Old Time Sayings

"Wish in one hand and $h*# in the other, and see which one fills up first" :dontknow:

"Don't count your chickens before they are hatched"

GG~
 

aaaannnntttt !!!!! --said to tell things to git or look out your about to get it.
 

One of my mother's favorite sayings was, "You have to take a Dutchman as he means; not what he says."
'When the outlok is bleak, try the uplook.'
'It's colder than a well-digger's nose in the Klondike'
 

Get down to the store and buy me some smokes!

Boy! Get back in the closet!

Get me a damned beer... now.

Don't make me hit you again.

Shut up whatever your name is...

Santa Clause hates you.

:'(
 

Don't pee in the wind and don't pull the mask off the old Lone ranger and don't mess around with Jim. :headbang:
 

Believe nothing that you hear and only half of what you see.
You're judged by the company you keep.
 

My Dad also used to say, "Boy, are you gonna cut bait or fish?"
And another from my Mom, "All bark and no bite."

Scott
 

These I used to hear from my older brother.

"If ...if's and but's were candy and nuts we all would have a merry Christmas"

"It's not the dog in the fight, it's the fight in the dog that matters"

"I'll stomp a mud hole in you and then stomp it dry"

"If I want any crap out of you I'll cut your head off and dip it out"

"you are so ugly you must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down"

"If I wanted to hear from an A-hole I would just fart"

GG~
 

when the doctor slapped him he started crying and ain't stopped since then.
 

'Calf-rope'. They ain't nobody up here knows what that means. I never said it, neither. Hope the kids aren't readin this. My mom used some expressions that I would get slapped for if I repeated. She said 'hell's bells' way before AC/DC. 'He's as wild as a peach orchard boar'. (Must of been somethin in peaches that made pigs go wild, I guess) 'Sh*t fire and save matches!' If you expressed a bunch of grandiose hopes about the future, she might say, 'Yeah, and you might sh*t and fall back in it.' She would pronounce someone who was prone to a lot of braggin and big talk as 'full of sh*t as a Christmas turkey'. And if my mom, who has been deader'n a doornail for a while now, is somehow seein this and thinkin 'Of all the things, you have to remember and repeat THAT!?!' Well, told ya I was listenin, didn't I?!
 

That girl was so ugly, she looked like her face had been on fire and somebody tried to put it out with a hatchet. He didn't know his *ss from a hole in the ground, AND he didn't know sh*# from Shinola. (Shinola was a shoe polish. I'm sure the Shinola people loved that one.) :laughing9:
 

I like this thread. If you had a whole bunch of somethin, you could say that 'I got more of them than Carter's got Little Liver pills!' If anybody here get's that reference, you're special, and you can explain it to the younger folk. I won't, cause it was waaay before my time. Plus, sometimes I'm so lazy I'd stop plowin to fart. (We got smart and figured out what Shinola was, so we heard we wouldn't know sh*t from wild honey) Don't let the kids see this post. They'll be laughin at us too much and using our posts for school reports and such.
 

Dang, almost forgot . . . Cooter Brown.

Here in southeast Arkansas you can be drunker 'en, uglier 'en, dumber 'en, or as lost as Cooter Brown. Musta been a fun guy to hang out with. They even named a town outside Crossett --- Cooter, Arkansas.
 

When I was a rambunctious little brat, my Grandpa used to say I would drive a wooden Indian crazy, or make a preacher cuss. My dad used to get mad when I'd break something and would tell me I could tear up an anvil with a rubber mallet.
 

Feelin weak today? Well I guess "Your sucking hind tit". My better half is one good looking woman , " She's fine as frog hair".
And last but not least. "Pert near everyone and his dog" has posted on this and I like it. Later y'all.
 

SteveDodds said:
You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
Up shoot crick without a paddle. (censored)
You can't fix stupid.
You want something done do it yourself or get your mom to do it.
Up to my butt in alligators. (censored)

There was another one that involved a frog but I don't remember how it went.

does a frogs butt bump the ground when he jumps.

finer than frogs hair.
 

I sometimes feel like I've been shot at and missed, and sh#t at and hit. One interesting thing is studying the origin of some of the old sayings. I'd still like to know who Katie is and why she had to bar the door. I'm in my element with this topic. I know a bunch of 'em. I'm loaded for bear.
 

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