Hate to Be Your last Words

[Draskinn]

Not last words but almost my last thoughts

When I was 16 walking home from work one night, I hear pop pop pop I think

“fireworks?”

No someone was just shooting at the guy that was running past me.

In my last car wreck I cleanly remember thinking right before impact.

“this is going to hurt”

 

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[CoinMiner]

I don't have to out run the bear, I just have to outrun you...

Recon what that wire goes to...

 

[gollum]

..what do you mean your mother packed my parachute....?
8)

Cap Z.

Cappy,

That was almost me on my very first jump in Jump School at Ft. Benning, Ga. When I opened up my parachute harness, I saw the letters "FTA" written in felt tip on the parachute body.

The Black Hat (instructor) told me not to worry about it, and go ahead. I refused, and made them get me a new chute. Because of the delay, I was the last one on the plane (meaning I was the first one out the door).

My last words might have been, "The Black hat said the chute was ok."

How about, "I don't need no stinkin' jackstands!"

"No, lions love it when you tease them!"

Mike

 

[spez401]

The three that nobody has posted yet:

"yes I shut the power off at the fusebox"

"yes I set the emergency brake"

"Damn I wish I put on clean underwear"

steve

 

[Mental Granny]

And if the occasion arises that you'd wish you had on clean underwear, it wont matter they wont be anyway.

 

[Marty-Graw]

first you say it then you do it

 

[Sandman]

This is a great post Gypsy. These are famous last words...........

 

[Gypsy Heart]

Fine if you are going to be such a baby just hold the light and I will crawl in there..............


Think these floorboards will hold?


Kinda looks like an old well ,doesnt it?

 

[Old Dog]

What do they mean by "soft shoulder"?

OD

 

[Gypsy Heart]

Wonder why they have a STOP sign way out here in the boonies.....


I have never seen a train come through this tunnel...lets go in...

Is that the emblem for poison?

What if we tied the M80 to the bottle rocket?

 

[spez401]

"No... my husband is at his weekly "Hell's Angels" meeting, and he hasn't carried a weapon since he got out of prison for beating up the last guy he caught me with"

 

[Jeffro]

Whats wrong with the canary? Wake up little buddy!

 

[stevesno]

Yeah, I'm sure I tightened the lugnuts..

Or as I have experienced...Doc are you sure that this experimental anthrax vaccine you are giving me has no harmful side effects?

 

[Gypsy Heart]

Of course it will work......
What do I look like to you...Stupid?
Of course I read the directions.....

Smell? What Smell?

I just mixed a little bleach with the toilet bowl cleaner...should really clean it now........

 

[txkickergirl]

When flying you always hear if its your time then its your time,
I always think....what if its the pilots time


---911 whats your emergency?
---Oh never mind, too late now

iceberg ahead

look out! (like I want to see whats coming)

don't worry everything is fine

on second thought

 

[stevesno]

I think I'll pitch my tent in this ravine. Theres not a cloud in the sky!

Dummy, you know lightening never strikes in the same place twice!

 

[Gypsy Heart]

Are you sure you didnt leave any food out in the campsite?

You put a block behind the tire,right?

 

[stevesno]

Honey I found my first ever batch of morrells!

I wonder what this round puffy fish taste like?

Oooh look what a cute little puppy...and he must have gotten into my Alka Seltzer.

 

[Jeffro]

Are you sure you didnt leave any food out in the campsite?

You put a block behind the tire,right?

Funny you should mention that....

I was helping my father in law one day, we had the tranny out of this Monte Carlo. He turned loose of the emergency brake and gave it a little push, then yelled out "QUICK! Jump in and put it in park!"

I fell for it.......

 

[Baldingboy]

How about this?

"Who is frying Bologna?!"