New Contest...........TNs Best Liar!!!

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

In 1971 while I was attending a secret archeological dig about nine hundred miles northeast of Lima, Peru, in a region of South America that is known as the jungles of the Amozonas, I discovered an underground temple dating back nearly a thousand years. This discovery was not by mistake, having been afforded the ability to read ancient dialogs of most every form, I was able to uncover this temple’s exact whereabouts after examining several ancient Inca writings three years prior. What was most significant about this particular temple was that it was put into place to hide the ancient world’s most cherished treasure, one item made of solid gold that was known and praised throughout the entire ancient globe. The item was said to behold the true identity and the exact shape of an item which was to become pure evil with the passing of time. Though I have never before posted a picture of it anywhere, I have recently decided to post a picture here so my fellow treasure hunters might find inspiration from my obvious success. The item was hidden inside a small statue, which once the hairpiece was removed the item was finally found just where it had been placed nearly 1000 years ago. Today this find is regarded to be among the highest of all that is priceless. And just like the ancients predicted during its hiding, its image and symbol today is in fact regarded by many to be the root to all that is evil.
 

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Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Hey TreasureJack, that's the Golden Pulltab. I win that award almost every month at the local metal detector club meetings. It's given to the guy/gal who finds the most tabs. You gotta dig the junk to avoid the skunk, so I'm not ashamed to admit it. LOL

Great story.
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Glad you liked the yarn, believe me....there's a whole lot more where that came from! lol
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

treasurejack said:
Glad you liked the yarn, believe me....there's a whole lot more where that came from! lol

Bring 'em on. It's all good.
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

During the winter of 1979 I was in Cairo, Egypt, following up on some old leads I had uncovered in regards to two missing Egyptian treasures. One was said to be a jade and golden bust of a past emperor’s unknown brother, “Notall-dat-Uncommon.” The second item was to be an exact duplicate of Notall’s yet discovered tomb, which as the ancient hieroglyphics explained, was also hand crafted in this same jade and gold detail. Both items were said to have been hidden to prevent uncertainties within the throne, Notall himself having been dragged into the desert and never heard from again. According to the ancient documents these two treasures were said to have been hidden in the middle of the Es Sahara’el Gharbiya, or “Western Desert” for those of you who are not so familiar with the region. However, since I had already committed my expertise to other pursuits of equal fortune I did not return to the region to seek out these two priceless treasures until the spring of 1982.
During the spring and summer of 1982 much of my time was spent studying various satellite images of the region, or more specifically, that region of Egypt which encompassed the Es Sahara’el Gharbiya. These images, along with the many ancient hieroglyphics which told of the story, eventually lead me to an isolated oasis about 400 miles west-southwest, of Cairo. Traveling by camel and acting as my own guide this trip eventually took all of forty-nine days, perhaps a few days sooner if it had not been for the frequent sand storms and the constant interference I endured from the would-be bandits who were always threatening me with their hostile attacks. Because of these routine interruptions I did not arrive at the oasis until October 16th, 1982.
After I had arrived at the tiny oasis I began to take samples of the various sand levels, my knowledge of these matters leading me to recognize that any permanent structure buried below would cause the sand to change color and likewise be of a different tone then the rest of the sand in the immediate area. Twenty-six days later, and using only my bare hands, I had finally located and uncovered the small vessel I had been seeking. Below are the pictures of the vessel and of the two priceless lost treasures which finally stand as indisputable proof of Notall-dat-Uncommon’s actual existence.
 

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Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Notall-dat-Uncommon....lol rofl ;D ;D ;D ;D His stepbrother's name was TutTutMyButt. I knew the family.
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

TreasureTales said:
Notall-dat-Uncommon....lol rofl ;D ;D ;D ;D His stepbrother's name was TutTutMyButt. I knew the family.
:D :D :D What was the question? I have got to say hmmmm......It is a Big Toss up......
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

The question was: If a chicken and a half laid an egg and a half in one day and a half, does chocolate milk have bones?
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

cheese said:
The question was: If a chicken and a half laid an egg and a half in one day and a half, does chocolate milk have bones?
Most definately AND the half of an egg that got laid was .......
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Hey, Did I win yet?, ah... I guess not...
OK, one last attempt at a bribe.I am willing to part the these two fantastic items that I just found today.
( Items are shown Below)
index.php
index.php


Pesky TreasureTales, huh Leon??? HAH! I'm not pesky...I'm persistant. I don't need treasure, wealth, fame, notoriety...I need that darn digging tool! I have a use for it. I believe Mighty AP's Mighty Digging Tool will be instrumental in developing a cure for cancer. I'm about half way through the process of creating the cure but I need a way to deliver the dosage to the patient. The Mighty Digging Tool would be perfect for deliverying the suppository.
OK, persistant then... I may have used the wrong word there, but I'm still not too sure about the idea of letting one of "Mighty AP's Digging Tools" become a precision medical instrument. They might have to use it on me someday and I'm not too sure I'm ready for that one. I already have to goto the doctor tomarrow to get this strange black dot removed from my vision. ;D


*************************************************************************
Please don't take anything I have typed in black, ( in this thread ), seriously, and probably only half of what I have typed in the darkred...;D It's all in fun...
P.S.> There's been some great stories so far, and I look forward to reading more..
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Mighty AP and Gypsy....I've been reading these nonprofessional canards long enough. It's time for these amatuers to step aside, because the queen of the big prevarication has arrived........to collect the winnings.

queen2.jpg

I, Mona Lisa, (please hold your applause! ;) ) once told a cock-and-bull story so simple....yet so huge.....that the melee that ensued divided families, metal detecting clubs, and nations. I, singlehandedly, dethroned the self-proclaimed King of Hotdogs, Sherm....by telling one stunning devastating little fib.

Here it is:

It was last Bunday, which was quite rainy and Chili. I was hunting with a fellow Tnetter, a grumpy German man, called Sauerkraut and my faithful weinie dog, called Mustard. He's called Mustard....well...because....um......uh....nevermind.

I was swinging my DFX at the Heinz Ballpark when all of a sudden my DFX started playing "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener." I knew it was something good when I heard that. So I got down on my wienies (get it? Wee knees?) and dug a hole a foot deep and a foot long. I looked into the hole and found the fabulous bun bracelet inside. When I pulled the fabulous bun bracelet from the hole, the sky opened up and a ray of sunshine shone right on the spot I was standing. A choir of angels started singing. Then I said to myself....I said "Cheese, Mona Lisa!" (That's what I call myself.) "This is a fabulous find that I must share with all of my TreasureNet friends!"


http://forum.treasurenet.com/index.php/topic,56916.msg403337/topicseen.html#new


hotdogbuns.jpg

What followed this fish tale....was such deliberation and debate that created great shifts in allegencies, bribes, and out-right name calling. It was a untruth so big....that Tnet can still feel the ripples of the tsunami it created.

http://forum.treasurenet.com/index.php/topic,57363.0.html

Sincerely..... TreasureNet's Best Liar,

Mona Lisa
 

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Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Mona Lisa said..........
"What followed this fish story....was such deliberation and debate that created great shifts in allegencies, bribes, and out-right name calling. It was a untruth so big....that Tnet can still feel the ripples of the tsunami it created."

Very true Mona Lisa, you would seem to be the "Queen of Lies", you even wear a giant hot & bun on yer head with mustard! I love mustard! I would crown you the victor right here & now...............but I am leaning towards Sherms hotdog necklace & I aint the judge! :'( Sorry. ;D
 

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Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

In 1987 I was in the Tibet tracking down what I believe would have been the largest natural platinum and gold deposit ever discovered. Given that I had to pack everything into the area I was only afforded a few basic hand tools and the necessary items to allow my existence in the harshest of elements. Having been to Tibet many times in the past I had already isolated the general location where this huge platinum and gold deposit had still remained hidden from human discovery, so now all I had to do was to bring back the proof of my unprecedented find. On this trip I had arranged to be flown over the area and likewise parachuted into this top-secret location in the XIZANG ZIZHIQU, or for those of you who cannot read the language, “Plateau of Tibet.” I made the dangerous jump into the region on May 27th, of this same year.
Once I was safely on the ground, which was no little task given mating rituals of the area’s migrating Pokeyutue, (or for those of you who cannot read the language, “Giant Humpback Crane,”) I headed northwest roughly 35 miles. During my second day this rough traveling on foot I encountered a band of fierce mountain pirates, but given their size their ensuing raid upon me actually amounted to little more then a playful wrestling match with newborns and toddlers and I quickly escaped the brawl with on a scratch or two and a few bite marks about my shins and ankles.
Six days later I was using my hand tools to plow through the areas rugged groundcover, when suddenly I unearthed a most beautiful and extraordinary item. There, in the palm of my hand, was a platinum and gold nugget of the likes I had never witnessed before. With all of my energies and excitement I worked feverishly with my hand tools until sadly, I had worn them completely out and my passion and mission had to be unfortunately postponed. However, I did managed to smuggle the rare nugget out of the region and back to the states. Below is a picture of this rarest of all precious minerals, a single nugget of both pure grade platinum and gold. If only I would have had a MightyAP.
 

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Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

I would crown you the victor right here & now...............but I am leaning towards Sherms hotdog necklace & I aint the judge! Sorry.

Ah hah!! If Sherm wins.....that would mean that the hogdog necklace was a sham!! :o

Any comments on the Sherm-sham, Sherm? ::) ::)
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Mona Lisa your story lacked a little suspense, but I relished it anyway. hehehe IOW, I ain't buying that hotdog story. Answer me this: why are buns packaged in 8 but dogs are packaged in 10? A real hotdog would know the answer.

PS Leon, I did not take your comments personally. We're all just having some fun being liars here on this thread--and that's the most truthful thing I've said on this topic thus far.

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My own story and my very first attempt to win the prizes:

When sitting on the deck of the Titanic back in 1912, I wondered to myself what would happen if an iceberg should collide with the magnificent ship. Lo and behold if we didn't strike a 'berg that night. As I scrambled to put on a life jacket (one I had purloined from a frightened child who was tightly gripped in his mother's arms), I thought of the vast wealth that sat unguarded in the luxurious liner's safe. Forgoing my own safety, I tossed the vest overboard for those who were trying to avoid the icy grip of the north Atlantic, and went below to find the repository of the rich.

There, in all its unassuming glory stood the 7' tall safe, it's doors burst open by the jolt from the collision. I grabbed the telegrapher's EMERGENY RESPONSE satchel as he tried to send an SOS to shore. Dumping the contents on the floor, I began to fill the satchel with jewelry and cash from the useless safe. I finished loading the last of the spectacular jewelry just in time to hear the band play that song that shall always remain in my memory...Baubles, Bangles, and Beads. It was then that I fled to the catwalk and dived into the black and frothy sea with my treasures. As I plunged downward, I heard the band change its tune as the voices of those poor souls on deck sang Nearer My God to Thee. A sad day to be sure since I had their loot...and soon their souls,too, would be owned by someone else.

The cold and dark waters of the Atlantic held me firm as I struggled to swim to the surface. The weight of my treasure held me down like a diver's belt and I knew I had to make a choice: the goodies or my life. Not wanting to be a poor man and not wanting to transfer my ill-gotten gains to Davy Jones, I held fast to my booty and sank deeper into the angry sea.

Just as my lungs were about to burst, I felt something soft brush my bluing cheek. It was the light touch of a mermaid that brought me out of my near-death stupor. She took my frigid hand and swam me to the surface. With a gulp that would have put Moby Dick to shame, I took a breath of that life-giving air and turned to gaze upon the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Her eyes were as blue as the sky over Montana in July. Her lips were shaped like cupid's target and her hair flowed as if moss on a southern magnolia -- uh...er...but blond and not green. Regaining my composure and seeing the tragedy that lay upon the ocean all about me, I released her tender grip so that I could help my fellow passengers stay afloat awhile longer.

I relieved them of their heavy watches, necklaces, rings, and other doodads that might weigh them down and thereby cause them more grief. I never understood why some of them used their last bit of strength to protest my assistance. In fact, at times I had to hold their heads under water to get them to chill out so that I could remove their useless yet bejeweled finery.

Treading water to remain afloat, I cast my eyes about in the darkness of the night in an effort to find the mermaid. What a selfless being she was for there in the relentless churning of the sea I saw her helping others keep that which was most precious to them--their lives. To each his own, I said to myself as I flipped onto my back. Nestling my bounty on my gut as a sea otter cradles its pup, I did a backstroke in the direction of the murmuring engines of a rescue boat. As I neared the side of the fishing vessel, I elbowed my way through the injured, elderly, women and children so that I could be hoisted aboard first. Much to my delight, I never spilled a single prize from my bag of goodies. Too bad some of those other folks didn't have such a strong will to survive. I saw many of them floating off screaming my name as they did so. I guess they remembered the many laughs we had shared at the Captain's table prior to that dreadful meeting with the iceberg and they wanted to shout their fond farewells before parting from view.

All these years later I remember that eventful night with much sadness. Oh no, not for myself--I came out wealtheir and healthier. No, I feel sadness for all the loot that got away because I could not get around to all of those who were in the sea and sinking fast. What a waste of valuable gold and jewels. But I did retain enough to open my own online store, it's called "Their Loss Was My Gain" and I still sell off pieces of those historic treasures that I singlehandedly saved from a watery grave. The same cannot be said for over 1000 passengers, what a pity.

I have learned something very valuable (if you'll pardon the pun) from that frightful night upon the open sea. That is this: icebergs are a real menace and I thank my lucky stars for Global Warming.

treasure%20chest.jpg

Some of the riches I gleaned from the Titanic. Gypsy, help yourself to whatever you like.
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

The competition is getting steep around here! You bunch of big liars! lol
 

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