CRISPINS CRITTERS

Punks don't seem to like those warning citations upside the head.....They did not try for more. L.o.l..
 

Update: My wife said this is a Pecan Tree. I can't get anything right. All I can say is NUTS.
tree1.jpg
 

I saw this ad and it got me thinking, maybe there is one out there somewhere cheep. The ad is from 1954. Anyone got one of these for sale?
s-l500 (1).jpg
 

I hope the Dr. in in! I was five years old when I first realized I was in love. That was sixty-seven years a go. My grandmother made me a Superman cape and I was flying around my house. The little girl from up the street saw me and came over and wanted to use my cape. I said no and she ran away crying and I felt so bad, I cut it up, because I thought I would never see her again. She moved away and I never saw her again. When I was six, I fell in love again. Her father was rich and she was not allowed to come anywhere around me and put her in a private school. She later married one guy with the same last name as mine, but not related to me. That did not work out so she divorced him and married his brother. Now sixty-five years later she finds me on Facebook and says she loves me, send me $30,000.00. What should I do?
 

The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he'd like a bottle of Chanel #5 for his wife's birthday.

"A little surprise, eh?" smiled the clerk.

"You bet," answered the customer. "She's expecting a cruise."
 

Well Johnny....... I can tell when most women are lying........ their mouth is moving!!! Hell I’ll say I love you too for 30 Grand!!!!!! Haha RUN buddy, Run
 

Hehe she’s off on a cruise AGAIN!!!! I just ordered a Garrett Propointer Underwater Pinpointer....... dang grandkids lost my last one. It wasn’t waterproof though..........
 

45th_Johnny said:
I hope the Dr. in in! I was five years old when I first realized I was in love. That was sixty-seven years a go. My grandmother made me a Superman cape and I was flying around my house. The little girl from up the street saw me and came over and wanted to use my cape. I said no and she ran away crying and I felt so bad, I cut it up, because I thought I would never see her again. She moved away and I never saw her again. When I was six, I fell in love again. Her father was rich and she was not allowed to come anywhere around me and put her in a private school. She later married one guy with the same last name as mine, but not related to me. That did not work out so she divorced him and married his brother. Now sixty-five years later she finds me on Facebook and says she loves me, send me $30,000.00. What should I do?
Click to expand...

You might , get fitted for another cape. Enjoy it , and just leave the girls to the wolves. (?)
 

Togreenfeet said:
My wife hasn’t been feeling good. She said the Doctor said she can’t have sex. Now you know that’s a lie....... so I said “ well what did the dentist say?”............ hehe
Click to expand...

True Story.

A few years ago, I was employed as armed security on the midnight to 8 am shift.
I had a dentist appointment at 9am when I got off work.
I didn't have time to change from my uniform including a full belt of handcuffs, mace and a .38.

As I climbed into the Dentist's chair, the Dentist standing beside me, I unsnapped the holster of my .38 and said,
"I'll bet this ain't gonna hurt a bit, is it?"
His eyes got big and he offered me Valiums, Gas, the receptionist.....

Yeah, I was once young and crazy.
Now I'm just older....


Best,

Scott
 

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Yesterday, at work, I was called to Shannon's office.

The walk to his office made me think, "Whom have I pissed off?"
"What have I done wrong?"
Soon, I found myself outside his door, applying my knuckle to gain entry.

He said, "Come on, Scott."

I walked up to his desk and said, "What do you need, Boss?"

He said, "The company safe is having issues. You can take care of it, right?"

I smiled and said, "Absolutely!"
I told him that it appeared to me that the mechanism required a 9 volt battery and that might be the problem.
He then said, "You can take care of the PM on the safe from now on?"
I said, "You got it, Boss!"
I know this safe because it has become part of my Friday responsibility to take cash from the guard shacks from Safety Vest sales to the safe.

I went to the safe and it was an older "dial" one that had obviously been retrofitted with a "La Gard" digital keypad.

lagard_combo-700x715.png


I had taken a couple of AA, AAA and a 9 volt battery with me.


I pulled the dial, replaced the battery, a 9 volt, (Hmmm. Scotty knows....)
and had the Lady in charge work it several times to be sure that all was well.

I then returned to Shannon to report and he said,
"You and Tristan are going to lunch tonight at Texas Roadhouse!"

I had an 8 oz Sirloin and grilled shrimp with Baked potato and hot coffee!


I LOVE my JOB!

Scott
 

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Scott,

That story calls for a song....lol.



AU24K said:
True Story.

A few years ago, I was employed as armed security on the midnight to 8 am shift.
I had a dentist appointment at 9am when I got off work.
I didn't have time to change from my uniform including a full belt of handcuffs, mace and a .38.

As I climbed into the Dentist's chair, the Dentist standing beside me, I unsnapped the holster of my .38 and said,
"I'll bet this ain't gonna hurt a bit, is it?"
His eyes got big and he offered me Valiums, Gas, the receptionist.....

Yeah, I was once young and crazy.
Now I'm just older....


Best,

Scott
Click to expand...
 

Got the Nike Missile tat today on my left inner forearm.

While waiting for the artist to draw it up, I went next door to the "Stop and Rob" gas station to buy him a Sprite.

I might play the Lotto when it gets high enough, but I RARELY buy a scratch and cry ticket.
Well, I bought a $2 one.

Here's how it went...

(Photos are from my "stupid" phone....)

Missle tat and lottery ticket 001.JPG
My numbers were 13 and 20.
I scratched the first number, at random....
BINGO! A Dollar winner!
OK. I'm still down a buck....
I scratch another number or two at random....

View attachment 1555123

Folks, when I was done, I made $5.
A gain of $3!

Woo-Hoo!
View attachment 1555124

Yep, Ole Scotty is livin' right and cruisin' towards wealth and fame! :laughing7:

The albums that I took in to play while I was gettin' inked were:
"The Doobie Brothers. The Captain and Me."
"Fleetwood Mac. Rumours."
"Bob Marley and the Wailers. Kayo"

I asked for requests, having an extensive collection, and now have the next round of music "Cued up!"
Still playing the part of the DJ....

"Dead, Pink, Zeppelin" are the requests....
Y'all know that Scotty has it covered....:headbang:

Scott

"OK. OK. Just a little 'pin prick'....."


"My Friends, enjoy the pleasures that life presents, no matter how small.
Because, once we cease to enjoy life, we cease to live." ©Scott 2018
 

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Caught Comfortably Numb on the truck radio today.
Jensen 3- way speaker days when it came out. Guess they got left behind somewhere....along with a few others. And the old Marantz model 2015 (?) Receiver from the early/ mid seventies that was semi retired ,but could still rock.
 

releventchair said:
Caught Comfortably Numb on the truck radio today.
Jensen 3- way speaker days when it came out. Guess they got left behind somewhere....along with a few others. And the old Marantz model 2015 (?) Receiver from the early/ mid seventies that was semi retired ,but could still rock.
Click to expand...

The love of the past, radio waves crackling on your speaker, a voice from miles away that you have never met....

"Breaker, Breaker one-niner. This here's "Snakebit."
"We pullin' a load down south from Chattanooga to Atlanta. We got lead and we are puttin' the hammer down!"
"Y'all keep your ass out the ditches and keep the bears out your britches!"

Once, years ago....

Well, isn't that where I am now with my Friends here at Treasurenet?





Forgive me...I digress...

Scott
 

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Heck Scott, you done hopped on that $$ train with a wrench in hand.....

I'm on da mule. L.o.l...



 

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