New Contest...........TNs Best Liar!!!

Attachments

  • 000_0543.JPG
    000_0543.JPG
    97.6 KB · Views: 451
Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Gypsy,

I figured that as tough as this competition is going to be, I need to show everyone that after being happily married for 15 years I think I know the way to a woman's heart.

First off let me offer: chocolate. To satisfy your cravings. ::)


choc bar.jpg

cake.jpg

choc heart.jpg




Next I'll try : a full weekend at a spa. To pamper you like you deserve to be.

spa.jpg

Full Manicure, Pedicure & Massage included.
massage.jpg





How about a romantic dinner for two. With drinks and dancing afterwards.

dinner.jpg


If you're single and interested, I'll be available for dinner, dancing, etc. As long as my wife doesn't mind. I'll post my pic (just in case). ;)




me.jpg




and lets not forget DIAMONDS are a girls best friend. :o

diamonds.jpg

big diamond.jpg



Last but not least, a couple dozen beautiful red roses. As beautiful as they are, they do not compare to your beauty. ;D

roses.jpg



Well that's my humble attempt at bribery. Good luck to everyone. :D
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Holy crap, that was by far the most syrupy bribe yet. Makes a guy wanna ralph. Gypsy, you know King of Swing (or is that King of Swill? :D) is married...don't be the other woman, OK? I'm single, BTW, but too old for ya. HOWEVER, I have a single 33 year old nephew who just bought his own plane and has his own business...shall I give him your name?
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Gypsy has, as expected, accepted my bribes. Now you will hear the whole story. I haven't told this story for years and I may decide to delete it at any time. I thought I would never tell it again. I'm about to tell the story of the "Witch's Grave". The only reason I post it here is because everyone on this thread is ready to listen to if not believe you. No one would finish reading this if they thought I was being serious. I assure you though, I am being serious. You can believe me or not but I would heed any warnings you receive by reading this.
How many of you have ever been to Yazoo City, Mississippi? I went there some years back with a friend of mine to do some relic hunting. We had heard that there was a mass grave of unknown Confederate soldiers buried at the Glennwood Cemetary and we were planning on doing some night time grave robbing of sorts. We were young then and had no respect for the dead, especially Confederates.
What we didn't know is, in this very same cemetary was a witch's grave. I'll not say the name of the witch but you can research it and, should you learn her name, I suggest you never let it slip from your lips.
On our planned evening we drove to the end of the road and parked the pickup far back into the brush so as not to be seen. We decided to leave our detectors at the motel room because we figured, if we got caught, they would be taken away by the law and we were going to dig directly into the graves and keep everything anyway. Didn't need a detector this trip.
Back in those days we didn't have mini-mag flashlights so we crawled through the darkness sort of feeling our way to the old, rusty wrought iron fence that surrounded the cemetary. We didn't want to turn on the flashlights that we did have as they were too bright and may have drawn attention to ourselves.
We crawled towards the back of the cemetary as that was the oldest part with the oldest graves. The fence was in major disrepair so we just crawled over a section that had fallen over years ago. I later learned that the Confederate graves all over the country were being left in unattended condition. This started soon after the Civil War as you can see by the following.
Excerpt from the annual message of the Governor of Ohio to the 67th General Assembly, January 4, 1887.

The confederate cemetery near Columbus.... The title to it is in the United States, and that Government should care for these graves; but it seems to have overlooked them. The fence that encloses the lot is in a dilapidated condition, and the entire burial place is overgrown with weeds and thistles and briars. It is recommended that unless the United States Government can be induced to do so, an appropriation be made to rebuild the fence and clean up the grounds and put them in orderly repair and condition.

The same should be done for the last resting place of about 200 Confederate dead who are buried on Johnson's Island. The hatred and detestation that all loyal people must and should ever entertain for the destructive political doctrines that these men fought for ought not to stand in the way of either a cordial feeling toward the living who have abandoned such heresies, or a proper regard and Christian respect for the graves of the dead who, although wrong, yet heroically and valorously contended for the convictions they entertained.

It's only when men, Northerners such as this governor, started speaking out about honoring the dead and their graves, no matter which side of the war they fought on, that grooming of these resting places began. There are still sites though that are neglected by all and visited by only the curious or would-be thief. The graveyard is a very noisy place if you listen long enough.
The graveyard we were digging was a mass grave, many soldiers side by side. We figured that, in those times, the graves were hastily dug, especially the mass graves, to get them in the ground before decay set in. We also figured they were buried shallow due to the quantity to be buried. They wouldn't take the time to dig the assumed 6 feet. We were right.
My friend, not even his first name to be revealed here, decided we should get on each side of the oldest area and dig towards each other. As I started digging with a military-style foxhole shovel, I immediately hit what seemed like a flat stone only about 2 inches down. No matter which way I went it was this flat, continuous stone. After about 20 minutes or so my buddy shouted at me with a whisper. "Hey, check it out" he said excitedly. He crawled half way to my location and then tossed a soldier's belt buckle to me. "I want that back" he whispered as he crawled back to his excavation site. I set the buckle on the flat stone I was unearthing and continued looking for an end to the thing. Finally I came to an edge of the stone and began digging down it. Again, more whispered shouts from my friend. "Holy crap man, I think there's a sword in here!". Now I'm beginning to feel I'm gonna be left out on finds and began to dig frantically. All of a sudden, about 6 inches down, there was a narrow, cave-like space exposed under the stone. I then began to systematically drag shovel after shovelfull of dirt from under the stone carefully feeling and straining my eyes in the darkness looking for any artifact I might unearth. "Yep, it's a sword!" I heard my friend exclaim.
After a while the shovel was worthless for digging under the stone so I began loosening the dirt with my pocket knife and then pulling the loose dirt out by hand. Suddenly my arm was caught on something way back under the slab. No matter what I did, I could not get my arm out from under this huge slab! "Dammit" I said. "Get over here and help me get out from under this thing" I called in a nearly panicked voice. My buddy came over and grabbed hold of my arm and together we pulled with everything we had until my arm came flying from that dark hole. "Holy krist, I don't know what I was stuck on but I couldn't budge" I exclaimed. My buddy took hold of my shirt sleeve while asking "What's this?". "Hell, I don't know, hold on" I said while reaching in my pocket for my Zippo. As I flicked my Zippo (no Bics in those days) we simultaneously exclaimed "Holy CRAP!!" Wrapped around my shirt cuff by the button were human finger bones. Funny thing was it was all 3 bones of the finger, they didn't separate. My partner looked directly into my face, called me a wuss and crawled back towards his diggings. I pounded on the finger bones for what seemed like an eternity until they finally broke and fell to the ground. I took a deep breath, looked back into the hole and slowly exhaled. I can do this I told myself and began to pull dirt from the hole again.
As I kept digging and removing dirt it dawned on me. I'm not getting anything at all out of here. I'm not even getting anymore bones. They wouldn't bury just a finger and, given the size of this slab over the grave, it wasn't disturbed by anything either. As I'm contemplating the situation my buddy whispers sternly towards me. "Hey, where's my stuff?" "What?" I asked. He again asks where his stuff is and proceeds to show me where he had it stashed. "Right here, it was all right here" he exclaimed. "Hell, I haven't even been near there, what the heck's your problem?" I asked.
We syncronized our silence. Something is happening here and it isn't going well for us. I again pulled out the Zippo and lit it over where the bones had fallen. They were gone. I illuminated the top of the slab where I had placed the buckle. It too was gone.
"What the hell's going on?" I asked. "Get over here" I called to my friend. (Almost said his name) I shared with him the fact that I wasn't getting anything else out of this hole. Without discussing it, we both began dragging dirt out from under the slab. "There's gotta be some stuff under here" he said just as I felt something in the cold, dry dirt. "There is" I said excitedly, "I'm getting it". Little by little I was able to work loose a small, leather bag. I was amazed at the condition of the bag but didn't make public that observation at that moment. "Let's get some dirt off this slab and see if we can figure out who's under here" I said. Not caring about artifacts anymore but more into why the items had disappeared, we began dragging the dirt off that had been covering the slab. As more and more dirt came off it became apparent that there was an inscription carved into the slab. When we felt we had finally exposed the entire inscription, we turned on one of the flashlights, shielding it's brightness as best we could with our jackets, and began reading. "Entombed here is (name) She is a witch, a black witch with a black heart. He (They always said "He" in those days when they were warning graverobbers or the such. Women weren't expected to be out digging up stuff anyway)who should release her black soul by removing this stone or he (See?) who shall speak of her name shall perish but suffer an eternity of pain." These letters were chisled into the stone in block letters. There was more writing, writing in letters that appeared to be burned into the stone, freshly burned. It read "There is no man greater than one that has fought and died for a cause. His ground is hallowed and shall remain so". Again, no mention of women but they weren't soldiers back then.
"Damn, it's that witch. She's the one that took the stuff!" my friend said angrily. I couldn't believe he was actually believing a dead witch had taken his stuff just moments ago and now he appears ready to confront her about it. Where I come from you just don't mess with that strong of mojo.
"Tell you what", I said, "Let's just put the dirt back over this slab, you go fill your holes and let's get the heck outta here." "Fine with me" he said, "But I'm coming back here some day and getting some of that good stuff. It's all over the place!"
When we got back to our motel room he just had to call his girlfriend. During their conversation he said "Yeah, some witch named (he says her name here) took all the stuff I dug up. Sword and all". My friend died the following Monday in a plane crash on his way home.
This was a terrible loss for me. He was my best friend; the only other person that I knew that liked to metal detect and treasure hunt. I just knew that he had died due to the witch's curse. I started to research everything I could about witches and how to break their spells. I never believed in them before and now I'm wanting to stop their powers. I found that planting a tree over a witch's grave will keep them intered in their tomb and they cannot do any evil as long as there is a tree above them. At the end of this post is a picture of a witch's grave with a tree planted directly on it. This grave is not the one I'm talking about, it's a witch's grave back in Illinois I believe. I'll not take any pictures of or enter the cemetary I'm talking about ever again. I returned once to plant a tree on the edge of the slab in hopes of keeping this witch in her tomb. I've told my grandchildren the story and they have promised to keep a live tree growing over this grave.
After flying out to attend my friend's funeral and getting my life back on track a little, I started going through some of the stuff that had remained unpacked from our trip. There it was, that little, leather bag, still unopened and in pristine condition. I stared at it lying there in the bottom of my carry-on bag. Many thoughts went through my mind at that moment. The dead soldiers, the witch, the finger bones, my friend, the warnings carved into the slab, the statement burned into the slab. We had completely forgotten the one thing we had managed to bring back from that graveyard.
I walked slowly towards the bed, all the while staring in at that little, leather bag. I reached in to take it out of the larger bag. As soon as my hand touched it I could feel the coldness, the same coldness I felt reaching into that witch's grave. We had tried to open this thing when we drove away from the graveyard that night but it wouldn't open so we just threw it into the bag and forgot about it. Now, without any effort whatsoever, I'm able to lift the flap on the little bag. As I look inside all I can see is a piece of, what looks like, parchment paper. The paper has yellowed but is in very good condition.
I slowly unfold the paper to reveal this message.
"You must do 3 things to receive 3 rewards.
First you must log into treasurenet.com (you will understand this meaning in years to come)
Second you must become a Charter Member and wear the ribbon proudly by your name
Third you must publically admit to attempted grave-robbing and warn others of the curse
Your rewards will be as follows;
First you will learn of many others that metal detect and treasure hunt like your lost friend (I'm really sorry about that but he said my name aloud)
Second you will be able to share with others, places to go and techniques to use in your hobby
Third, and most importantly, you will be awarded a Mighty AP Diggin Tool (Whatever that is)"
The note was signed "name here, keeper of the graves"
I swear this is all true. Google whatever you can, these places are real, the graves are real and the events are real! Just pray that the tree over the slab works. Because of the slab, I couldn't plant the tree directly over the grave.
 

Attachments

  • grave.jpg
    grave.jpg
    20.9 KB · Views: 329
Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Getting Down to the Wire for the Liars.. ::)

..so if anyone has anything else to add ....Hurry up. I will be chosing the five (Lord this is hard) by Saturday Morning......

AND REMEMBER>>>>>>>>In order to qualify ,you need photos. So if your story doesnt have photos...you cant be chosen...go back an add them if you havent already......

And all bribes, gifts and tokens of esteemed appreciation must be postmarked by Friday Nite midnight.....Any bribes recieved after that date ...will be kept...but not recognized as bribes for this contest.... :-*


Packerbacker ....get on with the story already...bribe accepted .... :D
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

I better try one more time...

Hello all,,,
I have to give another warning! If you notice above my Avatar, I am no longer a
charter.gif
". This happened a few days ago and I just received a PM today explaining why. I made the mistake of posting my bribe for this contest in the "Todays Finds" section of the forum. I hadn't even realized it until after I did it. Anyway, the PM stated:

Dear, poor little Leon....
I regret to inform you that because of your recent post, that evidently was supposed to go into the "Lier's Contest" thread, a harsh penalty had to be invoked. We have stripped you of your "
charter.gif
ship" until such time resterbution can be made.

Sincerely,,,

(They forgot to sign it)

Again,,, this is just to give you all a warning!, do not post your lies on the other boards...
Now don't you feel sorry for me and want me to win the contest... :'(
Have a great day, Leon...


















Actually, I'm sure my membership dues was way over due, but I can't remember my PayPal password so that I can send in another payment... As soon as I can get into the account, or create a new one, I will join back up... For now, I guess I'll just be a "Hero Member"... :(
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

packerbacker said:
"Ha, ha" in the best imitation I can do of that kid on the Simpsons
Click to expand...
I find myself imitating that little guy a lot... It's probably a good thing this forum doesn't allow .wav files... ;D

P.S.> As usual, I can't remember that little guys name right at the moment...
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Leon said:
packerbacker said:
"Ha, ha" in the best imitation I can do of that kid on the Simpsons
Click to expand...
I find myself imitating that little guy a lot... It's probably a good thing this forum doesn't allow .wav files... ;D

P.S.> As usual, I can't remember that little guys name right at the moment...
Click to expand...

Nelson Muntz; "Ha Ha!"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelson_Muntz
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

You have received this private message because you have selected to accept mail in your "True Love" mailbox from the following sender: Treasurejack


Dear Gypsy,
Just wanted to tell you I had a really special time last night, the dinner was great and the evening walk on the beach proved the perfect prelude to the tropical cruise we have scheduled. My driver will pick you up at 7pm on Friday and escort you to my private jet that lays fueled and ready. In the mean time, I will be forever waiting your arrival at my secluded island retreat in Jamaica. If there is anything you need at all please just inform my driver and he will see that your needs are taken care of. Once again, thanks for the fantastic evening.
Your's Truly,
Treasurejack
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

treasurejack said:
You have received this private message because you have selected to accept mail in your "True Love" mailbox from the following sender: Treasurejack


Dear Gypsy,
Just wanted to tell you I had a really special time last night, the dinner was great and the evening walk on the beach proved the perfect prelude to the tropical cruise we have scheduled. My driver will pick you up at 7pm on Friday and escort you to my private jet that lays fueled and ready. In the mean time, I will be forever waiting your arrival at my secluded island retreat in Jamaica. If there is anything you need at all please just inform my driver and he will see that your needs are taken care of. Once again, thanks for the fantastic evening.
Your's Truly,
Treasurejack
Click to expand...

Wow! Are we sure this Mighty AP Diggin Wondertool isn't filled with gold coins instead of wheaties? Keep me in the loop here, folks!

Buckleboy

Proud member of the KDM
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Dear Treasure,
I'm at packerbackers at the moment so I have to respond from his computer. All I ask is that there is also room for him,.....you understand. Thanks much, as ever Ms. Gypsy
PS....you're a jewell




packer.......stop that!



packer......I mean it



you crazy
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Dear pakerbacker,
Nice try, now untie her, put her in the damn limo, and drive her to my private airfield or you're fired! Good help is so hard to find these days. And so are good jobs! Now quit fooling around!
Sincerely,
Your Boss!
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

BuckleBoy said:
treasurejack said:
You have received this private message because you have selected to accept mail in your "True Love" mailbox from the following sender: Treasurejack


Dear Gypsy,
Just wanted to tell you I had a really special time last night, the dinner was great and the evening walk on the beach proved the perfect prelude to the tropical cruise we have scheduled. My driver will pick you up at 7pm on Friday and escort you to my private jet that lays fueled and ready. In the mean time, I will be forever waiting your arrival at my secluded island retreat in Jamaica. If there is anything you need at all please just inform my driver and he will see that your needs are taken care of. Once again, thanks for the fantastic evening.
Your's Truly,
Treasurejack
Click to expand...

Wow! Are we sure this Mighty AP Diggin Wondertool isn't filled with gold coins instead of wheaties? Keep me in the loop here, folks!

Buckleboy

Proud member of the KDM
Click to expand...

Oh...Didnt AP mention the fact that these diggers are solid Gold....dang that man...always forgetting the little details.....
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

Funny you should mention skulls. I have treasurejack's great grandpa's skull in my office.
 

Attachments

  • skull.jpg
    skull.jpg
    2.9 KB · Views: 327
Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

No, that's dear old Grandmother!
Noticed the sharp teeth and severe overbite right away!
Said in her last letter that she had finally run off with a crazed limo driver? lol
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

OK. I didn’t intend to reveal this secret for another 40 years or so, but I was persuaded to break this fantastic news to the TreasureNet Forum. I’m sure CNN and the other networks will be trying to track me down immediately, so I plan to leave town tomorrow to go into hiding. So, I’m honored to share this breakthrough announcement with you now.

I invented a time machine.

I’m sorry. I had to – in order to beat the rest of you to the treasure! A wealthy elderly friend of mine collected coins for more than 80 years. He used to give me little peeks at his tremendous collection. He had bags and bags of silver coins. Rolls and rolls of Barbers, standing and walking liberties, buffalos, mercs, and milk cans full of IH and wheat pennies. I even gave him a lot of my MD finds over the past 35 years, so I felt like his hoard was partially mine. As he reached his later years, Elmer used his retirement income to purchase proof gold and silver coins from the mint to add to his valuable booty. He had this treasure trove in that locked basement room – worth millions.

Elmer didn’t have any family. I was his closest friend. He knew I wanted – yes, even coveted – his treasure. I know I shouldn’t have assumed, but I was sure he would leave his coin collection to me in his will.

Sadly, my friend Elmer passed away last year. I attended the reading of the will with a heavy heart, but was admittedly anxious to find out if I was the beneficiary of his assets – at least the plunder he had secreted away in his basement.

The attorney read the will – covering the boring stuff. Yada, yada, yada. Finally he got to the good part. Do I get the coin cache? Am I the grateful recipient of his riches??? Do I get the loot or not!?!?!?

Well, Elmer had an ornery streak. He knew I wanted the spoils of his 80+ years of hard work and he wasn’t about to give it to me easily. He always said I would outlive him by 50 years. So his cruel joke on me was to give me the prize, but put it just out of my reach. He willed his money to me – yep, the entire collection. But he buried it in a public park and sealed it in a vault with a time lock that could not be opened for 50 years – on March 4, 2056 to be precise.

Ahhhhhh!!! I know he meant for me to inherit it later in life when it was worth even more. But a few years passed between the time he wrote the will and the time he finally kicked the bucket. Well I’m no spring chicken anymore and I don’t know if I’ll be around in 50 years.

Plus, I know the vault has a time lock on it, but who knows if someone is going to dig it up and figure out how to get into it before 2056. How many people know it is there? Well the attorney does, and no offense spez401, but I don’t necessarily trust all lawyers. Then there are the workmen who built the vault, moved the cans and bags of coins into it, and buried it. Elmer was too weak to do all of that, so I know he hired people to do it. How many people knew about this treasure? TOO MANY.

So I couldn’t wait 50 years. I spent days trying to think about how to get to my hard-earned treasure. OK, don’t argue with me about it being hard-earned. I feel like I worked hard for it and darn it, I deserve it now – not 50 years from now.

One day while watching “Back to the Future” it hit me. Just fast forward to 2056, get the loot and bring it back to the present day!!! Brilliant! I won’t bore you with the process of inventing my time machine. It isn’t a silly DeLorean car – you can’t believe what you see in the movies. In fact, it can be made with fairly common materials that most of you would have around your house and garage. If you want the specs, BOM, and assembly instructions, just send me a PM.

Anyway, you have been so patient reading this story so I’ll give you the good news. Just yesterday, I warped forward to 3/4/56, dug up the vault from my back yard (of course I moved it last year to protect it…) and opened it. The collection is amazing. Just cataloging it will take a month or more. Since I know all of you are gold hounds, I took one picture immediately after I opened the vault. It is a nice selection of some proof gold coins that Elmer acquired in his last years. Enjoy.

Gold_coins_found_in_2057_603x480.jpg​

p.s. Gypsy – thanks (in advance) for your kind words and your request – I’ll be happy to give you those special coins you asked for as your bribe. I’m ashamed to admit I fast forwarded to next week to see if I won the contest, but I won’t ruin the suspense for everyone else... ;)
 

Re: New Contest...........TN's Best Liar!!!

amf - one word for you and grandpa: DIAPERS

treasurejack - I saw your photo at the post office today, sorry but your parole violation disqualifies you from the contest

packerbacker - I understand your Viagra prescription couldn't be renewed so your fantasy must come to an end.

wolfmanjoe - Michael J. Fox you are not. Give the time machine angle a rest already.

BuckleBoy - Gypsy is wanting a man, not a BOY!

Montana Jim - your ability to ID mysterious treasure is soooooo valuable here that you are not allowed to leave the premises. Sorry about that. hehehe

Listen all you wannabe peckerwoods, the search for treasure and the skillful handling of the Mighty AP Digging Tool should be left to a REAL MAN. Besides, I don't need no stinking bribes to win the affection of Lady Gyspyheart - she knows a whiner winner when she sees one. Stand back and let me claim the prize I so justly deserve.


But to hedge my bet, I'll fling a little more bling.
GoldCoins1L.jpg
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

redneck name

⬅️ Previous Thread

Lets weigh in on Cemetary Detecting

Next Thread ➡️

Top Member Reactions

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 4 (members: 0, guests: 4)
Metal Detecting Stuff

Latest Discussions

Back
Top