Rebel - KGC
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Memphis, TN was a town FULL of KGC guys like Albert Pike...
Watchmen ??
- Thread starter GoldBack
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Memphis, TN was a town FULL of KGC guys like Albert Pike...
Rebel - KGC
Platinum Member
There was a HUGE KGC/CSA Depository near-by...
Rebel - KGC
Platinum Member
Smoky Mountains has LOTS of Melungeon SILVER MINES...
Rebel - KGC
Platinum Member
If you have a RAMPS Fest... YES! It IS possible that you have MELUNGEON Mines "in those hills".
Go to the RAMPS FEST, and LISTEN! I am Melungeon, and I LOVE RAMPS (aka Wild Onions).
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Rebel - KGC
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I'll try that Rebel, but the cousins get real hushed up when I'm around.
YEP! That's a CLUE!
Sis
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The Sentinels Wife
I believe I know where things went astray around here.
Remember, families with common names to this situation married into our family.
To keep the family name those folks were women, yet there are also married into kin who are men.
Well, unfortunately.
The last to take her turn - put her own spin into the works.
She was June born- A very clever Gemini.
* * *
I love my grandma dearly. She is my father’s mother and I know he loved her himself. I love her because; she is my grandmother - my father’s mother.
However, all my life I wondered why she was so dog gone mean and hateful to me especially, when no one else was about.
If I did not do, what she told me to do - she would whip me with a stitch full of leaves she would have me go cut. If the stitch was too short she would fuss about the switch being to short, while whipping me with it, and then make me go get another larger switch. Over and over again until - she was satisfied with a bigger switch or the redness of my skin.
She would make me do things that made no sense. She would tell me things that made no sense. Hurtful things - all along until she finally even graduated up to no sense hurtful things involving me being made to remove the lid from a roll boiling pressure cooker.
She would have me move things to cause granddaddy and daddy to become upset and to scold me or whip me. If I told them, she told me to do it - she would call me a liar and I probably got spanked for telling them that truth the first time. (I‘m a fast learner so, I never tried to claim my innocence again - to avoid getting an extra spanking and being called a liar.)
She would have me move things, while cleaning her house. She would give me things too, and then after my leaving she would tell everyone I stole those things. So, she named me a thief for following her personal (unknown to them) orders.
She began at an early age her attempts to brainwash me.
She would tell me things, say things to me I knew where wrong. However, I was left - there with her and had no choice but to stand, listen, and do whatever she wanted.
“Every thing that is wrong in this family is my fault. Everything.”
You name it - from the alcoholism to the abuse (of all the adults). All these little and terrible things were according to her (brainwashing) My Fault.
(* I am plumb shaking here, while writing this*)
It was my fault that my mom and dad fuss and fight.
It was my fault that my dad drank.
It was my fault this…
It was my fault that…
It was my fault that the mail lady was late.
“Every thing that is wrong in this family is my fault. Everything.”
This is what she would have you believe. This is what she taught me.
There were certain things, phrases that she would repeat to me about myself.
Her favorite and I think maybe even her first to me is:
“If you ever tell anyone, they won‘t believe you. They will believe me. They will believe anything I tell them.”
Next in line will be:
“You might be a pretty thing, but no one will ever love you.”
* * *
Oh Lord, My God - My head was so full her of crap - not to mention my heart broken and my soul sullied as well as my good name, since she told so many untrue things about me to any who would listen.
(Thank goodness, most knew her better than I did already. I suppose they never considered what she would really do when she was alone with me.)
I began reading self-help books when I was 13 years old.
* * *
Bless her heart.
She loved to pit one of her boys or any of us against the other.
I suppose if I could paint just one picture of her it would be that of a little girl standing toes close to an ant bed - with a stick in her hand - stirring the ant bed - screaming and crying because the ants are biting her. All the while, denying her responsibility of the deed.
* * *
Now, to more symbolic things that have just made some sense to me and its mind blowing to think that someone would go to such lengths.
So, bluntly - Before she died she had a surgeon remove her right eye for no reason. The aunt who was driving her back and forth happen to catch the surgeon, while grandma was being prepped for surgery and she asked him what was wrong with grandma’s eye and he said, “There is nothing wrong with her eye. She wants it out, I‘m taking it out.”
I thought about it and then I asked mom. She says the eye that was taken out was the right eye - that is what I think too.
Interesting, isn't it?
*shew*
(…actually, it‘s sickening…)
I believe I know where things went astray around here.
Remember, families with common names to this situation married into our family.
To keep the family name those folks were women, yet there are also married into kin who are men.
Well, unfortunately.
The last to take her turn - put her own spin into the works.
She was June born- A very clever Gemini.
* * *
I love my grandma dearly. She is my father’s mother and I know he loved her himself. I love her because; she is my grandmother - my father’s mother.
However, all my life I wondered why she was so dog gone mean and hateful to me especially, when no one else was about.
If I did not do, what she told me to do - she would whip me with a stitch full of leaves she would have me go cut. If the stitch was too short she would fuss about the switch being to short, while whipping me with it, and then make me go get another larger switch. Over and over again until - she was satisfied with a bigger switch or the redness of my skin.
She would make me do things that made no sense. She would tell me things that made no sense. Hurtful things - all along until she finally even graduated up to no sense hurtful things involving me being made to remove the lid from a roll boiling pressure cooker.
She would have me move things to cause granddaddy and daddy to become upset and to scold me or whip me. If I told them, she told me to do it - she would call me a liar and I probably got spanked for telling them that truth the first time. (I‘m a fast learner so, I never tried to claim my innocence again - to avoid getting an extra spanking and being called a liar.)
She would have me move things, while cleaning her house. She would give me things too, and then after my leaving she would tell everyone I stole those things. So, she named me a thief for following her personal (unknown to them) orders.
She began at an early age her attempts to brainwash me.
She would tell me things, say things to me I knew where wrong. However, I was left - there with her and had no choice but to stand, listen, and do whatever she wanted.
“Every thing that is wrong in this family is my fault. Everything.”
You name it - from the alcoholism to the abuse (of all the adults). All these little and terrible things were according to her (brainwashing) My Fault.
(* I am plumb shaking here, while writing this*)
It was my fault that my mom and dad fuss and fight.
It was my fault that my dad drank.
It was my fault this…
It was my fault that…
It was my fault that the mail lady was late.
“Every thing that is wrong in this family is my fault. Everything.”
This is what she would have you believe. This is what she taught me.
There were certain things, phrases that she would repeat to me about myself.
Her favorite and I think maybe even her first to me is:
“If you ever tell anyone, they won‘t believe you. They will believe me. They will believe anything I tell them.”
Next in line will be:
“You might be a pretty thing, but no one will ever love you.”
* * *
Oh Lord, My God - My head was so full her of crap - not to mention my heart broken and my soul sullied as well as my good name, since she told so many untrue things about me to any who would listen.
(Thank goodness, most knew her better than I did already. I suppose they never considered what she would really do when she was alone with me.)
I began reading self-help books when I was 13 years old.
* * *
Bless her heart.
She loved to pit one of her boys or any of us against the other.
I suppose if I could paint just one picture of her it would be that of a little girl standing toes close to an ant bed - with a stick in her hand - stirring the ant bed - screaming and crying because the ants are biting her. All the while, denying her responsibility of the deed.
* * *
Now, to more symbolic things that have just made some sense to me and its mind blowing to think that someone would go to such lengths.
So, bluntly - Before she died she had a surgeon remove her right eye for no reason. The aunt who was driving her back and forth happen to catch the surgeon, while grandma was being prepped for surgery and she asked him what was wrong with grandma’s eye and he said, “There is nothing wrong with her eye. She wants it out, I‘m taking it out.”
I thought about it and then I asked mom. She says the eye that was taken out was the right eye - that is what I think too.
Interesting, isn't it?
*shew*
(…actually, it‘s sickening…)
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Shortstack
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Welcome back, Sis. I'm glad you're doing well. Keep purging your mind and soul of all that garbage and you'll feel light years better.
About her having the right eye removed.........isn't there a passage in the Bible about..."if thy right eye offenses thee, pluck it out?" Maybe she was doing some kind of "purging" of her own.
About her having the right eye removed.........isn't there a passage in the Bible about..."if thy right eye offenses thee, pluck it out?" Maybe she was doing some kind of "purging" of her own.
Rebel - KGC
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Yes, WB! I AGREE WITH Ss... and franklin.
Sis
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The Sentinels Wife
Hello Shortstack, franklin and Reb, Thank you for the thoughtful sentiments and WB.
I never understood it as a child or young girl growing up. Mother’s mother was as kind and loving as an angel on earth.
Yet, this grandmother was so harmfully different.
Fortunately, for her I strongly inherited my ancestral mother’s bloodline, mind, heart and soul. For, even as hard as the burden, she laid upon my shoulders - mind, heart and soul - I do love her - she is my father’s mother. I love her: however, bless her heart - even though she may present you a doting face in all actuality she was not such a likable person for me…and I find that last part so sad. Nevertheless, I would definitely stand strong between you and her to protect her from any harm.
Even as cruel, as she was to me I was in return just that good to her. Maybe, that is why she was constant and determined to subdue me with her mind games.
She had five sons the first the true heir. He carries his father’s name.
She wanted a girl. To have the girl meant more means of maneuvering and expanding her possession of it all. Having both the true heir and the heiress would be most fortunate, would it not?
However, thankfully I waited just beyond the veil of birth. I was not meant to be her daughter. I was meant to be my grandfather’s granddaughter.
I’ve done a bit of research. I know who I am now - or how as the girl/female I am to be. I am a golden ray of starlight. I am a sister to the other stars and their colorful lights. I hold a key inside me, a key to more than the treasures on earth can compare. However, I am just part of the game/puzzle. I fit, but without the others, nothing is complete.
I’ve gone through some rough thoughts on being a pawn. (Use the thesaurus for other words for pawn - I just did because I wanted to make sure I was using the right word and I have.) I think when this life is over - I will be glad to sit down with the real Thomas Jefferson and Albert Pike, and let them know how their plan may have been tweaked a bit so that, the stars were not left in darkness without the benefit of proper teaching considerations as well as true and loving care.
At the moment of her death I was sitting in my car, driving. The exact spot was in the middle of an overpass - another highway below me - forming a crossroads. At that very moment, it felt as if someone had lifted 100 pounds off my shoulders and me. She came to mind at that same time - I covered with goose-flesh, and I knew. I was on my way to mother’s. When I opened the door, she said, “Aunt T called, Your grandma‘s dead.” I said, “I know.” She asks, “How do you know, she just died?” I told her I just knew and then she had me tell her what I just told you.
If you add up the total of both those highway numbers at the crossroads, they equal 8.
* * *
I've got to go for now; but will be back later. There is something I wish to address concerning fraklin's reply.
Hello Shortstack, franklin and Reb, Thank you for the thoughtful sentiments and WB.
I never understood it as a child or young girl growing up. Mother’s mother was as kind and loving as an angel on earth.
Yet, this grandmother was so harmfully different.
Fortunately, for her I strongly inherited my ancestral mother’s bloodline, mind, heart and soul. For, even as hard as the burden, she laid upon my shoulders - mind, heart and soul - I do love her - she is my father’s mother. I love her: however, bless her heart - even though she may present you a doting face in all actuality she was not such a likable person for me…and I find that last part so sad. Nevertheless, I would definitely stand strong between you and her to protect her from any harm.
Even as cruel, as she was to me I was in return just that good to her. Maybe, that is why she was constant and determined to subdue me with her mind games.
She had five sons the first the true heir. He carries his father’s name.
She wanted a girl. To have the girl meant more means of maneuvering and expanding her possession of it all. Having both the true heir and the heiress would be most fortunate, would it not?
However, thankfully I waited just beyond the veil of birth. I was not meant to be her daughter. I was meant to be my grandfather’s granddaughter.
I’ve done a bit of research. I know who I am now - or how as the girl/female I am to be. I am a golden ray of starlight. I am a sister to the other stars and their colorful lights. I hold a key inside me, a key to more than the treasures on earth can compare. However, I am just part of the game/puzzle. I fit, but without the others, nothing is complete.
I’ve gone through some rough thoughts on being a pawn. (Use the thesaurus for other words for pawn - I just did because I wanted to make sure I was using the right word and I have.) I think when this life is over - I will be glad to sit down with the real Thomas Jefferson and Albert Pike, and let them know how their plan may have been tweaked a bit so that, the stars were not left in darkness without the benefit of proper teaching considerations as well as true and loving care.
At the moment of her death I was sitting in my car, driving. The exact spot was in the middle of an overpass - another highway below me - forming a crossroads. At that very moment, it felt as if someone had lifted 100 pounds off my shoulders and me. She came to mind at that same time - I covered with goose-flesh, and I knew. I was on my way to mother’s. When I opened the door, she said, “Aunt T called, Your grandma‘s dead.” I said, “I know.” She asks, “How do you know, she just died?” I told her I just knew and then she had me tell her what I just told you.
If you add up the total of both those highway numbers at the crossroads, they equal 8.
* * *
I've got to go for now; but will be back later. There is something I wish to address concerning fraklin's reply.
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Sis
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I’m sure she had her own plans in mind. Anyone who knew my grandparents and their children would tell you that granddaddy had 3 boys and she had two.
Granddaddy’s boys they say; are my dad, Uncle G and Uncle Y. Her two boys are Uncle T and Uncle M. I believe this is so since, the appearance of allegiances did run that way amongst them.
I have come to realize now that the reason she was as she was; was because she wanted to run the rest of us off…and she did. I wish I’d have understood all this at least this much when I was growing up - I believe things would have been right if not manipulated by this female Gemini stirrings. However, it is not and that is terribly saddening.
Franklin, you are right I am sure. However, a light under a bushel can still shine. She showed them who she is. I’ve shown them who I am.
There are some things I remember, and there are some things still buried in the depths of my mind. Anything she would have shown me is gone - even the structure is gone or pillaged, falling down and decaying now. Anything she knew I am sure T & M knew too. Even today, passing any place where those buildings stood breaks my heart to see them gone or in such a state of decay.
Even if they did not really understand, they knew about the things I would see and hear that they could not or would not because, as a child, I would of course, tell them. It is these things I think she must have been afraid of too since, she would say and have someone believe I was a liar or just crazy.
It took a long time for me to be able to stop the tape she had playing in my mind that caused lots of doubt in myself and depression. I was grown when I realized the things she would tell me about myself were a form of brainwashing and I had to learn how to control those damaging thoughts - sometimes, I still fight with them; but it is a bit better now being an adult and knowing better and no longer having to suffer the continual demeaning experiences.
I suppose now as has been along while being here that this might also trigger some more memories. I’ll take the time to meditate upon this and see what comes forth.
Thank you for listening as well as triggering things I need to remember or inspiring me to go find more info that helps make all this make sense.
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Rebel - KGC
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The number "8" stands for SOLID FOUNDATION; "4" is FOUNDATION... "8" is added second floor of a house. Hmmm... What does "8" of HEARTS card mean to you, "HIERO"...?
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Sis
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i went searching for the meaning of 8. It means a lot of things; but, the thing that stands out to me most in the explanation is that 8 means Balance.
The 8 of Hearts/Cups is a relationship card - a card that can express a type of controlling relationship.
It's an odd place to be when you realize someone you love is gone, while the weight of the burden is somewhat lifted. It was at that moment at the crossroads I realized just how much of an influence she had been in my life - even if I couldn't remember everything, especially not knowing why as i do now...
Rebel - KGC
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"8" of HEARTS also mean... "Unexpected visit(s), unexpected gift(s)". COULD be the "lifting of burdens"; "getting back" YOUR land/property... dunno. Learn from YOUR Past; PLAN for YOUR future. THE CUP... is it half-empty or half full...? Empty from cup the "pains" of YOUR past, make room for BLESSINGS for YOUR future; focus on FULL Cup of BLESSINGS.
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Sis
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Both comments hold good and interesting ideas and things to consider.
I believe one of my missions on this earth to this family is in a healing capacity. I also know from dreams as a child that one of my missions may be that of protecting them as well. A strange recurring childhood dream I've not thought of or had in a very long time.
*We (family members) are gathered together in a group by a stranger or strangers. I never see the strangers face. It's like i'm looking at us through their eyes. I see my family, I see myself a very small child. I'm not sure what the problem is but; i sense the danger of being shot down - all of us. And then, inside me arises something stronger than any thing or any person in the dream. i step out of the crowd and into the front line - and I say, "If you want to kill someone, kill me and leave them be." and then I wake up covered in goose flesh bumps with a feeling of electricity running through me.*
It's strange and bizarre for a small child recurring dream.
However, I think all along i have know that death is only a step in the path of life. Killing me would only free my spirit - it would do nothing to really stop me - I'd keep going on...
I liked the other recurring dream better - that of living in a castle with a spiral staircase and the city just outside door - only that one wakes me up crying because it eventually shows me my death on those stairs as my hem got caught in my shoes going down them. In this dream, I think I may have been French. I believe this dream is a past life dream.
Anyway, the meaning of 8 is interesting. I know there are things there that she may not have know about (the things he showed me in spirit form - the things they all said that was not out there. The box and book under the tree.). I hope he (T) doesn't know either - though the last time I checked Google it looks like the sand bed has gotten bigger.
Can a man-made sand bed get bigger on it's own? If it were getting bigger would it mean that someone is emptying the sand from the bed itself or would it mean that someone is emptying the bed from the other end? Or would it mean that over time the sand will just sink deeper?
It seems odd that looking about a month or so before that the sandbed is not as big and then the last time the bed looks bigger and darker.
Also, Crossroads have lots of meanings too. Some i found here.
So, the crossroad intersection where I was when grandma died places me between the worlds in a metaphysical perspective.
I'll try to remember some more of the things she use to say or do. She always made a point to mention not touching Granddaddy's pipe in the closet. So, I'll do my best to recall anything else and hopefully, things will come to me.
I believe one of my missions on this earth to this family is in a healing capacity. I also know from dreams as a child that one of my missions may be that of protecting them as well. A strange recurring childhood dream I've not thought of or had in a very long time.
*We (family members) are gathered together in a group by a stranger or strangers. I never see the strangers face. It's like i'm looking at us through their eyes. I see my family, I see myself a very small child. I'm not sure what the problem is but; i sense the danger of being shot down - all of us. And then, inside me arises something stronger than any thing or any person in the dream. i step out of the crowd and into the front line - and I say, "If you want to kill someone, kill me and leave them be." and then I wake up covered in goose flesh bumps with a feeling of electricity running through me.*
It's strange and bizarre for a small child recurring dream.
However, I think all along i have know that death is only a step in the path of life. Killing me would only free my spirit - it would do nothing to really stop me - I'd keep going on...
I liked the other recurring dream better - that of living in a castle with a spiral staircase and the city just outside door - only that one wakes me up crying because it eventually shows me my death on those stairs as my hem got caught in my shoes going down them. In this dream, I think I may have been French. I believe this dream is a past life dream.
Anyway, the meaning of 8 is interesting. I know there are things there that she may not have know about (the things he showed me in spirit form - the things they all said that was not out there. The box and book under the tree.). I hope he (T) doesn't know either - though the last time I checked Google it looks like the sand bed has gotten bigger.
Can a man-made sand bed get bigger on it's own? If it were getting bigger would it mean that someone is emptying the sand from the bed itself or would it mean that someone is emptying the bed from the other end? Or would it mean that over time the sand will just sink deeper?
It seems odd that looking about a month or so before that the sandbed is not as big and then the last time the bed looks bigger and darker.
Also, Crossroads have lots of meanings too. Some i found here.
So, the crossroad intersection where I was when grandma died places me between the worlds in a metaphysical perspective.
I'll try to remember some more of the things she use to say or do. She always made a point to mention not touching Granddaddy's pipe in the closet. So, I'll do my best to recall anything else and hopefully, things will come to me.
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Shortstack
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Sis:
Did she ever strictly forbid you to go anywhere specific on the farm?
Did she ever strictly forbid you to go anywhere specific on the farm?
Sis
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I know exactly what you are talking about.
Only it was her who insisted we go play there as children. (not a daily thing, just ever so often)
She would tell us to go play there, knowing he would soon be home, and then when Granddaddy found us we'd all get in trouble. (We all knew not to play there. It would get us into trouble. But, when you are alone with grandma and she tells you to go do something you sure better do it.) (We were small and could not tell time; but she could.)
I remember standing and getting in trouble along with the other kids, and I could see her standing at the window behind him grinning like a possum. (Would have done no use to tell him she was there - she'd say different.)
The structure is gone now. It was torn down. Which puzzled me when I saw it gone. Actually, it made me sick to my stomach to see it gone. Sad really. There was nothing wrong with it when he died, he kept his things up.
It was very small, tight and compact. Sturdy built and inconspicuous - hardly anything anyone else may notice.
I'd never been any further than the front door and that was as a child standing behind my dad who was in the doorway speaking to granddaddy who was inside.
The strange thing about it is at that time - even though i was outside and it was dark inside - lit up dimly by kerosene lantern - I Knew it was much bigger than it appeared. It just felt bigger.
I wondered about that; and not mentioned it. Now, I know for sure that what I thought of it as a small child was right.
Thanks ShortStack
Only it was her who insisted we go play there as children. (not a daily thing, just ever so often)
She would tell us to go play there, knowing he would soon be home, and then when Granddaddy found us we'd all get in trouble. (We all knew not to play there. It would get us into trouble. But, when you are alone with grandma and she tells you to go do something you sure better do it.) (We were small and could not tell time; but she could.)
I remember standing and getting in trouble along with the other kids, and I could see her standing at the window behind him grinning like a possum. (Would have done no use to tell him she was there - she'd say different.)
The structure is gone now. It was torn down. Which puzzled me when I saw it gone. Actually, it made me sick to my stomach to see it gone. Sad really. There was nothing wrong with it when he died, he kept his things up.
It was very small, tight and compact. Sturdy built and inconspicuous - hardly anything anyone else may notice.
I'd never been any further than the front door and that was as a child standing behind my dad who was in the doorway speaking to granddaddy who was inside.
The strange thing about it is at that time - even though i was outside and it was dark inside - lit up dimly by kerosene lantern - I Knew it was much bigger than it appeared. It just felt bigger.
I wondered about that; and not mentioned it. Now, I know for sure that what I thought of it as a small child was right.
Thanks ShortStack
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Sis
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A thought just occurred:
Is is possible that that tiny structure could somehow be connected to the sand bed?
Is is possible that that tiny structure could somehow be connected to the sand bed?
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