CRISPINS CRITTERS

[Togreenfeet]

23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.
24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it’s true.
25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
26. Never tell a German soldier that “We kicked your ass in World War 2!”
27. Don’t tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).
28. Don’t take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
35. Not allowed to sing “High Speed Dirt” by Megadeth during airborne operations. (“See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I’m off to meet my maker”)


But wait there's more.........................

 

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[Togreenfeet]

HAHAHAHA where do you all come up with this stuff? I needed this thanks backbacon

 

[releventchair]

​

But sometimes they just step up and make announcements.

 

[Backbacon]

23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.
24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it’s true.
25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
26. Never tell a German soldier that “We kicked your ass in World War 2!”
27. Don’t tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).
28. Don’t take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
35. Not allowed to sing “High Speed Dirt” by Megadeth during airborne operations. (“See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I’m off to meet my maker”)


Bit wait there's more.........................

A remember a episode of the show The A Team where Murdock had a sock puppet, it was hilarious.

 

[Togreenfeet]

Thanks GIB I called my dad. He is a Vietnam vet. I'm still talking to him. I thank you for reaching out to me.........my dad calms me down , thank you so very much friend. I'm still talking to pops. He's my step dad.....we are good buddies.......thank you for reaching out


I made the call............thanks friend. They too said thank yu for giving me the number

 

[releventchair]

 

[Backbacon]

HAHAHAHA where do you all come up with this stuff? I needed this thanks backbacon

Let's just say that I'm not your average Bear.

 

[Backbacon]

 

[Backbacon]

 

[Togreenfeet]

No backbacon you are definately not my average naked bear hahaha

 

[Togreenfeet]

 

[Backbacon]

No backbacon you are definately not my average naked bear hahaha

Grrrrrr

 

[Togreenfeet]

If she only knew what I would do for, I mean to, I mean with her.................

 

[Togreenfeet]

Did you realize under our clothes.......................we are all naked.........

 

[Backbacon]

 

[Togreenfeet]

37. Our medic is called “Sgt Greenfeet”, not “Dr. Feelgood”.
38. Our supply Sgt is “Sgt Watkins” not “Sugar Daddy”.
39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
40. I do not have super-powers.
41. “Keep on Trucking” is *not* a psychological warfare message.
42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind’s baser instincts in recruitment posters.
43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
45. I am not allowed to “Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddy’s little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”.
46. I am not authorized to fire officers.
47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.

but wait theres more..................

 

[Backbacon]

Did you realize under our clothes.......................we are all naked.........

Not my pal Vinchenzo, he has a natural fur coat under his shirt.

 

[Togreenfeet]

except for your italian pal Vinnie........

 

[G.I.B.]

Let's just say that I'm not your average Bear.

 

[Backbacon]

37. Our medic is called “Sgt Greenfeet”, not “Dr. Feelgood”.
38. Our supply Sgt is “Sgt Watkins” not “Sugar Daddy”.
39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
40. I do not have super-powers.
41. “Keep on Trucking” is *not* a psychological warfare message.
42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind’s baser instincts in recruitment posters.
43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
45. I am not allowed to “Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddy’s little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”.
46. I am not authorized to fire officers.
47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.

but wait theres more..................

Back in my Hockey playing days we called our teams doctor "Dr. Feelgood".