Ahhh....the shame of it all! I can *never* be a pirate or a piratess. For ya see, mateys, I doesn't drinks! Never have, except for two separate times about half a century ago. All my "friends" were touting what fun they had on their latest binge.
The same "friends" who were completely shocked when I admitted to not drinking. They, (knowing all the grief I've had all my life), all said, "***YOU***!?!?!? DONT DRINK!?!

Of all the people I've known, YOU should be that one who drinks a LOT!!!
Anyway, on those two occasions, I'd just decided to try getting drunk. See just what I was missing. All I recall of the first one was that I got very, very sleepy! A year or two later, being down once more. I decided that maybe I did it wrong last time. So I tried again. I got dizzy, fell down a lot, couldn't think or see straight. I said, "So what!? I get this dizzy, fall down, etc etc....when I don't drink!" I've never been back. Lucky? I guess.
Ah well....to each their own.
Sometime, when you're bored, ask me about my not smoking either. I have another funny story about that one.
Enjoy yourself folks! Life's just too short!