THE INJURY THREAD. Post your wounds here.

[BigWaveDave]

Sorry Bill...just noticed it...spell check got me on that one.

 

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[Limitool]

Don't want to forget, or leave anyone out....Thankyou all for making this a fun ride!

I have a lifetime of doozies...instead of posting a long story, it would take pages to list them all....
But let me start with my first "injury".... Stay tuned, this is gonna make you shake your head.

It can't be any worse then shooting holes in your late fathers once "prized boat" can it... !!!! The title of this thread should have included PRIDE - STUPIDY - ALONG WITH PHYSICAL INJURY! Sometimes that pride thing hurts worse then the physical ones. But that's where I'm at right now.... And when I picked the boat up from the depression to move it that's when I found the LARGE pissed off snake. Let's let that go.... that thread was destroyed.

 

[BigWaveDave]

so, I was wondering what happened to that thread...
Moving along....

 

[kingskid1611]

I have never laughed so hard at some of these stories. My wife thinks I'm crazy but I can actually relate to the ones from the 80's. My friends and I at about age 12 were at his dads salvage yard, b b guns out and shooting out windows in old cars. yes we had permission. Anyway at some point in our "play" we thought it a good idea to shoot each other. I received a b b in a place that guys don't like to be hit. yes all you guys can guess that one. I was doubled over for awhile and we decided not to shoot anything anymore.

 

[BigWaveDave]

Another one of my moms favorite stories...
When I was about 2 years old, I smelled.
Not like a body odor, but like rotting breath....like something dead was up inside me. Nobody could figure out why
I smelled so bad. Weeks went by, and it got worse...
Finally, I was brought to a Doctor, he couldn't figure it out....off to a specialist in Boston, one of those big hospitals....
Diagnosis?
At some point I had stuck a piece of foam rubber, like from a pillow...up my nose. It was up there so deep, like between my throat and brain, and was decaying.
I guess that was the beginning of my fascination of sticking things in my nose....mostly just my finger these days.

 

[Limitool]

I have never laughed so hard at some of these stories. My wife thinks I'm crazy but I can actually relate to the ones from the 80's. My friends and I at about age 12 were at his dads salvage yard, b b guns out and shooting out windows in old cars. yes we had permission. Anyway at some point in our "play" we thought it a good idea to shoot each other. I received a b b in a place that guys don't like to be hit. yes all you guys can guess that one. I was doubled over for awhile and we decided not to shoot anything anymore.

This will NEVER end.... Your bb story brought this back. I'm sitting on a small front porch with my cousin and we each have a daisy bb gun in hand (mid 60's). We're both about 10-12 y/o. Grandma asks my younger sister to go check for the mail. So down the driveway she goes. It's about a 100yd. downward trip to the mailbox. Now Chuck and I couldn't hit anything with these guns outside of 10ft. But @ the time no birds, lizards or critters were in sight... only my sister walking away to the mailbox. Chuck says..."I bet ya can't hit her in the back". REALLY....? Now she was WAY OUT OF RANGE and I just knew I wouldn't hit her. She had to be at least 35-45+yds. away! I fired one shot and no reaction... so I cock the gun again, raise way up and let loose. The moment I fired she turns, looks at us and says... QUIT IT NOW! That second bb hit her right between the nose and upper lip when she turned around. And my cousin starts yelling... WHAT A SHOT!!!! GOOD SHOT!!!!

Damn did I get a ass whuppin that night.... I mean one of the good ole' fashion ones!!!! Lost my gun and things weren't the same for about 3 days.

 

[kingskid1611]

This will NEVER end.... Your bb story brought this back. I'm sitting on a small front porch with my cousin and we each have a daisy bb gun in hand (mid 60's). We're both about 10-12 y/o. Grandma asks my younger sister to go check for the mail. So down the driveway she goes. It's about a 100yd. downward trip to the mailbox. Now Chuck and I couldn't hit anything with these guns outside of 10ft. But @ the time no birds, lizards or critters were in sight... only my sister walking away to the mailbox. Chuck says..."I bet ya can't hit her in the back". REALLY....? Now she was WAY OUT OF RANGE and I just knew I wouldn't hit her. She had to be at least 35-45+yds. away! I fired one shot and no reaction... so I cock the gun again, raise way up and let loose. The moment I fired she turns, looks at us and says... QUIT IT NOW! That second bb hit her right between the nose and upper lip when she turned around. And my cousin starts yelling... WHAT A SHOT!!!! GOOD SHOT!!!!

Damn did I get a ass whuppin that night.... I mean one of the good ole' fashion ones!!!! Lost my gun and things weren't the same for about 3 days.

I remember messing with them sisters. I had a boiling pan of water dumped on me at 9 years old while messing with my little sister who was boiling eggs. Another time years later I had a butter knife sticking out of my upper arm about an inch from the same sister. lol yep I love messing with them sisters. Still have scars from picking on them.

 

[kcm]

In high school I raided my friends kitchen during a sleepover...those weren't Ding Dongs, I had never heard of Funnybones before, that was a close one...

I've never heard of them either, but I think someone dedicated these to you Dave:
https://www.pinterest.com/vlknh/home-made-funny-bones-for-dave/

 

[BigWaveDave]

That ain't right.

 

[kcm]

...Don't know if l like the idea of telling all the just plain STUPID things - this thread would end up with thousands more pages...and that's just ME!! ...Let's stick to the ones that involve skin and/or blood.

As for shooting the house, that raccoon ended up being BY FAR the largest I'd ever seen. It was the size of a VERY overweight.....hmm, let's try this. Remember watching cartoons and some character would blow up huge and then float in the air, whilst some kid would grab the tail and hold on like a balloon? (am remembering Pink Panther here....."MY" hero!! ) Well, imagine a full-grown German Shepherd in such a predicament. That's how huge this coon was! I went out that night thinking it might be a bear.

As for the shot, that happened when I fell through the hole. My finger was "loosely" on the trigger, but my hand seemed to have some strange sort of contraction when my leg went through the deck, and I went down not knowing if that "bear" was under the deck and gonna rip it off completely! Had no idea I'd fired into the house until the wife said she heard something. We looked up and, sure 'nuff, there was a tiny hole with a little plaster missing right up in the highest corner of the outer wall of the Living Room. If the shot had hit any higher, it never would have been visible. Never did find an exit hole upstairs, so guess the bullet is lodged somewhere in the wood of this old house.....SOMEWHERE!

 

[kcm]

That ain't right.

Did a web search for "funny bones dessert" and that was the FIRST result!

 

[Limitool]

I remember messing with them sisters. I had a boiling pan of water dumped on me at 9 years old while messing with my little sister who was boiling eggs. Another time years later I had a butter knife sticking out of my upper arm about an inch from the same sister. lol yep I love messing with them sisters. Still have scars from picking on them.

Ok, as long as you and I are doing the "sister" thing... here's another one. I had twin sisters 2 years younger than I. We had all finished supper and it was my turn to wash dishes (sucked). But Lisa had to dry. She couldn't dry as fast as I could wash so I grabbed a dishtowel and started helping her to make room. Anyway.... she tried her best to twist the wet towel and snap me with it. Total failure!!!! Here's how you DO IT!!! I twisted the wet towel up and snapped it at her upper exposed left leg (she had shorts on). I mean IT SNAPPED LOUD... and she hit the floor and the blood went flying.

I didn't know this was possible. Anyway here comes my mom and dad with her on the ground SCREAMING and blood everywhere. I laid her leg wide open almost 3" long and deep! Dad says "What the hell happened?" I said I snapped her with a towel.... I got another one for the ages ass whuppin... who the hell would of thought that was possible...?

 

[The Dirt Pirate]

Do injuries that happened when I was a kid count for this?

 

[BigWaveDave]

Laughing at the one for the age ass whuppin line....been there

 

[BigWaveDave]

Do injuries that happened when I was a kid count for this?

Bring it!

 

[kingskid1611]

Laughing at the one for the age ass whuppin line....been there

I been there a lot and usually the buckle of the belt got in a few welps.....

 

[The Dirt Pirate]

Well I've had a ton of injuries. I've already talked about one of them. When I was about 12 or 13 I was riding my bike and I was headed to Wal Mart and as soon as I turned up into the Wal Mart parking lot this car came flying out of nowhere and slammed right into me. I went flying over the top of the car and my bike ended up flying over the top of me and I slammed into the pavement and my bike came down on the back of my head knocking me out cold. When I woke up I was in the hospital. I was messed up pretty bad from that. It took me a while to be able to walk again. I think if I remember right I was in the hospital for at least a few months because they wouldn't let me leave until I was able to walk and do everything else normally. I ended up finding out that the car that hit me was some idiot running from the police.

 

[kcm]

That "snap" you hear? That's when the tip of your towel (or whip, as is normally the case) is moving faster than the speed of sound. Your wet towel broke the sound barrier!

 

[The Dirt Pirate]

About 6 or 7 years ago I had been to the scrap yard with my uncle and where we lived at that time it was about an hour to the nearest scrap yard so we were headed back to the town we lived in (he would always come by and pick me up when he went to the scrap yard because he said I am a human tank) and he decided to go down the back road for some reason and probably 10 miles from town the rear passenger side tire popped and the next thing I knew my uncle's face slammed into the windshield and we were flipping through the air. We must have rolled a dozen times before we finally came to a stop on the driver side of the blazer (probably 6 inches from a tree.) and I immediately jumped out and tossed my uncle out and started walking toward town before realizing that my right leg felt weird and that's when I looked down and noticed that my pants had blood on them so I stopped to check and that's when I noticed that the bone was sticking out of my skin in my shin. I couldn't feel a thing because I was all amped up from the accident.

 

[Turbo21]

I'll bump the thread

Here is my post op picture. Fusion of l5-s1 vertabrae. This was my third back surgery. Fist 2 didn't help. Been 4 years since this surgery and I am very lucky that I have. Almost no pain

Original injury came from getting head on by a drunk driver. He was doing 75 and I was doing 60. Wasn't a pretty site

This is my lower back