New Contest...........TNs Best Liar!!!

[txkickergirl]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!!!
OR has any one else heard this one?
IF YOU LIE THE DEVIL WILL BURN YOUR TOES? (my mother in law use to say that always wondered if she made it up because I have never heard it before)

 

Amazon Forum Fav 👍

Agony and Death on a Gold Rush Steamer: The Disastrous Sinking of the Side-Wheeler Yankee Blade - Grab it through Amazon!

[nhbenz]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Actually its funny you say that tx, my great granfather really DID make up "liar, liar, pants on fire". Actually the whole saying is "liar liar pants on fire, hang them up on a telephone wire". It's documented in the May 20th 1916 Satuday Evening Post... My parents have a copy of it, I'll see if I can get a picture of the article.

 

[coolcash2004]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Lol. I believe that one!

-CC

 

[TreasureTales]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

More BRIBES GIFTS for GYPSYHEART. Here's a little rig for you and your girls to use when treasure hunting. And I'm throwing in a lifetime supply fo gasoline. Why I spend so much on gifts for you just to try to win a bunch of spray-painted rustiques, matches, and a Mighty Fine Mighty AP Digging Tool is an easy question to answer: The Digging Tool is available nowhere else.

The Ultimate Treasure Hunters' Rig

Lifetime supply of gasoline

 

[texan connection]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Found these at the beach today, cant wait to get em home and clean em up

 

[nhbenz]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Lol. I believe that one!

-CC

I'm dead serious! You can actually look this one up online. How ironic that this happened to show up on this thread! It is actually meaningful to me, as its the closest to "fame" that anyone in my family's heritage has ever achieved; certainly trivial, but a part of me is still kinda' proud that one of my forefather's utterings became a commonplace schoolyard taunt.

 

[COUNTRY GIRL]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Well after 2-3 hours of electrolysis this is what we got, should we have left her as is? Another couple hours and she may be all done!

 

[Leon]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

BRIBES,,, For for both of you, I'll let ya's fight over who gets what...
I just found these the other day...
First is this very rare Roman 25B.C. Gold Coin:

And the second one is this very unique, and very old pendant with a big beautiful red ruby in the center:

I wouldn't normally bribe anyone, but i see that pesky TreasureTales is trying to muscle in on me prize.

Good luck all, and may the best Bribe win...

 

[Skrimpy]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

I get to the road & flag down the first car that passes.
She picks me & my stuff up & tries to tell me she's famous. I believe she said her name was Carmen.
Since I had my camera I went ahead & took her picture.

1st. Liar! How did you get a picture of my wife!?!?
2nd. My NY Rangers will win the Cup this season.
3rd. I knew that Jasons Viking find was bogus anyway.
4rd. I would rather have the grand prize than the dinner with RiverRat, Nana, and Leujeane.
5th. I won't need to win the contest for them to want to go with me anyway.
6th. I hit the 177 Million MegaMillions last night.

 

[EDDE]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

WARNING !!!!!!

THIS IS NOT PART OF THE CONTEST

Anyone Posting for this CONTEST MUST POST IN THIS THREAD

Any Posts for it Outside this Thread Will be Deleted & The Poster


WILL BE BANNED !!!!!

WE DO NOT WANT FAKE POSTS ALL OVER TNET !!!!!!!



IF you have already Done So, Please Delete it Or have Me Delete it Before it is TOO LATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Warning Starts With the Time Below in my Last Edit

chuckle

 

[Digginman]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

My pinponting skills have really improved.

DM

 

[EDDE]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

I had been working the feilds with my boys Abraham 13 and Isaiah 10
we had been working the stumps with our draft horse "Bob" and my favorite stallion "Dan"
in a feild i had been clearing for some planting this season coming next
Dan loved good solid work,Bob was not so much of the ilk of working so hard as Dan
me and "the team" would pull the stumps with the chains and blocks
as the boys would dig out and chop out the roots with an axeand shovel
the oldest Abe would chop and Isaiah would dig as he was not trusted with an axe again
once he almost cut off his foot with a stray blow from it sometime ago
poor boy was minus a toe but still able to run like deer
we had cleared about 10 trees by lunch time we'd started well before dawn
so a good meal and rest was needed by all by that time
we set the horse's in a small paddock near by as Bob almost immediately layed down and went to sleep
while Dan browsed on the grasses getting his strength up for the comming hours of work ahead
we sat in the grass and me and the boys unrolled a lunch that our beloved had made for us
it consisted of 2 loafs of bread made from last weeks traded goods from the fort at Ottawa
a large jar of preserved jam elderberries mmmmmmm my favorite
a small wax paper wrapped block of butter
so prized it was spirited from my loves larder cabnet,while she stirred as we left for the mornings work
as i kissed her goodbye Abe "spirited it" away as i "distracted her"
perhaps he would make a good "Ranger" that he always speaks of
some jerked venison from this winter past salted heavy and some coffee and sugar
also 2 peppermint stix, that i had saved to give the boys for a days work welldone
as the boys layed out their tired bones in the early May sun
i brewed some more coffee for me on a small fire also to warm us later when the sun would drop
then i cracked the lid from the jam they both edged closer for a small and a taste
i portioned out the bread with my jackknife
the boys both got a half loaf me i got the remainder then i split the jerked meat 3 ways
Abe then took out his "scalp knife " as he called it
to spread the butter and jam
his "scalping knife" was more like a knife that had been sharped 1000s of times
that it was but a nub of its length scarcely as long as his pinky finger
his brother was not allowed sharp tools as the before mentioned axe episode
he had replaced the rotten wood handle with a stag horn he had found
after the days work me and my love would sit and talk of the days events etc
while he worked on it at night to shape and fit it by the light of the cabin fire
talking all the time of being a "ranger" as he worked the horn to fit his blade
at times till the fire was but coals and me and my love would be fit for bed
one of us would word him "mind tomorrow boy"
his brother was usually fast asleep after eating and washing away the days burden off his small frame
he begrudgingly would say"Hmm,yes,tomorrow what a day it will be" and crawl into bed with his brother
then dog would follow and roll up at their feet
me and my love would chuckle at this to ourselves me nudging her in the side with my elbow
she would "stab" me with her thumb in the ribs
sometimes
ending up leading up to us "practicing" for another brother or sister for the boys
depending on how tired the boys were
as the boys finished spreading light amounts of butter and heavy amounts of jam with Abe's buck horned scalping blade
i had already finished my meat and started on the bread
i mentioned to the boys that the butter was a treat and to spare as much as possible
for mother would use Abe's scalping knife on us all
if she was so inclined to find it all gone
which we all got a good belly laugh from,Abe half as hearted as we all made jokes of his "Ranger" scalping ambitions
the coffee was hot and rolled down my mouth to warm and energize these old bones to the coming days finale
as we sat warming in the day
i took fire to my pipe for some warm smooth smoke pondering what we should work for next
the boys napped lightly after finishing all their alloted bread,butter and jam barley touching the salted meat , typical children
sitting smoking my pipe i thought of her love for use
to do such unselfish thing
my love had traded her fathers gold plated pocket watch which had broken on the way across the prairie
for that trade at the fort in Ottawa
she received my pipe ,2 blankets ,6 canning's jars ,a coffee pot some needles and heavy sewing thread and a puppy for the boys
she hid the pipe from me till Christmas
her and the boys took turns hiding it and carving flowers in it
it was not a manly thing to smoke from but the love they put forth into this thought
made it more dear to me than all the land in the county
as i strolled over to the paddock to check the beast's
i saw a hawk lazily circling over out small piece of cleared prairie looking for a meal no doubt
as i reached the fence Dan came to me without so much as a word
his eye's were a fire of life and passion for adventures with me
everything i could throw his way he took and yearned for more
if it was chasing down prairie wolfs with our hound for skins to trade or stalking deer to fill the larder
a more faithfull adventurous animal i had never come so close to sept save for the hound
Bob on the other hand stayed his distance at the far end closest to the woods
worthless animal his reputation preceded him as many of the neighbors had borrowed him
for clearing land and other beast of burden task's
he was mostly returned within a day or 2 with usually not so many kind words said about his character
sometimes we wished he'd not return but alas he was returned most time fed and watered more then he'd deserved
no one had come to "borrow" him in almost a year
i leaned against the rail of the paddock DAN rubbed his head on my hand
by this time the boys had stirred up and made way to the chains and blocks and begun to set to work for the rest of the day
they were waiting for me to finish my pipe and to get the horses
then something got me and Dan's attention toward the east
a rider coming toward us at a full gallop up the side of a hill about 20 chains distance
he rode to the top of the hill and stopped standing high in his saddle he looked behind himself
toward the east and then the south,for a few minutes in each direction
then turned his mount toward us and cantered toward us
the boys came running to me as by this time they had seen the man coming
he came bounding across the stream below us like a wolf in chase of a hog
then stopped on our side of the stream
then dismounting with flintlock in one hand horse reigns in the other
got down on both knee's and drank long and deep from the clear sweet water
as his horse did also he cut the horse short and tied off the reigns to a tree
then the horse took to browse on the grass's and leaves close by
as he came up the rise toward us
the boys got behind me as they were unsure who this stranger was
Abe pulled out his skinning knife and hid it behind his back
his brother protested softly then receiving a punch in the arm for his protest
not thinking this man had a musket with ball that would blow him into tomorrow's light
i told the boys to stay and mind the horse's and get them ready to hitch for work
which i was greeted with protest "but father"
with a turn of the head toward them and a slight raising of the arm they took off
over the fence faster then id seen in a while
as i chuckled to myself the man approaching laughed aloud at the youthfullness of there curiosity
putting the pipe to my lips i walked to him extending a hand in friendship
he then put his hammer half cocked
this struck me as odd he was ready to shoot something or somebody at a moments notice
slinging the musket to the side into the crock of his buckskin clad elbow
he reached out and took my hand in a grip that a snapping turtle would envy
"hello friend my name is Oliver" i said
"Ado sir mine be Esmond" he replied
the boys walked past with the horse's in tow Bob nagging the whole way
Abe looked over and asked "Are you a Ranger,Sir Esmond?"
which i turned and gave a sharp look of disdain
and he hurried past without so much a look back
Esmond laughed aloud again saying in his laugh
"The boy has spirit,he reminds me of me as a youth in Ohio"
i replied "This is business matters for men on age not children"
he nodded in agreement and took off his hat "i apologize for goating then ,Oliver"
i laughed and said " no need sir,come over to the fire for some coffee with sugar"
"'SUGAR" he exclaimed "This sir is a most welcome meeting"
we both laughed as we made our way to the fire
by this time boys had the team hitched and were making work of a stump with axe and shovel
we sat down in the grass next to the fire and i poured him a hot coffee with sugar in the bottom of the tin cup
he took the cup and savored the smell for a moment then took a sip
"MMMMMM,real sugar,lordy i haven't had a hair of sugar in more then 6 months"
i then unrolled out left over meat and offered it to him
which he was obvious was in need of by the way he hogged it down
"Thank you sir a kinder folk i haven't come across yet!"he said
then his eyes lite up as i pulled out a peppermint stick and handed it to him
i pursed my lips and put my finger to them
"shhhhh" as i pointed to the boys
he looked back and nodded as he put it into his chest pocket ,then winked
he then reached into his pouch on his hip and produced a pipe which he took lite of
and we talked of our youth in the east and of woman past
as the boys toiled at the task i had given them
after a short time he then produced a small flask bottle from his hip bag
with a carmel color liquor in it
"For your kindness,sir" he handed me the bottle
"Esmond, i cant this will leave you without!"i exclaimed
"no worries sir,this is my ration from the state militia provisions down in Ottawa"he said as he handed me the flask
"State militia this far west?what is the trouble in these parts"iasked dumbfounded
"Yes friend i am sad to say,an Indian uprising of the waring sort"
"It seems a group of Pots,Sauk,and Wins have taken up with a chief that goes by the title
Black Sparrow Hawk"
he shook his head"He has them all worked up to a lather about the treaty because he was wronged over the treaty of the last few years"
"the treaty were he was banished to the lands West of the Miss" i questioned
"Yes the same one seems they are killing folks all about ,which is what brings me here"
he took a puff off his pipe
"I'm here to tell you and your folk to head to the fort in Ottawa,we have a large well supplied garrison to house and protect you.i suggest you finish here SOON and gather all things of value and use to you and make to the fort tomorrow at first light!we have many militia and Rangers roaming the valley telling all to make haste"
he finished the last of his coffee and said and rose to his feet as did i also
"With that said Oliver i must also make haste to my next area of patrol!i must bid you fond farwell for now"
PART II to follow

 

[TreasureTales]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

I wouldn't normally bribe anyone, but i see that pesky TreasureTales is trying to muscle in on me prize.

Good luck all, and may the best Bribe win...

Pesky TreasureTales, huh Leon HAH! I'm not pesky...I'm persistant. I don't need treasure, wealth, fame, notoriety...I need that darn digging tool! I have a use for it. I believe Mighty AP's Mighty Digging Tool will be instrumental in developing a cure for cancer. I'm about half way through the process of creating the cure but I need a way to deliver the dosage to the patient. The Mighty Digging Tool would be perfect for deliverying the suppository.

Since I'm working on something that could potentially save millions of lives and therefore make billions of dollars, I think you'd all agree that I should win this contest. Let me win for the good of humanity. I'm not trying to win the contest for myself. I'm trying to win for all of humity.

I need a new tool. Uh...er...I need a new DIGGING tool. Yeah, that's better...I need a new digging tool.

Here's me--hard at work in my lab...

This is the way we currently deliver the suppository...

Here is the amount of money we anticipate earning if the Mighty Digging Tool can successfully deliver the cure. Surely this is TREASURE, found through hard work...

For humanity's sake, I should be chosen as the winner. Think about the children.

 

[Skrimpy]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

My pinponting skills have really improved.
DM

Now that's some freakin comedy! roflmao! I keep coming back to it just to get a good chuckle.

 

[TreasureTales]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

OK guys and gals, I'm turning over a new page in my life. I'm divesting myself of worldly goods. As a result of my new personal philosophy, I will not accept the prizes even if I win.


I would donate the prizes to charity...The Home for Retired Treasure Hunters in West Palm Beach, Florida. I believe the prizes should be given to our brethen...those who have fallen on hard times.

I can see our poorer comrades digging up the front lawn of their retirement home with the Mighty Digging Tool. Can't you?

Besides, I have so much treasure already that it will take me 20 years to get rid of it as I learn to live with less. You can take that to the bank.

 

[Mighty AP]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Wow Leon.............Treasure makes a great bid fer that tool, eh? Think of the children! I dont care much for suppositories but if it is for the good of humanity................!!! Heres a pic of my last prostate exam, bad memories indeed! A little advice, if the doctor puts both hands on yer shoulders while examining yer prostate you may want to find a different doctor, eh? I'll have to lengthen the blade about 4 inches & add lots more serated teeth for ya Treaure!

 

[TreasureTales]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Mighty AP, you need a BIGGER censor dot. YIKES! I nearly tossed my cookies when I saw that photo. Ugh------ly. Yuck!!

 

[Mighty AP]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Come on Treasure...........at least I had LQ shave it first!

 

[TreasureTales]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Come on Treasure...........at least I had LQ shave it first!

Here in California--in Hollyweird to be exact--people get paid to BLEACH the rectal areas of movie stars. You might consider that procedure, as well, if you ever expose your backside on a public forum again.


Since there is no way in hades I will win this contest, what's a guy gotta do to buy one of your superior digging tools? The latest model is extremely intimidating...so I really want one.

 

[Mighty AP]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Come on Treasure...........at least I had LQ shave it first!

Here in California--in Hollyweird to be exact--people get paid to BLEACH the rectal areas of movie stars. You might consider that procedure, as well, if you ever expose your backside on a public forum again.


Since there is no way in hades I will win this contest, what's a guy gotta do to buy one of your superior digging tools? The latest model is extremely intimidating...so I really want one.

Hey Treasure, im required by law to sensor my backside so with that big black bubble in the way, whos to say I havent already had a lil bleaching? And I dont sell my tools so if ya want one...........LIE, LIE LIE!