CRISPINS CRITTERS

[Togreenfeet]

Joke of the day— Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says, "Slim, I'm 83 years old now, and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby!"

"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

 

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[45th_Johnny]

IRISH TALKING CLOCK
After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

'What's that big brass gong?' one of the guests asked..

'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the drunk replied.

'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his astonished friend. 'How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it.

'Watch,' the drunk replied.

He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an Ear-shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.......

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, 'You ASS HOLE!
It's 3:15 in the MORNING!'

 

[AU24K]

Word has gotten around at work that I collect coins, currency and such.
A cleaning lady approached me last week and said that she has a stamp album and some coins that she would like to sell....
She said that she occasionally buys storage units that are in default from payments and they were in a unit that she had bought the contents of several years ago.
I said that I'd like to take a look at them.

Today, she brought them in and I had a "looky-see...."

The stamp album is a Minkus from 1951. Not alot worth much that I could see by a quick glance.

Then, I looked over the coins.
They are all foreign and in 2X2's.
OLD 2X2"s!

I saw some silver and most all were in better grades.
I said, "How much are you looking to get for all of it?"
She said that a rude guy at a coin shop offered her $100.
I pulled out my wallet and said, "How about a nice guy give you $100?"
I flashed the bill and she said, "OK."

I just processed the first page consisting of 20 Canadian large cents, from 1859-1921, and the total value is $50.
I have 9 more pages to process....

I'm pretty sure that I did alright!



Best,

Scott

 

[Togreenfeet]

I’m going to Sea World tomorrow with my friends........ oh I’m going with my grandsons 5th grade class!! Hehe and btw, WE GOT THE BOAT!!!!!! Pictured when I can!!

 

[AU24K]

Seriously considering getting my Unit Crest tattoo this Saturday.

3/71st ADA

Dallau Germany​

The same artist already has my design and has it ready to go.

He is good!

G Munky (@g.munky.tattoos) | Instagram photos and videos


When I got my first one by him, I was so impressed that I paid for it AND gave him a generous tip.

More later...

PS.
2GF.
Sorry that I haven't sent the latest package of "Pirate" swag yet as I have been pretty busy lately.
I'll have to go into one of my safes that I haven't been in for awhile to find a couple more items to send...
I PROMISE that I'll get the package sent soon!

Have you begun any clues or a "map" yet?

Be Well, Brother!

Best,

Scott

 

[AU24K]

RIP Jim Nabors.

6/12/30-11/30/17



Scott

 

[AU24K]

Before it get's too late,
I've one more story to relate about my military service....
Well, I guess that it IS late already....
Anyway,

During my AIT,
I was called to the Commander's office one afternoon.
When I reported, there were 2 guys in Civilian clothes in the office.
I was told to, "Stand at ease."

Without going into details, the two guys were there to offer me OCS.

Well, I said, "No thank you. I'm honored to be considered, but I'm happy with my current MOS and position."

Later, once at my PDS, the subject was brought up again by my Unit Commanding officer after being told to report at the unit Headquarters.

I said, "Look, Captain, you are not much older than I am, yet, I see that the strain of your commission has not proven to be favorable to your health. Again, with a feeling of great honor, I respectfully decline, Sir."

As I left the Captains office, I saw the same 2 guys in Civilian clothes again outside in the hallway.
They had followed me from Alabama to Germany.

After that, the subject was never brought up again....
I continued to perform my assigned duties, and served for a time with "Special Duties," assigned by Battalion Headquarters, and eventually separated with an Honorable Discharge to include full benefits.
Little did anyone know that some 40 years later I'd be happily employed as a well paid forklift mechanic!

God Bless ALL of America's Vets!
Because we all have our own stories of Service to America!

Scott

 

[AU24K]

My late night's musings make me think of the cleaning lady that I purchased the stamps and coins from....

She is close to my age and divorced.

Hmmm.

What does she look like?

Here ya go...

Her name? Marsha.


Perhaps an offer to share a cup of coffee and conversation at a local restaurant?
To learn more?

Hmmm....

I SWORE that I was done with romance, but.....

Comments, Folks?

Scott

I MUST remind myself that I've always done better when I was by myself.....

If I'm going to play this hand, I'm going to play it slow and fold quickly if I see that I cannot win.

"Let me sleep on it...."

 

[AU24K]

"Yeah, see? I told you that Scott is an idiot!"

Damn! Is it that obvious?

"Look, you see that it is late once again.
I don't have time for your degrading comments, you old fart! I don't even have time for sleep!
I have coffee to make, a lunch to prepare and another 10 hours to put in starting in about 6 hours.
The only positive thing that I have to look forward to is that tomorrow is PAYDAY!"

3 paydays this month!



Scott

 

[AU24K]

OK.

I'm 10-7 and I've just turned on my electric blanket hoping for a couple of hours of sleep before daylight.

Goodnight, all.

Scott

 

[releventchair]

OK.

I'm 10-7 and I've just turned on my electric blanket hoping for a couple of hours of sleep before daylight.

Goodnight, all.

Scott

AHh haa! The electric field from the blanket creates a rejuvenating and special power almost as powerful as coffee!
I knew it had to be more than that red S on your tee- shirt.

Energy,yea,that's it.

 

[Togreenfeet]

Scott no worries buddy. I know you’re busy

 

[45th_Johnny]

Touching story.

 

[AU24K]

Scott no worries buddy. I know you’re busy

I sent the package this morning. I was told that you should get it by Tuesday.

My computer crashed last night and I'm once again using my Landlord's laptop computer.
I may not have my computer back until late net week. If it can even be repaired. I have no clue at this point.

I got that other tattoo today and I'll post a picture when I can. It looks pretty dang good!
Again, a generous tip was given.

Hope all are well!

Scott

 

[Togreenfeet]

Thanks Scott. I have a special something to send back to you. I’ll send it soon. My brother in law once said to me “ show me a soldier with a tattoo and I’ll show you a man that’s been drunk once” hehe

 

[AU24K]

Just finished processing all of the coins that I bought last week.
Total comes to $312.45.
Not bad!
Treasure is where you find it!

Now I'll process the stamps.
I doubt that it will even reach a total of $10.

I had went to the library yesterday and requested an inter-library loan for the 6 volume Scott's Catalog.
Should pick them up late this coming week.

AH! It appears that the key to the right of "z" does not work on my Landlord's laptop.
Therefore, any word that I want to use that employs that letter will have to be replaced with a synonym.
No problem!

I seem to remember a short story by an author that doesn't use the letter "E."
I wonder if the reason is similar to my situation?

Hope all are well.

Scott

 

[AU24K]

I've already decided on the tat to follow....
The Service Ribbon of my European Duty.

Placed under the Unit Crest.

Also, the Army "Servicex" ribbon...

Hmmm,
Seems that a cxertain letter is having problems...
And the pics are not matching up with text....

Am I in the "Twilight Zxxxxxone?"

cxxott


I'm about through trying to cxommunicate on this xlaptop....;
Driving me towards more insanity than I cxare to embracxe.

Insanity is a relative term:
If you don't believe me, just look at my relatives....


Best,

Scott

When the "$hit hits the fan, and all those around you are scxared,
find the guy who smiles and is confident. Find Scotty...
Help him, be by his side....
You will live....

 

[AU24K]

Oh, yeah,
Now I draw an X.
Scrabble?

Reminds me of yet another story from the past....

Once, several years ago, I dated a gal who was a teaching Assistant at the University of Kansas.

One night, I asked if she would like to play Scrabble. Perhaps Chess...Over a bottle of wine....
She asked which? I replied, "Both."

We played both...at the same time!
When it was my turn to play a word at Scrabble, it was her turn to make a move at Chess.
And "visa-versa."

I was ALWAYS WAITING ON HER TO MAKE A MOVE.
I eventually won both games.
She was pissed...
Said that I wasn't smart enough to beat her.
I just smiled, soothed her ego and made love to her....;

"Sorry about that my Love......."

I surmised that she was looking for a pigeon that she could control.
But, Y'all know that Scotty's a "Freebird!"


Scott

 

[Togreenfeet]

Joke of the day — I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort Benning, and one requirement was a demanding 20 - mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for the trek.

An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would ever come. "Men," our sergeant yelled, "you're doing a fine job. We've already covered four miles!"

Revitalized, we picked up the pace. "And," continued Sarge, "we should reach the starting point any minute now."

 

[bill from lachine]

2GF,

Thanks for the chuckles....lol.

Here's a tune for the crew.

Sissel - Shenandoah.