Rookster
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- Nov 24, 2013
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Good morning everyone.
Good morning Msbeepbeep, yeah the dehydrated, I tend to forget to drink enough water.
When my sides aka kidneys start hurting lol
Sorry about my midmorning rant.
It is a strange thing, the more I try to strengthen my faith, the more that I am tormented.
I knew from a very early age that I specifically had a mandate from Heaven that I help bring people to the Door.
I can't make that choice for them, just show them the door.
I'm not very good at communicating online, but in person, different story.
Stay the course and hold the line.
Someone has to do it.
Mankind is falling from the Grace at an increasing rate.
Prayers for Chris and anyone else who walks that line.
I love that I can talk openly about my faith here.
Mike.
[FONT="]Plagued By Doubt and Despair?[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]The Surprising Cure[/B][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]By Roy Masters[/B][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]The root of most of your mental torment and suffering lies in childhood self-doubt. Resentment towards your father's failing is no doubt behind the vicious cycle of worry affecting your health. If your father fails you then you may also think that God has failed you.
Spiritually speaking, the father you can see represents the Father you cannot see. Dad has a very heavy responsibility as a heavenly bureaucrat. The faith in his indwelling goodness ought to be a positive influence, a roundabout way of confirming the faith in what you were born to believe. Resenting your father always negatively impacts that faith, severing the connection from the unfolding inner heavenly nature.
[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#000000][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="][B][URL="http://www.fhu.com/meditation.html"][/URL][/B]
Does this apply to you?
To overcome your conditioning, may we recommend
"Be Still and Know"
Learn More[/FONT]
“Doubting oneself,” is the term we use to describe this life-changing traumatic event.
This struggle between faith and doubt is perpetuated your entire life through rebellion against authority, or, through trusting, putting too much faith in others, hence setting up a special someone to save you. Eventually, resentment toward their emerging faults reinforces the old self-doubt that came from resenting your dad. Resentment in the present towards all those “father’s” you can see, continues to separate you from the Father within that you cannot see. That is what your anxiety and despair is all about.
There are two reasons for the perpetuation of self-doubt, one that springs from the other. The first one is resentment toward look-alike people, places, and things, especially look-alike father figures. The second reason is trusting in another person to save you. This is what leads back again to resentment and despair, because, as you must know by now, they will always fail.
The problems that rise from doubt are extremely complex and dangerous. Fortunately, the cure, if you can grasp it, is extremely simple: forgive your father. You achieve forgiving your father and retrieving faith in God through dropping resentment towards those parent substitutes in the present. Therefore, stop placing your hope for salvation in anyone, because that guarantees cruel disappointments.
Giving up resentment is also pivotal to letting go of past judgments, including the judgment upon your judgment of others that turns into self-judgments. You call it being too hard on yourself.
When you doubted your self as a child, you became wrong and that wrong is ashamed and loath to admit it is wrong. You want so badly to be right.
Well-meaning people, who help build your confidence, only cause more self-doubt, because they are helping you believe in a self that went wrong.
Once upon a time when you believed the lying accusations that you were stupid and crazy, when you really were not, that is when the confusion was planted. Now, when people ridicule or support you they only compound that original confusion.
What follows you now is a conscience that says there is something wrong, but you do not want to listen, because you want to be right so badly. Fortunately, your conscience is not the enemy… it only wants you to awaken.
Because you connect doubting to losing faith and causing everything to go wrong in your life, doubt has become a bad word, for which reason you are afraid to doubt a second time. However, you do need to doubt again, this time to believe that you are wrong, simply because it is the truth that will set you free.
That says everything that I have been trying to tell the people who try to help me.
Chris.. There is NO coincidence that we have crossed paths.
You're doing exactly what you are supposed to do.
I love you for the kind compassionate driven human that you are.
Every time I find myself teetering on the edge, there you are bringing me back.
I see where I went off the path now.
Without getting too heavy, that's where it started, just like you said.
My Father didn't understand me. No one did. I don't believe that anyone does still.
That caused my life to turn upside down at age 12.
Our neighbors were police officers who I trusted.
They lied to that exceptionally immature, trusting child I was and I ended up away from home for nearly three years.
So much deception and torture endured during that time left me very bitter at a young age towards ANY authority figure, bosses, police, wife...
Three decades later, marky changed all of that.
That it was okay to trust again.
He showed the giant heart that he wears on his sleeve and showed kindness towards a stranger like the Good Samaritan would.. For me.
A long standing, highly decorated police officer, helped me get past, the past.
I consider marky a brother.
I'd take a bullet for him and I'd charge headfirst into a group of zombies to save him!
Ultimately, the older insecure part pushed away the only true friend that I have ever had a side from my best friend, my wife.
I think I've said too much.
I'm not looking for anything other than escaping this strife.
If I can't be happy for myself, I must be for my wife.
Three distinct minds of me said what they had to say.
Mike, mouse and Furious.
I'm tired.
I haven't slept or ate anything in two days.
My goal is 96 hours... I don't know why though.
I don't know why I am here... Where is here?
Have you ever felt trapped within yourself?
I'm being tormented by demons.
What makes me so important to single out?
That says everything that I have been trying to tell the people who try to help me.
Chris.. There is NO coincidence that we have crossed paths.
You're doing exactly what you are supposed to do.
I love you for the kind compassionate driven human that you are.
Every time I find myself teetering on the edge, there you are bringing me back.
I see where I went off the path now.
Without getting too heavy, that's where it started, just like you said.
My Father didn't understand me. No one did. I don't believe that anyone does still.
That caused my life to turn upside down at age 12.
Our neighbors were police officers who I trusted.
They lied to that exceptionally immature, trusting child I was and I ended up away from home for nearly three years.
So much deception and torture endured during that time left me very bitter at a young age towards ANY authority figure, bosses, police, wife...
Three decades later, marky changed all of that.
That it was okay to trust again.
He showed the giant heart that he wears on his sleeve and showed kindness towards a stranger like the Good Samaritan would.. For me.
A long standing, highly decorated police officer, helped me get past, the past.
I consider marky a brother.
I'd take a bullet for him and I'd charge headfirst into a group of zombies to save him!
Ultimately, the older insecure part pushed away the only true friend that I have ever had a side from my best friend, my wife.
I think I've said too much.
I'm not looking for anything other than escaping this strife.
If I can't be happy for myself, I must be for my wife.
Three distinct minds of me said what they had to say.
Mike, mouse and Furious.
Thanks for sharing your story with us.
It's a good thing to remember the good things.
I'm sorry some self centered drunk took him away.
Mike
There is nothing I say to you that you already don't know Mike. We are all born into this world with it but..the world GETS into us and tries to put that light out starting with our parents as it was done to them by their parents all the way to back to Paradise lost.
2 Timothy 3:15
John 15:16
Yeah... But you say it.. I'd not think about it otherwise. Too consumed with the bad stuff.
But, but I'm hoping for change and a happier future.
Thank you.
Mike