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Wait! I had the Broncos as a favorite as well! It's a good year to be in the NFL if your name starts with the letter B....they are all going to the super bowl!
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Well, if it ain't one thing it's another. Beginning of August I'm getting complaints over a nude bather at my little lake. Couldn't be the fairies as they are rather shy with strangers. So I go over there and wait under a tree with one of the fairies. After a bit a dang Mermaid come flopping out on the rocks!
Start toward her, gets noticed and she picks up a big rock and tosses it. But the fairy swooped in and intercepted it before I got killed.
When she saw the fairy she calmed down, and I explained about neighbors pissin' and moanin'.
And she stares at me and then she flipped me off with both fingers!
So I tell her I would put vinegar in the water if she doesn''t quit getting me in trouble. So she shrugs, says fine.
No more problems except her eating all my fish. Which I can live with cause a couple aliens come sneaking by that shore and she beat hell out of them with her tail, and gave their weapons to the fairies to bring home.
Flash forward to today. She shows up at the door and says she needs to come in until the lake warms up again next Spring! Before I can stop her she walks past me and drops a box of lures on a table she has picked up from the lake.
Apparently I should never have let her stay around the lake.
Problems. First of all she smells like a bass. Hair smells like spinach. And had to ask her not to sit on everything cause of the slime, which makes the maid gag. And although she can walk on two legs she has to soak in a bathtub occasionally. So for obvious reasons gets her own bathroom.
And Mermaids are high maintenance. Never mind the fish diet, I have to buy her iguana food to make up for the insects she isn't getting. AND Mermaids are all about pretty. Like it's a rule.
I think I have been buffaloed by a parasite. And now the castle smells like defrosted catfish all the time. Only silver lining is her scent attracted cats from every place and the fairies got to practice magic spells on them.

Mermaid-Barbie-by-Wolfette-Styling-on-Whim-Online-Magazine-12.jpg
 

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Hillbilly Prince said:
Well, if it ain't one thing it's another. Beginning of August I'm getting complaints over a nude bather at my little lake. Couldn't be the fairies as they are rather shy with strangers. So I go over there and wait under a tree with one of the fairies. After a bit a dang Mermaid come flopping out on the rocks!
Start toward her, gets noticed and she picks up a big rock and tosses it. But the fairy swooped in and intercepted it before I got killed.
When she saw the fairy she calmed down, and I explained about neighbors pissin' and moanin'.
And she stares at me and then she flipped me off with both fingers!
So I tell her I would put vinegar in the water if she doesn''t quit getting me in trouble. So she shrugs, says fine.
No more problems except her eating all my fish. Which I can live with cause a couple aliens come sneaking by that shore and she beat hell out of them with her tail, and gave their weapons to the fairies to bring home.
Flash forward to today. She shows up at the door and says she needs to come in until the lake warms up again next Spring! Before I can stop her she walks past me and drops a box of lures on a table she has picked up from the lake.
Apparently I should never have let her stay around the lake.
Problems. First of all she smells like a bass. Hair smells like spinach. And had to ask her not to sit on everything cause of the slime, which makes the maid gag. And although she can walk on two legs she has to soak in a bathtub occasionally. So for obvious reasons gets her own bathroom.
And Mermaids are high maintenance. Never mind the fish diet, I have to buy her iguana food to make up for the insects she isn't getting. AND Mermaids are all about pretty. Like it's a rule.
I think I have been buffaloed by a parasite. And now the castle smells like defrosted catfish all the time. Only silver lining is her scent attracted cats from every place and the fairies got to practice magic spells on them.

View attachment 1764224
Click to expand...

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Hillbilly Prince said:
Well, if it ain't one thing it's another. Beginning of August I'm getting complaints over a nude bather at my little lake. Couldn't be the fairies as they are rather shy with strangers. So I go over there and wait under a tree with one of the fairies. After a bit a dang Mermaid come flopping out on the rocks!
Start toward her, gets noticed and she picks up a big rock and tosses it. But the fairy swooped in and intercepted it before I got killed.
When she saw the fairy she calmed down, and I explained about neighbors pissin' and moanin'.
And she stares at me and then she flipped me off with both fingers!
So I tell her I would put vinegar in the water if she doesn''t quit getting me in trouble. So she shrugs, says fine.
No more problems except her eating all my fish. Which I can live with cause a couple aliens come sneaking by that shore and she beat hell out of them with her tail, and gave their weapons to the fairies to bring home.
Flash forward to today. She shows up at the door and says she needs to come in until the lake warms up again next Spring! Before I can stop her she walks past me and drops a box of lures on a table she has picked up from the lake.
Apparently I should never have let her stay around the lake.
Problems. First of all she smells like a bass. Hair smells like spinach. And had to ask her not to sit on everything cause of the slime, which makes the maid gag. And although she can walk on two legs she has to soak in a bathtub occasionally. So for obvious reasons gets her own bathroom.
And Mermaids are high maintenance. Never mind the fish diet, I have to buy her iguana food to make up for the insects she isn't getting. AND Mermaids are all about pretty. Like it's a rule.
I think I have been buffaloed by a parasite. And now the castle smells like defrosted catfish all the time. Only silver lining is her scent attracted cats from every place and the fairies got to practice magic spells on them.

View attachment 1764224
Click to expand...
Ok....magic on cats is freaking awesome. Hair smelling sounds like some cuddle time has happened. Now, most mermaids swing from gender to gender at the blink of an eye so when it changes to Male gender does it still maintain teeth? This can tell you where the mermaid originates from. Try to keep kissing down to minimal in male form as disease can transfer more easily this way.
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Hillbilly Prince said:
Well, if it ain't one thing it's another. Beginning of August I'm getting complaints over a nude bather at my little lake. Couldn't be the fairies as they are rather shy with strangers. So I go over there and wait under a tree with one of the fairies. After a bit a dang Mermaid come flopping out on the rocks!
Start toward her, gets noticed and she picks up a big rock and tosses it. But the fairy swooped in and intercepted it before I got killed.
When she saw the fairy she calmed down, and I explained about neighbors pissin' and moanin'.
And she stares at me and then she flipped me off with both fingers!
So I tell her I would put vinegar in the water if she doesn''t quit getting me in trouble. So she shrugs, says fine.
No more problems except her eating all my fish. Which I can live with cause a couple aliens come sneaking by that shore and she beat hell out of them with her tail, and gave their weapons to the fairies to bring home.
Flash forward to today. She shows up at the door and says she needs to come in until the lake warms up again next Spring! Before I can stop her she walks past me and drops a box of lures on a table she has picked up from the lake.
Apparently I should never have let her stay around the lake.
Problems. First of all she smells like a bass. Hair smells like spinach. And had to ask her not to sit on everything cause of the slime, which makes the maid gag. And although she can walk on two legs she has to soak in a bathtub occasionally. So for obvious reasons gets her own bathroom.
And Mermaids are high maintenance. Never mind the fish diet, I have to buy her iguana food to make up for the insects she isn't getting. AND Mermaids are all about pretty. Like it's a rule.
I think I have been buffaloed by a parasite. And now the castle smells like defrosted catfish all the time. Only silver lining is her scent attracted cats from every place and the fairies got to practice magic spells on them.

View attachment 1764224
Click to expand...

We needs to have an investigation. Never mind the nude sunbathing. Do people drink that water?? That's a good way to come down with E-Coli. All this time I thought you were happily married. I didn't know that you were harboring a mermaid. Talk about a need for plastic covers,, on everything!!
 

13dolphins1 said:
Ok....magic on cats is freaking awesome. Hair smelling sounds like some cuddle time has happened. Now, most mermaids swing from gender to gender at the blink of an eye so when it changes to Male gender does it still maintain teeth? This can tell you where the mermaid originates from. Try to keep kissing down to minimal in male form as disease can transfer more easily this way.
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Click to expand...

WTH! I didn't know they change genders. No wonder the fairies aren't complaining. I'm gonna get a whale harpoon from Amazon and lean it in the corner where she will see it. Then I will casually talk about how two girls is ok, but two guys is not for me.
Far as smelling her hair I can't help it. Just open your tackle box, or go hang out at a lake and take a good sniff if you want to know what she smells like.
I guess I'm gonna have to get some antibiotics somehow before I xatch some aquarium disease.
 

Hillbilly Prince said:
WTH! I didn't know they change genders. No wonder the fairies aren't complaining. I'm gonna get a whale harpoon from Amazon and lean it in the corner where she will see it. Then I will casually talk about how two girls is ok, but two guys is not for me.
Far as smelling her hair I can't help it. Just open your tackle box, or go hang out at a lake and take a good sniff if you want to know what she smells like.
I guess I'm gonna have to get some antibiotics somehow before I xatch some aquarium disease.
Click to expand...
When you fish next spring you can milk fresh water fish of their eggs. Collect the eggs and get yourself some milk and mix it with the eggs....then add a little nutmeg and honey, mix it up and wham....you have lunch shakes that is a natural defense system for any Mermaid spread ailments.
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against the wind said:
We needs to have an investigation. Never mind the nude sunbathing. Do people drink that water?? That's a good way to come down with E-Coli. All this time I thought you were happily married. I didn't know that you were harboring a mermaid. Talk about a need for plastic covers,, on everything!!
Click to expand...

Harboring a Mermaid...:D
The last thing I wanted to think about this moring was what she does in the lake. No more fish for me. Bad enough watching her tear into raw haddock and uncooked shrimp :(
She slides off everything so plastic covers are out. Then she flops around on the floor breaking stuff.
When you are surrounded by aliens, fairies, flying monkees, and now a mer maid, I don't think marriage is on the table :)
I'm gonna have to get a blood test. But I am getting some of this right away.
810Dno+sWyL._AC_SL1500_.jpg
 

13dolphins1 said:
When you fish next spring you can milk fresh water fish of their eggs. Collect the eggs and get yourself some milk and mix it with the eggs....then add a little nutmeg and honey, mix it up and wham....you have lunch shakes that is a natural defense system for any Mermaid spread ailments.
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Click to expand...

But is that like eating baby Mermaids?! Maybe I'm confused here.
But lest any naysayers appear to question anything, I will post this to head off the ninnies.
2468f28892ef1672dc84281120b6db1b.jpg
 

Hillbilly Prince said:
Harboring a Mermaid...:D
The last thing I wanted to think about this moring was what she does in the lake. No more fish for me. Bad enough watching her tear into raw haddock and uncooked shrimp :(
She slides off everything so plastic covers are out. Then she flops around on the floor breaking stuff.
When you are surrounded by aliens, fairies, flying monkees, and now a mer maid, I don't think marriage is on the table :)
I'm gonna have to get a blood test. But I am getting some of this right away.
View attachment 1764389
Click to expand...
No blood test needed, just see above receipe. **Also, you can get you hands on some carp. Place carp everywhere under your house floor boards. As soon as those fish start rotting and smelling the mermaid will change into human form. (IMPORTANT...its human form can be controlled by gender of rotting fish. If your rotting carp are 3 to 1 female then the mermaid will transform into a female). Really pile the fish in there as well** stacking four high will help on ratio counts.
If it's a northeastern mermaid she will grant you 1 wish. If it's a Northwestern mermaid she may tear your face off and wear it as a trophy for 1 year. Northwestern mermaids are rarer in nature.
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13dolphins1 said:
No blood test needed, just see above receipe. **Also, you can get you hands on some carp. Place carp everywhere under your house floor boards. As soon as those fish start rotting and smelling the mermaid will change into human form. (IMPORTANT...its human form can be controlled by gender of rotting fish. If your rotting carp are 3 to 1 female then the mermaid will transform into a female). Really pile the fish in there as well** stacking four high will help on ratio counts.
If it's a northeastern mermaid she will grant you 1 wish. If it's a Northwestern mermaid she may tear your face off and wear it as a trophy for 1 year. Northwestern mermaids are rarer in nature.
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Click to expand...
Oh and Northwestern Mermaids will tax the sh#t out of you for everything including breathing air....just an FYI.
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My, my, my. We are busy in SW Missouri.
I don't know about you guys but, I think I'll keep the pigeons in the loft and the Mermaids in the lake.
 

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