New Contest...........TNs Best Liar!!!

[texan connection]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Considering all the cemetery detecting threads/ post perhaps we should leave this alone for private discussion along with politics and religion!

 

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[TreasureTales]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Cold & totaly true!!! 8)

As true as all of my stories on this thread, no doubt. LOL

 

[treasurejack]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Dang MightyAP, I understand you had no way of knowing this, but I'm crippled.

 

[TreasureTales]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Dang MightyAP, I understand you had no way of knowing this, but I'm crippled.

Oh man, it's getting deep in here now. LOL

 

[Mighty AP]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

With all the talk of detecting gravesites in this forum, let this be a warning or you might end up racing me in the 40 yard dash..............and I'll smoke you!!!

 

[treasurejack]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Dang! Foiled again! Ooops.....I think I used some of that stuff already. Fingers to lips, "SHhhhhhh......"

 

[Mighty AP]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Damn Jack, you scared me! Thought fer a second that I might have offended you with my "true story", then I realized this is the liars thread!
You are damn good at this, eh?

 

[treasurejack]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

I need to barrow someone's hanky! LMAO Sorry AP.

 

[BuckleBoy]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Hello All!

I've just got to tell you about the great day I just had! I went huntin with my buddy Kindafoundabuckle out lookin for old coins after work today. I asked this nice little old lady if I could detect in her fields and she said yes. I wasn't quite sure what was there in the past because I hadn't done any research beforehand, but the old lady was old, so I figured she'd probably lost some stuff during her lifetime. Anyhow, we got out into the field and Kindafoundabuckle wandered off like he usually does. As soon as he had his back turned I got this HUGE signal. I immediately thought it must be a great treasure rather than an aluminum can. I knew that this one wasn't gonna come out of the ground easy, so I went back to the truck and foresook my usual diggin knife for this:



That's me in the driver's seat digging up the signal I got in her rocky, desert field. I had my hair dyed so that no one would recognize me, and I was wearing clothes I bought in high school that are about 10 years out of fashion. Thanks, KFB for the great pic!

Anyhow, so I get about three feet down into this hole and I find...a man! And he's ALIVE! I didn't know exactly what he was, and I just thought that he was the product of erosion, but PBK identified him as Clint Eastwood!



I've never found anything that old, and to be honest I wasn't too excited, but then I noticed what he had on his belt. It was a two piece confederate Civil War buckle!




I was so stoked that I ripped it off his belt, and as he was protesting gave it to KFB for identification. While he was yelling at me, I decided to re-check the hole. There was another signal in there! So I got back on the backhoe and dug another 3 feet down. Then I started seeing gold glinting in the dirt I had removed! There were gold bars everywhere!!! I started pulling them out and stacking them (with Clint's help) beside the hole.



After finding all the bars, I rechecked the hole again. There was a shallow signal, and I figured it was junk but dug it anyway. It turned out to be this AWESOME $2.50 gold coin!



Despite what others on this site have said, I really think this one grades MS-63 because I found it in this cool plastic thing. It must be really old, becasue it was really deep. Then while I was loading the bars onto the truck, Clint Eastwood picked up my detector and started scanning the dirt I had excavated. All of a sudden, he yelled "I've got a 4th century A.D. Roman Gold Ring!" Naturally, I knew that Clint was correct because he was alive then. Sure enough it was a 4th century A.D. Roman Gold Ring.



About this time, the nice little old lady that let me dig in her desert field came running out with a gun. She told me that I couldn't "turn her desert paradise into a f_ _ cking contruction area." She then ordered me off her land. She didn't notice the stack of gold bars, thank God, but she asked Clint for his autograph. When he reached in his pocket to pull out a pen to sign her left breast, the 4th century A.D. Roman Gold Ring accidentally fell out on the ground. She said "Did you find that here?" Clint, not being a veteran detectorist, and therefore unfamiliar with the concept of lying, said "yes we did, maam." She grabbed the ring and started off for the house, shouting back at me "I'm gonna take this back to the house. Make sure you're here when I get back so that Clint can give me his autograph." At that point, I had started the task of filling in the hole. I loaded the gear back on the truck. She then came back with a sharpie marker. I averted my eyes while Clint signed, but it looked like he got a thrill out of it. About that time, a beat-up old farm truck came thundering across the desert. It was her husband. Clint went running off into the woods screaming like a little girl at the sight of the old man's gun. He had the gold coin in his pocket. KFB and I lept into the truck and started hauling arse. On the way out, across the bumpy desert, I was aware of the fact that the gold bars were shifting around in the back of the truck. I wasn't about to stop because the angry old man was in hot pursuit. When we had escaped, the gas tank on the truck was almost empty, and the stupid gas station in the middle of nowhere (which contained the cast of the movie "Deliverance") wouldn't take a credit or debit card. So I had to pawn the buckle for a fill-up (which is not cheap for KFB's dual wheel, Ford F 2,500,555 Model Truck. When I looked in the back, I realized that all the gold bars had tumbled out of the truck The next morning, I called KFB to ask him to help me make this post, but he had hit his head on something and couldn't remember any of the events of the previous day. I still have a cool find though, but it is pretty gross (like finding gold dentures and posting them or something). It is the sharpie that Clint Eastwood held while signing a 98-year-old-woman't teat. So here is my treasure from that day. I'm really glad KFB took a bunch of photos, or else no one would ever believe such a great treasure hunting story. Oh, and boy does that sharpie write good...



Regards,

Buckleboy

 

[BuckleBoy]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Oh, and by the way. As we were hightailing it out of there, I happened to see a python caught in an electric fence.

 

[TreasureTales]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

buckleboy, I think you've been snake bit.

 

[lucky1777]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

I wasn't going to get involved in here, but I think people new to this site needs to see some truthful treasures no matter where they look. I live in Illinois, and as most people know we have had a bad winter. We have had a lot of snow and ice. I have been locked up in my house for months and have been going crazy. Last weekend I was watching the snow fall out my window and watched the snow plow come by. ( A snow plow, for all you warm weather folks is a truck with a big blade on the front that clears the roads.) As he came around my corner I noticed the blade was digging into my yard. The blade cut a deep and long rut in the dirt. This is an area I have never hunted and thought maybe he could have dug something up. Well since I haven't been out all winter I opened up some new batteries and loaded the machine. I put on six layers of clothing (dress in layers it keeps you warmer, and if you get hot you can remove one.) and headed out the door. I walked over to the corner to see the huge rut the plow had made. It was about 8 inches deep and 5 feet long. I figured something had to have been there, so I looked for the spot where he had pushed it. I seen some dirty looking snow and figured thats where it was. I waded through the drifts to get my detector from the porch. I have never hunted in snow so I wasn't sure how the machine would respond. I turned it on and ground balanced it. So far so good it was performing great. I was hunting for about 15 minutes and received this loud sound in my headphones. I looked at my machine and it said OVERLOAD. This has never happend to me and didn't know what to think. Maybe the snow was causing my machine to malfunction. So I went over the spot again and another overload signal. I figured since this was the only sound I had received I might as well dig there. I got down on my knees and began to dig. My fingers were freezing digging in that ice snow mixture. I dug what felt like a mile and finally hit something. I noticed the flash of gold and my heart began to race.



I continued to dig like a mad man and finally freed this from the icy grips that once held it. I jumped up from the snow and ice covered ground and ran toward the house. I got about half way to the door and remembered I left the detector laying on the ground. So I turned around and ran back to get it. I headed back toward the house and went inside. My wife and kids had been watching me out the window and thought I was crazy. But know they could see the excitement in my eyes and knew I had found something good. I came inside and started to remove the five layers of clothes. Finally I was undressed and headed to the kitchen to see what I had found. It was very heavy and solid feeling so I just knew it had to be gold. But what was it. I cleaned the ice, snow and mud off and just stared at it in amazement. About this time the wife came in to see and turned the light on. ( In my excitement I had forgot to do that.) The light rays reflected off the item and made it possible to see what looked like writting etched into it. I tried and tried to make out what it said, but couldn't quite figure it out. Then I remembered a technique I have seen on T-Net. People use chalk to make out old carvings in stone. So I yelled to my daughter to find her sidewalk chalk. After a long hunt through the toy boxes we found one black piece. I grabbed it and headed back to the kitchen. I began to rub and could start to make out some of the writting.



I finally could read what it said. HOW TO MAKE WOMEN HAPPY. BY OD. Could it really be? Could I have found the answer that every man since the beginning of time has been looking for? I just had to figure out who the author really was. But the first letter of the name had been hit by the blade and could not be made out. So I hit google and began my search. After about 3 hours of searching, with no luck, my wife came into my office. She said why don't you just ask PBK to help you. ASK PBK, I laughed. Why so he can beg me for some more of the answers he gives on the what is it forum. No I would have to figure this one out on my own. After another 3 hours and no luck, I started to give up. Then the wife said maybe there is a clue inside. So I began to flip through the gold pages. Page after page nothing. Then finally in the middle of the book I could see some more etching. Then the wife said, if this is the real thing we could sell this for millions or maybe billions. I considered this and concluded that it should be viewed by everyone for free. I hoped that by revealing the answer, all women especially GYPSY ( theres my butt kiss) would be made happy. The hard work and great research she does on here deserves to be rewarded. So I began the chalk rubbing and began to see the answer. I have not looked at it myself. I figured I would take the picture and let all men view it with me. So here my friends is the answer that we all have been searching.

 

[PBK]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

I must admit that I'm utterly baffled by this entire exercise or competition. I should have thought I'd be the winner by default.

At any rate, as moderator I hereby disqualify myself from any and all acclaim for my renowned prowess of prevarication, and leave the field open only to amateurs.

 

[N.J.THer]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Has anyone seen my pet python??

Here Smothers....come boy.

 

[TreasureTales]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Lucky, I could have told you that long ago and spared you from the fridgid cold. Speaking of fridgid...I was married once. I always figured I gotta try marriage once - just so I can complain about it. LOL

 

[treasurejack]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

The Crowned Champion of all Lies!

Last year, while attending the annual roast and hazing of Prince Charles, I was approached by two members of Royal Family who wished to acquire my professional expertise. Through their explanation and presentation of the details I was made to understand that several items belonging to the Royal Crown had suddenly turned up missing and that if I was at all interested they were prepared to hire me with the hope that I might be able track the items down and likewise return them to their rightful place within the Royal Treasury. Since I didn’t have a MightyAP to accompany me back into the XIZANG ZIZHIQU, (or “Plateau of Tibet) where the rarest of all precious minerals still awaited my return, I gladly accepted the assignment under my own terms, which they quickly agreed to without hesitation. Having the terms of our agreement now etched in stone I decided to begin my new quest that very same evening. Had my reputation preceded my abilities I’m sure the Royal Family would have placed my activities under certain restrictions and limitations, however, given the full credibility of my past endeavors I was granted full access to, and temporary command over, all British intelligence and counter intelligence sources, including certain sectors of the British military. Given this new charge, in little more then ten days time I had managed to setup a secret command center near the Oka River, in Central Russia.

My main reason for selecting central Russia as the location for the command center was rather obvious, as just about any movie buff can tell you, “Russia is usually portrayed to be the bad guy,” and as such, my precision instincts held little doubt that they had also played a huge role in the disappearance of the Royal Family’s missing treasures. Now the classified nature of the following events prevents me from offering you the full scope of the actual events which took place, however, I am at liberty to tell you that the following weeks routinely coursed me through certain arteries of the Russian Mafia, several communist remnants of the KGB, and finally to a Russian billionaire named, “Ursure Putnmeon.”

Putnmeon was a rather curious man with a passion for speaking in hearsay and jest as he seldom use words as completed truths during our many conversations. However, being a man of considerable evasive skills myself, I was able to eventually outsmart Putnmeon and force him into an agreement to return the missing items to the Royal Family under my complete care and full charge. Three days later, just as we had agreed, Putnmeon delivered the missing items to me at a secret meeting in a remote location near Bangkok, Tyland. Though there were many notorious factions which tried to prevent my eventual return of these British treasures I was able to defend myself and safeguard the items until they were safely back in British hands. Below are the pictures of missing British treasures that I was able to return to the Royal Treasury without drawing world-wide embarrassment upon the British Crown.

 

[Mona Lisa]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Lucky, lucky, lucky........You're quite right. It is impossible to make a woman happy....says Mona Lisa as she lies through her teeth.

 

[northeast hunter]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!! $13.000.00 coin

Wow i was cleaning up some coins from last summer and holy crap a 1776 New Hampshire copper very rare only 4 known to exist until now this coin goes for $13.000.00 in bad shape.this may be actually true i just need to clean it up some more..

See the face in the third photo

 

[TreasureTales]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Jack, I know James Bond. He and I are personal friends. You, sir, are no James Bond. You're more like James Belushi. LOL

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Some of you may have had unpleasant experiences with property owners. Usually I have no trouble because I'm such a likeable and easy going guy. Everybody in the Rubber Room would agree, no doubt, in that characterization of me. One day, I regret to report, I met a property owner from hell. Here's my story.

My metal detector is so finely tuned and technologically advanced, I can rely on it to find treasures that no one else here on TreasureNet can even imagine. So precisionally engineered is my machine, in fact, that I can find targets that were lost thousands of years ago. I recall one day, last week, when my machine really surprised me in its depth ability.

I was searching the grounds of an old occult meeting hall. There were all types of strange symbols on the walls and I just knew those symbols would lead me to a treasure. Swinging my coil just above the weeds in the parking area of the abandoned building, I got an extremely faint signal in my headphones. Turning at a 90 degree angle, I swung the coil over the same spot to determine whether the target was worth digging. No use digging up a piece of trash from the Archaic Period of the local Native Americans, I thought to myself. Getting a good hit again, although faint, I began to dig for the target.

After digging and checking the hole down to a depth of 8 miles, I felt I was getting close. Another 792 miles into the hole and I knew I'd find my quarry. It was getting hot in the hole so I stopped to wipe my brow. Just then, as I was leaning on my shovel, I heard a horrendous rumbling and looked down to see the earth give way to a firey hearth. The hearth was huge and although it was hot, I was not afraid. Suddenly a rather odd looking fellow stepped from the flames and inquired about my presence. Assuming he was just curious, and maybe the property owner, I did what I usually do in such circumstances.

I reached into my trash pocket and showed him what I had found thus far, "Just pulltabs and gum wrappers, so far - but my original target is nearby," I said in a slightly laughing voice. "Ahhhh, a treasure hunter," he growled and asked me if I knew a lady named Gypsyheart. "Why, yes, yes I do," I was able to stammer as his hot breath scorched my neck. "Good," he said, "I have been saving a place for her as my Queen - Queen of the Underworld. She's going to make a fine companion for me down here in the depths of HELL." Shocked, I dropped my shovel and tried to beat a hasty retreat. Alas, he reached out a clawed and ruby-red hand and grabbed me by my carpenter's apron. "Help yourself to my treasures, your Nastiness," I squeaked out. Unfortunately, he had another question for me and pulled me back to his roasty-toasty lair.

"You puny peon, I'm not done with you yet. Tell me," he shouted at me, "do you also know a man with the ridiculous name of Mighty AP?" Now fearing for my own safety and the future safety of two other TNetters, I lied to the crimson creton and exclaimed, "NO! I don't know anybody with such a silly name and wouldn't EVER want one of those digging tools he makes." Oops...suddenly realizing I had incriminated myself, I wriggled free of his hellacious grasp and made a beeline for the surface.

Huffing and puffing from the strenuous marathon back to the surface of the earth, I looked down the hole to see if maybe he or his henchmen were following me. Luckily, there was no indication they were hot on my tail. Quickly, I filled in the hole and tamped it down with my still-shakey foot. Looking up to see the strange symbols on the occult building's facade, I could now honestly say I had translated them into English: Gateway to Hell - NO DIGGING. I learned my lesson the hard way that day - don't dig without permission.

As I gathered my gear and headed home for a cold beverage, I remembered that I had never found my original target. Not being a person who gives up easily, I turned the truck around and returned to the site of my near-death experience. There, lying on the ground near the hole, was a tiny round nail. It soon dawned on me that IT was the object of my pursuit and had been stuck on the underside of my coil all along - held fast with a piece of bubblegum tossed aside by some school child, no doubt, and inadvertantly afixed to my coil cover from the very beginning of my hunt. Only the heat of hades was able to melt the gum from the coil, and thus it became dislodged as I exited the hole.

Sadly, now realizing I had nothing to show for my efforts and yet had nearly become another unwilling disciple of the devil, I walked back to the truck. Heaven must have been smiling upon me that day, though, because I eyeballed a beautiful piece of jewelry just as I was about to climb into my truck.

Here are the pix that illustrate my story.

The Nail

The Eyeballed Jewelry

The Hell Hole

The Property Owner from Hell

Thank goodness I had my trusty little digital camera with me. You wouldn't have believed my story, I bet, had I not been able to photograph the highlights.

Oh, I have a little advice for Gypsyheart and Mighty AP: Behave yourselves because the devil himself has plans for you, and only through wise decisions can you avoid the eternal flames of his domain.

 

[treasurejack]

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

LOL TreasureTales, that was a good one, but I assure you, I'm only a tad bit shaken and stirred!

By the way, just a thought here, but given the subject of these threads, when they finally do announce the winner, "how will we know they're not lying?" lol