CRISPINS CRITTERS

The same fellow was ice fishing once and another guy came up and dropped his line in.
Within a half hour, our Friend was pulling fish out left and right and the "new comer" hadn't gotten even a bite.

Eventually the newcomer asked, "Say, buddy, what's your secret?"
Our Friend said, "Mmmnngh!"
Newcomer asks, "What?"
Our Friend spits a handful of worms into his hand and says, "Gotta keep the bait warm!"

Scott
 

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Then, another time, our Friend was fishing on a restricted creek and the Game Warden appeared.
The Game Warden asked, "Having any luck?"
Our Friend said, "Boy, am I! I've caught 20 trout and hope to get another 20 before noon!"
Game Warden says, "Do you know who I am?"
Our Friend says, "No. Who are you?"
Game Warden says, "I'm a Federal Game Warden!"
Our Friend says, "Do you know who I am?"
Game Warden says, "No. Who are you?"
Our Friend says, "I'm the biggest liar in the county!"
(as he secretly released his stringer....)

Scott
 

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Togreenfeet said:
This is hilarious. I just got home from grocery shopping at Publix. I told the boys “ you want to eat help bring groceries in. We were bringing in the plastic bags and I heard the boys laughing hard. You see I try to buy treats for the dogs and the Dachshund smelled her toy duck and singled it out from all the other bags. Both boys were trying to catch her as she was making her get away with her bag!!!!!
Click to expand...

Reminds me of a story when I had to punish a dog that would chase chickens that I had and would kill them.

Now, Friends, you might find my method disagreeable, but, believe me, it worked.
After about the third chicken lost, I took the carcass of the chicken and beat the dog with the dead chicken until the dog laid down and whimpered, as if to say, "OK. I understand."
I NEVER had anymore problems with that dog. In fact, he became a "protector" of my chickens after that.

Scott
 

If you wanna talk fishin'....Well, that's all right....



Scott
 

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I bought 5 tickets for
Friday night's drawing of "Mega Millions."

If I win and they ask, "What are you gonna do tomorrow?"

I'll answer, "I guess that I'll go to work. 'Cause I love my job and the folks I work with!"

And, if I'm besieged with people wanting money, I'll pull a large wad of bills from my pocket, peel off a thin skin and as I hand a dollar to them, I'll say,
"BUY YOUR OWN DAMN TICKET!"

Scott
 

When I was a kid I had a Pitbull. My drunk father accused my dog of killing and eating his chickens. I asked my dog about it and he denied it. So I told my father he must be lying......... he leaned over in his chair and he said “ boy do you know how to cure a chicken killing dog?” No sir. You cut it’s tail off.......right behind the ears!” I got it!
 

Joke of the day — The first-time father, beside himself with excitement over the birth of his son, was determined to do everything right.

"So, tell me, Nurse," he asked as his new family headed out the hospital door, "what time should we wake the little guy in the morning?"
 

Anybody watching this show on Discovery Finding Escobar’s Millions? Fascinating
 

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Folks,

This guy has got one heck of an attitude.....love how he kicks butt on this heavy metal tune....lol.

 

I must say that I've made some of the best Friends here at Treasurenet.
Although I've never personally met any of you, I want to thank you for our Friendship! :notworthy:

My Best Wishes to All!

Scott
 

Last night was another late night...bedtime was around 3 am.
I awoke this morning about 7:30 in a panic.
I thought I was going to be late for work.
3 weeks of 10+ hour days can be tiring.....

When my mind quickly cleared and I realized that it was Saturday,
I smiled to myself, pulled the electric blanket up and slept for another hour.

Weekends are made for "recharging!"

Best,

Scott
 

Ultimate joke of the day—My son, Scott, an insurance broker in Florida, loves ocean fishing and takes his cell phone along on the boat. One morning, we were drifting about ten miles offshore as Scott discussed business on the phone.

Suddenly, his rod bent double and the reel screamed as line poured off the spool. Scott was master of the situation.

"Pardon me," he told his customer calmly. "I have a call on another line."
 

And, one time my Friend, Mr. Green and I went fishing with a new comer.
We slowly drifted in the small boat to a spot on the river that I knew of.
Mr. Green lit the fuse of a stick of dynamite and casually tossed it towards the bank.
The explosion in the water brought up several fine fish from the concussion.
As Mr. Green and I scooped up the floating fish, the new-comer asked, "Do y'all know who I am?"
We looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and said, "No."
New-comer said, "I'm a Federal Game Warden."
Mr. Green said, "So, you gonna run your mouth or are you gonna help scoop the fish?"

Scott

Ahem! Mr. Green, take notice! LOL!



I can out do you or anyone else in true stories, humorous experiences or jokes. Try me!

If not, certainly we all will enjoy the banter!
 

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As you may have heard, it snowed pretty heavy yesterday here in the South.

It made me think of this tune...



I thought also of when My Mom died, just 5 days before Christmas, in 2001.

Best,

Scott
 

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"Watch out! Scotty likes to set traps. I see Mr. Green being a recipient of such...
A joke with him included...yet to formulate. Dig?"
No one is immune!

LOL

Y'all be Well, Hear?

Scott

Can one not feel the loss in one's life ,as I have?
 

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It has been shown, through Psychological studies, that a sense of humor, regardless of situation or subject , indicates a higher degree of intelligence.

So, let's all enjoy our smartness!

Scott

After laundry is now finished, a warm sweatshirt, just out of the dryer, to don,
I'll pull my guitar from the closet and together, my guitar and I, we shall make music...
My guitar..
My Friend when I'm alone....



Have you ever felt alone?

In my life, I've lived so many different places that it is not unusual for me to awaken and wonder, "Where the hell am I? And who wants to kill me today?"
I am alone in my life, as I prefer..
Because when I die, no one will cry....
Just another Vet....

And, the life that I live, the life of fellow Vets that I see,

Know that Scott is always there.
Always...
I would give my life then....
I will give it now...Your best Friend in that bunker....
Protecting you...Protecting America!

Doubt me and get educated....
 

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Just messaged the Vet that I mentor offering congratulations on advancement and promising my help towards success.
He replied that he knows of my dedication and appreciates my Voluntarism.

I am always there....

Scott
 

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