My last post

[JerseyGirl71]

As a woman....I am embarrassed by my gender.
She is an idiot if she doesn't realize how lucky she is to have a husband who is supportive of her both financially and educationally.
She needs to return the favor and support her husband in his endeavors.

My husband loves motorcycles....so I learned to ride and got my motorcycle license and a motorcycle.
Sure...it scares the crap out of me....but I am supporting him and it is a way we spend time together.

I do have some kick ass boots....lol

I would never think to tell my husband what he can or cannot do....and I assure you my husband would even try to tell me that either.

(Okay...so hubby doesn't like alcohol in the house....I may hide some Grey Goose in my closet)

See...it all works out....lol

MK

 

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[ryaan21]

I know the guy is probably gone already and that is sad. I was in a marriage like he described. To make a long story short......

I had to ask permission to do the most basic of things. Buy a pack of smokes, buy a fishing permit, spend time with my family, play video games. Anything that I did that did not have her stamp of approval ended up in a 3 day screaming match. I got tired of being treated like a child. I was working and bringing in over half of our income. I treated her like a queen. I got treated like trash.

When I got my metal detector her and her friends would make fun of me and throw change down in front of me while I was trying to detect. One time I found something pretty valuable and sold it and she was like "ohhhh that is so cool, now we can use that money for ________" It was some household project her dad thought we should do. I took the money and bought a new gaming computer for myself.

I used to be romantic, flowers when she didnt expect them, drawing her a bath, rubbing her feet, stuff like that. I came home one day and was in the back porch taking off my shoes, she didnt hear me pull up or come in the house, and I heard her making fun of me for the romantic things I was doing. Laughing at the choice of flowers I bought her. Making fun of the fact that I drew her a bath, "Im not a @#$@# child" she said.

It took me a while to realize that I never married her. I married her and her father. They picked out the house we bought. They picked out which vehicles we bought. I came home one day from work early, saw her dads truck in the driveway and figured he was doing the lawn or something. He liked to do our yardwork for some reason.

I went in the house and found him in our bedroom going through our "billbox" All of our important papers and financials were in there. He also found a playboy magazine I had laying around in my bedroom. Well he told my wife I was a pervert for having a playboy.

So after the above incident I told her to get her dads copy of our house key back from him. We gave both sets of parents a copy of the key in case of emergencies and what not, but he was using the key to go through our private stuff and private areas of our house.

I was making about 21,000 a year at my job, not really good but not horrible. Her dad was rich, millionaire a few times over and then some. When ever we would get together at her parents for family functions, after a few drinks he would quiet everyone down like he had an announcement to make and then would ask me in front of everyone how much money I made so far that year, then tell everyone how much he made. Kinda like making me feel inferior because I didnt walk into a good job like he did.

I mention all of the above for a purpose. I am not just whining.


When I got tired of all the above treatment and told her something needed to change, I was called every name you can think of and more. I was told I was being selfish and a prick. I was told I needed counseling because "that's just how marriage works..."

I told her to pack her **** and get out. She did. I am happy now.

 

[scotty544]

Damn Ryan you had a lot more patience than I would have had.

 

[Fletch88]

A old wise man once told me "son a man can't live of bread alone". At the time he was talking about women. But 20+ years later and 3 kids, a divorce, etc etc , that statement takes on a whole new meaning..... A man (or woman) not to be a sexist, has to have something in their life they are passionate about. It's what keeps us all plugging along. Good luck maybe your circumstances will change. Don't sell your tectors just yet. FYI my wife is pretty upset too we my virtual detecting all the time on various forums and YouTube detecting vids

 

[atomicscott]

A old wise man once told me "son a man can't live of bread alone". At the time he was talking about women. But 20+ years later and 3 kids, a divorce, etc etc , that statement takes on a whole new meaning..... A man (or woman) not to be a sexist, has to have something in their life they are passionate about. It's what keeps us all plugging along. Good luck maybe your circumstances will change. Don't sell your tectors just yet. FYI my wife is pretty upset too we my virtual detecting all the time on various forums and YouTube detecting vids

That's very true. I can't say my wife doesn't get tired of my hobbies (I have a lot of them) but she realizes these things are helping to keep me sane, which helps our relationship as a whole. I try to back off a bit and give it a break for a bit when I sense she's really getting annoyed! I admit I probably spend more time than I should on these forums, etc... I hope things get better for the OP, but it's not cool to step on a man's passion.

 

[diggummup]

A friend told me that I should clear up my reasoning, so people don't get the wrong idea. I work full time, and do a fair amount of overtime because I am supporting the whole household. My wife is in school as well as my son. I only got out for a few hours a week, and one full 8 hr day every two weeks. Everyone knows that the hobby entails more than just swinging the coil in your back yard. There is research, permission, etc. To be clear, I always looked after at least 80% of the housework, yard work, helping my wife with her studies as well as my sons homework. Here is where the problem is....I found a killer site that is producing awesome finds. I take a bit of time to clean up and research my finds, overlay maps, and research the original owner of the land....why?..because I'm a history buff and its intriguing. It does not take up all my time, but I get messages and send messages to friends that comment on my finds, or want to help with research. That's the problem. I'm ok to go out for a couple hours a week, but that's it. If I want a couple hours in that week to research etc, then that's all I get. No detecting. So, she is fine with me going detecting for a couple hours a week, but that's it...no research, no phone calls, no messaging. The time I'm home is to be 100% metal detecting free. Rather than argue or fight, I removed my balls and placed them in her hand. That's the truth, that's how it is...I don't like it one bit, but if that's what momma wants....

Looks like you cleared it up just fine. If you wanted a momma you shouldn't have got married. Get 'em out of her hand and put them where they will do some good. I know a place they would fit and would keep her from running that mouth at the same time. Good luck pal. It's better to be alone than to live like a prisoner under your own roof. Been there done that. It will only "work" for so long. It's a straight up recipe for disaster. Your wife sounds just lovely.