CRISPINS CRITTERS

[AU24K]

A story to demonstrate that "I'm there."
Once I was employed as security at a grocery store.
I carried a .38....
I would go to the back of the store and secretly watch the aisles for shoplifters...

Aisle 9! HOTLINE!

I only had to draw twice.....

Scott

 

Amazon Forum Fav 👍

Treasure of Victoria Peak - Grab it through Amazon!

[AU24K]

My thoughts of my next tattoos will be of a dozen or so military ribbons.
Six on one arm, six on the other?
Perhaps a medal or three? Or more?
Which will I choose?
I only have so much arm....Yeah, tattoo's are addictive....
Then again.....When is enough deemed to be enough?
I may be done....
I KNOW of my Service and will always be proud....
I don't think that I need to ADVERTISE....
If you feel the need to confront me, well, you can bring it!
"I'm your Huckleberry,....."

Who will die today?



Scott

Scott

 

[AU24K]

Just messaged a guy that I know...
Offering to go shooting.

Perhaps we will meet. Some early morning....
And, then....



Can any good come from animosity?

When a man offers forgiveness...,

 

[AU24K]

This coming week, I'll AGAIN ENJOY A COMPANY PAID DINNER!
I'll suggest a local Chinese Buffet with unlimited Sushi!
Isn't that a daisy?

Scott

 

[AU24K]

When you shoot, you must aim to kill.


DIG?

Scott

 

[AU24K]

One evening. my Friend Bill and I went to a bar after work for a Guinness.
Suddenly, a man with a pistol entered and said,"I'm here to kill every man who made love to my wife!"
I took another drink from my pint and said,"You don't have enough bullets, mate."

Scott

 

[AU24K]

Not long ago, I was in a bar with my Friend RC and a man entered and said,"I am Satan. All fear me!"
Everyone fled the bar except me and RC.
The man asked why we hadn't fled.
RC said that he didn't believe that he was Satan.
I said that I was once married to your sister and I no longer fear anyone in your Family.

Scott

Y'all want more? 'Cause I got more...

 

[AU24K]

One evening, I met up with my Friend, Mr. Green.
He sat at the bar forlornly and I sat down next to him.
In front of him was a 12" midget who sat on a tiny piano bench, in front of a miniature piano, plating Chopin, Mozart and other Masters.
I asked why he was so sad.
He told me that he had found a magic lamp, rubbed it and a Genie appeared.
The Genie granted him one wish and it wasn't for a 12 inch pianist....

Scott

Don't make me tell the story of when I found a magic lamp....'cause I will...

 

[AU24K]

OK.
You asked for it..,,
I was sitting in the bar and Dram came in.
He sat down next to me as I ordered a shot of Tequila,
Well, on my left shoulder sat a 12 inch midget.
When the shot was placed in front of me, that midget jumped down and kicked over the drink.
I smiled at Dram, lit a cigarette and ordered another shot.
When the shot was placed in front of me, I set my cigarette in an ashtray and reached for the shot.
Again, the midget jumped off of my shoulder to kick over the shot. And this time, he stomped out my cigarette,
I looked at Dram and he asked, "What the hell?"
K
I said,"When I was Treasure hunting awhile ago, I found a magic lamp, I rubbed it and a Genie appeared. I was granted one wish. I wished for a 12" prick and here he is."

Scott

No one is immune....,
Who is next?



Life often has little ****, to deal with,don't it?

Is that Paul Schaeffer on keyboards?
I'[ve often found myself alone...
My scope is slighted, my aim [s true...
my trigger squeeze is just for you.

Scott

 

[AU24K]

Freunde, ich bin traurig, weil ich nicht in meinen Bergen bin.
Dig?

Scott

 

[Togreenfeet]

I wish you were in your mountains Scott. Maybe make you happy. [emoji4]

 

[bill from lachine]

Scott,

One funny story deserves another....back in my Marketing and Sales days at the railway I was on a special project with some teammates.

We were working with some hotshot consultant at the time and the boss wanted me to make the presentation the next AM to the VP....I told him thanks for the pat on the back but my coworker Terry had put in more effort than me so I said no Terry should do the presentation.

If he has any trouble I'll jump in to bail him out. So next morning when the presentation was going on it was going fairly well but there were probably 100 or so people in the room so Terry was a bit nervous as you'd expect.

He put an acetate on the overhead projector and there was obviously a small section that had been cut out. The VP who was a bit of a pain in the butt noticed it and wanted to know what had been deleted from the slide.

Terry was taken aback and beet red....I figured now's the time to jump in.

I pipped up sorry but we can't tell you because it's top secret and if we told you we'd have to kill you....at that point the entire audience broke out in laughter including the VP....I had a polite smirk on my face for saving the day.

Regards

Bill

 

[bill from lachine]

Scott,
Yep...it's Paul Shaffer who happens to be a Canuck heck we're everywhere...lol.

Regards + HH

Bill

OK.
You asked for it..,,
I was sitting in the bar and Dram came in.
He sat down next to me as I ordered a shot of Tequila,
Well, on my left shoulder sat a 12 inch midget.
When the shot was placed in front of me, that midget jumped down and kicked over the drink.
I smiled at Dram, lit a cigarette and ordered another shot.
When the shot was placed in front of me, I set my cigarette in an ashtray and reached for the shot.
Again, the midget jumped off of my shoulder to kick over the shot. And this time, he stomped out my cigarette,
I looked at Dram and he asked, "What the hell?"
K
I said,"When I was Treasure hunting awhile ago, I found a magic lamp, I rubbed it and a Genie appeared. I was granted one wish. I wished for a 12" prick and here he is."

Scott

No one is immune....,
Who is next?



Life often has little ****, to deal with,don't it?

Is that Paul Schaeffer on keyboards?
I'[ve often found myself alone...
My scope is slighted, my aim [s true...
my trigger squeeze is just for you.

Scott

 

[45th_Johnny]

For Scott:

 

[bill from lachine]

Johnny,
Great choice of song.

Regards + HH

Bill

 

[45th_Johnny]

Help! Does anyone remember a song with a female singer, with a raspy voice singer about "Money, I need money, that's what I want"? I have been looking for days and can't find it.

 

[bill from lachine]

Johnny,

Would this be the song you're looking for??

Flying lizzards - Money that's what I want.

 

[releventchair]

 

[releventchair]

 

[bill from lachine]

RC,

Yep Barrett Strong wrote and performed the song originally in 1959 and it was the first song recorded by Motown it was recorded by the Beatles in their early days among others.

Another group that covered it were the sonics which were kind of the forerunners of punk rock.

Regards + HH

Bill