Well,...this won't be easy, but as it is help that I seek, I'll do what marky said and just be honest.
Most of what I type is just fluff, hoping that anyone will respond.
Why ?
Because I have been sad to the point of crying myself to sleep since I was very young.
I'm completely shattered and broken inside and feel utterly and completely hopeless that I can find my way through this.
I used to want to be able to function for myself. Now my wife is pulling more than she should.
It has left me incapacitated mentally.
I gave up when I left here four years ago.
For whatever reason I stayed physically in this torment for four years.
I didn't even lurk!
Just stopped by at Christmas and New year's to say hello to that digital brother.
Leaving here because I couldn't tolerate bullies! that came along with the help.
Almost ended myself over it.
I can't help that I can't learn certain things to save my own life!
Yeah..I gave up..but because of that eidetic memory that I am cursed/blessed with... I remembered the kindness of relatively random strangers here and I told myself...it is better than the alternative!
I'm not actually looking for anyone.
This engagement of my mind is a critically important therapy for me.
I've no other option than seek out the one person who truly understands me!
He has many furry critter friends who all but worship his knowledge base!
I miss him dearly.
Happiness is an elusive unicorn!
I'd gouge out my own eyes if I believed for even a second that it would bring me happiness.
I'm not delusional.
Mike
Ware chasing a will o the wisp. Sometimes you get close , only to find it moved.
And what if you get near enough to touch it? Now the chase is over , even if there is a better understanding.
Bearing others burdens...when you have your own?
Lyrics
Boy, you gotta carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time
Boy, you gonna carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time
I never give you my pillow
I only send you my invitation
And in the middle of the celebrations
I break down
Boy, you gotta carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time
Boy, you gotta carry that weight
You're gonna carry that weight along time
Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul Mccartney
Carry That Weight lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Lyrics
You never give me your money
You only give me your funny paper
And in the middle of negotiations
You break down
I never give you my number
I only give you my situation
And in the middle of investigation
I break down
Out of college, money spent
See no future, pay no rent
All the money's gone,
Any jobber got the sack
Monday morning, turning back
Yellow lorry slow, nowhere to go
But oh, that magic feeling, nowhere to go
Oh, that magic feeling
Nowhere to go, nowhere to go
One sweet dream
Pick up the bags and get in the limousine
Soon we'll be away from here
Step on the gas and wipe that tear away
One sweet dream came true today
Came true today
Came true today (yes, it did)
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven
All good children go to Heaven
Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul Mccartney
You Never Give Me Your Money lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC