CRISPINS CRITTERS

[AU24K]

Don't reply thusly.

Dearest UNG Circle of the Omicron Delta Kappa leadership honor society .
Thank you for your kindness in extending the opportunity to send you funds in exchange for a stole rental.
How ever my family has a time honored tradition of each graduate wearing "the family fur stole" that great ,great ,great ,grandaddy made from possums when his first son Zeke gradiated sixth grade.

I could schedule time to swing by for a drink before the walk though but be sure to let me know soon as there are several sororities vying for my time that day.
(Grandaddy made other things too ,some are downright libatious in nature and were quite a hit in science class before the fire.)

See you soon in my stole of honor... .
Most cordially xxxx.

Umm... I just might....

May I quote you?

Tailored a bit to my particular vein of humor....Including the mention of paddles and ritualistic procedures....

AHEM!



"Did someone mention, "Taylor?"

If bail needed, please respond....


"Andy, you just have to get Scott out of jail.
I'm sure that he wasn't getting loaded in a "No Loading Zone!"



Best,

Scott


Thank, RC, for the only real laugh that I've had all week.

NO!

You do not get special clues!
Thank you for NOT asking.... Huh?

English and Composition.

The first class I took to decide if I could earn a Degree.

I paid all of Tuition, Fees and book costs from my own pocket, Delivering Pizzas.

Now, here I am Today!

And,

Where will I be Tomorrow?

Where will you be tomorrow?

Where will any of us be tomorrow?

My Best,

Scott

"Welcome To The Club"

Standin' in the runway,
Wavin' at the plane...
There goes everything you own.
You called home collect
And they didn't know your name.
Starin' at the telephone....

You thought he was a doctor,
Now he says he's not,
But the voices seem to tell for sure.
And according to the symptoms
It isn't all you got;
A shame they haven't found a cure.

Didn't know the reason
You start to feel the rub
You know it isn't easy
Well, welcome to the club
Well, you thought they'd take it lightly

They're actin' kinda rash...
Caught you in a loadin' zone!
So they smile very politely,
Relieved you of your cash!
Suddenly you're all alone....

You play the double agent
You bug eachother's phone
You got the place surrounded
There ain't nobody home

It's gettin' hard to please 'em
You start to feel the rub
You know it isn't easy
Well, welcome to the club
Come on and join us in the club

 

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[AU24K]

Big Weekend ahead!

An online quiz, and the completion of Chapter 5.
A, B AND C.

All on this damned computer!

Sheesh!

By Monday's class.

Oh, Lord, Here I go again....



Enjoy your weekend!

Wish I could....

Best,

Scott

Dinner tonight?

Some of this....


with personal seasonings,
A "single" sushi roll, deep fried crab rangoons and just one cup of coffee. Weak. No sugar. Light cream.

Oh, and a candy bar....3 Musketeers!

A Perfect Evening!

I must sleep well tonight to be at my best tomorrow for what is known and that which is unknown.

 

[AU24K]

Big Weekend ahead!

An online quiz, and the completion of Chapter 5.
A, B AND C.

All on this damned computer!

Sheesh!

By Monday's class.

Oh, Lord, Here I go again....



Enjoy your weekend!

Wish I could....

Best,

Scott

Dinner tonight?

Some of this....

View attachment 1278049
with personal seasonings,
A "single" sushi roll, deep fried crab rangoons and just one cup of coffee. Weak. No sugar. Light cream.

Oh, and a candy bar....3 Musketeers!

A Perfect Evening!

I must sleep well tonight to be at my best tomorrow for what is known and that is unknown.

View attachment 1278051
"Three Musketeers?! I prefer 'Payday.' 'It's 'chocked' full of nuts!'"

[And.....what would your reply be?]

Perhaps.....

"Yeah, ya old goat. You're choked full of something!"

Ummm...

Perhaps I should be studyin' 'bout now....

and dinner is ready!

Best,

Scott

 

[Togreenfeet]

I need a break.....

 

[fowledup]

Scott- I'm a Snickers or PayDay guy, I use the "healthy" peanuts as my rationale of why it's ok to eat. Yep it's hypocrisy-lol. Like life it's all in the spin

 

[fowledup]

2GF - not making fun of you, I'm with ya. Your post was actually kind of humorous as it reminded me of a commercial that played out our way awhile back, the slogan was- "Need a break? You need Florida!" Not sure what all you need a brake from so I'll let you take that and do with it what you will, I'm not gonna say a thing- lol!

 

[releventchair]

I need a break.....

Kicks Like You Ain?t Never Seen: Van Halen?s Fair Warning Album and Tour | Van Halen News Desk
It won't let me copy the "give me a break" part and how it came to be.
Any way.
"One break ,comin up!"



"Unchained"

You said
I cannot get there from here, baby
And I don't care where I'm goin'
Here's to your thin red line
I'm stepping over
Thought you'd never miss me
'Til I got a Fat City address
Non-stop talker, what a rocker!
Blue eyed murder in a size 5 dress
Change, nothing stays the same
Unchained, yeah you hit the ground running
Change, and nothing stays the same
Unchained, yeah you hit the ground running
No, I don't ask for permission
This is my chance to fly
Maybe enough ain't enough for you
But it's my turn to try
Thought you'd never miss me
'Til I got a Fat City address
Non-stop talker, what a rocker!
Blue-eyed murder in a side-swiped dress
Change, nothing stays the same
Unchained, and ya hit the ground running
Change, and nothing stays the same
Unchained, yeah ya hit the ground running
Change, nothing stays the same
Unchained, and ya hit the ground running
Change, and nothing stays the same
Unchained, yeah ya hit the ground running
Take a look at this!
Hey, man, that suit is you!
You'll get some leg tonight for sure!
Tell us how you do!
(Come on, Dave, give me a break.)
Hey, hey, hey, hey, one break coming up!
Change, and nothing stays the same
Unchained, yeah ya hit the ground running
Change, and nothing stays the same
Unchained, yeah ya hit the ground running
Change, and nothing stays the same
Unchained, yeah ya hit the ground running
Change, and nothing stays the same
Unchained, yeah ya hit the ground running

 

[bill from lachine]

Folks,

Elvis - Why me lord.

 

[Togreenfeet]

Fowledup - let's see.... My son and former daughter in law threatening everyday to take my 9 y/o grandson I've raised since birth. A death in the family of my grandsons other Grandpa.....and I had to explain death to him and carry that weight, plus the death of a loved one. My truck being burglarized and they stole my grandsons ( both of them ) brand new baseball gloves, baseball bats, cleats, baseball bags, my GPS, my favorite knife......Totalling $1040.00.... Shall I go on? I sir need a break.......

 

[fowledup]

Fowledup - let's see.... My son and former daughter in law threatening everyday to take my 9 y/o grandson I've raised since birth. A death in the family of my grandsons other Grandpa.....and I had to explain death to him and carry that weight, plus the death of a loved one. My truck being burglarized and they stole my grandsons ( both of them ) brand new baseball gloves, baseball bats, cleats, baseball bags, my GPS, my favorite knife......Totalling $1040.00.... Shall I go on? I sir need a break.......

Yes you most certainly do, they say it always comes in three"s, so here's hoping that's true for you.

 

[dieselram94]

Fowledup - let's see.... My son and former daughter in law threatening everyday to take my 9 y/o grandson I've raised since birth. A death in the family of my grandsons other Grandpa.....and I had to explain death to him and carry that weight, plus the death of a loved one. My truck being burglarized and they stole my grandsons ( both of them ) brand new baseball gloves, baseball bats, cleats, baseball bags, my GPS, my favorite knife......Totalling $1040.00.... Shall I go on? I sir need a break.......

That really sucks! Did the cops get any leads on who did it?


Sent from a spun out toilet paper tube (one ply)!

 

[Togreenfeet]

I don't know. My dogs didn't bark. I'm a light sleeper....here's the thing. I last saw my truck at 11:15 pm. At 7:20 am I open the front door notice the truck doors are open and overhead light is still on. It didn't happen early night, it happened close to dawn or the battery would have been dead....

 

[Togreenfeet]

Get this, they did a DNA swab on the driver side door handle. I said. " excuse me, I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but I didn't steal my stuff. You'll find my DNA THERE. Why not swab the passenger side front and rear door handles inside and out? I found those doors open and I don't use the right rear door that much" His radio crackled and he said he had to leave there was a third burglary in our neighborhood....

 

[Togreenfeet]

On a GOOD NOTE my 13 year olds team beat the Heat today by 3 points to win the Championship! That team beat us before and was previously undefeated! Our guys just kept the man on man press on and they couldn't handle it. Really the Heat started arguing amongst themselves, too many superstars...... Too many individuals. Our boys played like a team. Our center, a very talented kid with asthma might I add made league MVP! You can overcome!!!! My boy made about 4 steals, 1-2 pointer, and 3-3 point shots . And although his last game can you believe his mother finally showed up !!!!!! Well off to baseball, one of my sports I excelled at!!!!!

 

[bill from lachine]

Folks,

Marta Altesa covering the bass playing on Every
time you go away.

 

[Togreenfeet]

My 9 y /o was invited to one of his baseball teammates birthday party today. We took grandma home after the basketball game, grabbed a few things and made the 4:30 party. I knew a lot of the folks there from years of baseball. All the kids were busy in the jump house, football or something. I was asked if I wanted anything to drink. Sure water.... What no alcohol? No thank you I'm fine. Oh I brought my playing cards. I was quiet just listening for awhile......didn't feel well..... Then I noticed most not all but most of the adults were tipsy! I pulled out the playing cards.... One card trick lead to another....I had them laughing their arses off. I had a good magic show for about an hour......worked great on drunks haha. That felt good, left them speechless but asking for more !!!!! I needed that

 

[bill from lachine]

Folks,

David Bowie + Robert Smith of the Cure - Quicksand....the recording is a bit sloppy but heh it is what it is

 

[fowledup]

My 9 y /o was invited to one of his baseball teammates birthday party today. We took grandma home after the basketball game, grabbed a few things and made the 4:30 party. I knew a lot of the folks there from years of baseball. All the kids were busy in the jump house, football or something. I was asked if I wanted anything to drink. Sure water.... What no alcohol? No thank you I'm fine. Oh I brought my playing cards. I was quiet just listening for awhile......didn't feel well..... Then I noticed most not all but most of the adults were tipsy! I pulled out the playing cards.... One card trick lead to another....I had them laughing their arses off. I had a good magic show for about an hour......worked great on drunks haha. That felt good, left them speechless but asking for more !!!!! I needed that

...............And a star is born! That's how it starts. Might be time to go to the next level with it.

 

[Togreenfeet]

Haha like I always say I'm an amateur's amateur...... Besides they were drunk which means they miss your mistakes and you really blow their minds easily. Why do you think Penn and Teller and Criss Angel perform in Vegas? Hahaha just kidding they are the best. But I also like David Blaine's street magic up close and personal, that's where it's at. Can't take away from Criss Angel though he also does street magic, but he doesn't call it that. These guys are the best..... What was Criss' show? Oh yeah Mind Freak. People say how did you do that? I say " it was a mind freak" haha thanks buddy

 

[Togreenfeet]

5 important qualities
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time,cleans up and has a job
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh
3. It's important to have a woman you can trust and doesn't lie to you
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes to be with you
5. It's very very important that these 4 women do not meet or know each other!

Today's humor........