer was-it was the drugs.
I have said it before when I stated to the crew " After tonight I quit"
The reply from the guys was "sex?"

No I stated "Drugs"
Well the



still rings in the ears today.
I had no problem closing the door of craving it, going out and finding the answers on how to get sorted.
No matter what I face in life today-I can reflect back-and say hell this is nothing as it's all free to me.
It's free in monetary value, and life's challenges, as if I didn't stop that day-I wouldn't be writing this today.
It's hard to really say what life was like for the Pepper back in those days.
I'm sure we've all walked by the user-or seen them on TV-the down and outs lining up for meal, or the bed shelter.
The unwashed troubled souls that look at the world through indifference in the their eyes.
Yes the Pepper walked in those shoes, not afraid to admit it to anyone.
We can't change what has passed, and we can only reflect, and gain knowledge, strength from the history.
I wear the sobriety on the chest like a medal hidden away, take it out on different special days. .
But seriously if someone is dealing with addiction, no matter how much one tries to sort them, if the time isn't right for them to get sorted, it's just wasted time.
That is a very hard pill to swallow for those that are looking in the window, but if that addicted person isn't truly ready-it just won't happen.
The struggles the families/friends go through trying, is well noted, and it is without great pain.
40 yrs ago my family had a lottery on the Pepper-imagine that-a frigging lottery!
My brother that knew me the best, bought a verbal "6 months" for the Pepper.
Then I was still at my best really, I hadn't even got close to the depths of my living hell.
It's all good today, just slowly wearing out, living it out the best I can.
What was life back then? When I saw this one it made me smile.
There's a lot of truth to this meme
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