cheating wives

This is really heartbreaking, but I have no idea what you are going through. I never cheated and they never cheated. All I got was the, " well, if you won't marry me I think we should see other people". My answer was a shrug and an Ok, no problem. Boy am I glad I stayed single. Students used to ask me, " who are you with this week"? Hope it works out for you...
 

cheating in my opinion is an unforgivable betrayal I would rather be alone than with a cheater. If someone is thinking of cheating then there is something wrong with the marrige they need to figure out what it is try to fix it if it is unfixable then they should get out of the marriage BEFORE sleeping with someone else.
 

looks like your playing Robert De niro in the movie Casino. Just couldn't give up on Sharon Stone Watch it and see how it ends:dontknow:
 

I know how you feel. I am so sorry you & your children have to go through this. Just please remember everything you say affects your kids. Don't let them hear the fighting, & don't vent to them. You can get through this, but it won't be easy, & oh ya, dump the wife, she's not worth it.
 

Well maybe life will get better. She shut my phone off yesterday and is acting like all this is my fault
 

civil_war22 said:
Well maybe life will get better. She shut my phone off yesterday and is acting like all this is my fault
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Why "DID SHE" SHUT YOUR PHONE OFF? Don't get me wrong but I reread your posting and you said you were in law enforcement for 5 years?

If "SHE" SHUT YOUR PHONE OFF, it seems to appear she has control over you and YOU ARE NOT MANNING UP and YOU ARE LETTING HER GET AWAY WITH IT!!

You know the old saying, "Give someone an inch and they take a mile"? No offense, but it seems that you need quite a bit of growing up to do!

I know this is a public forum and there is nothing wrong with asking for advice from people you don't even know, but if you are going to put all your problems and laundry out there and keep allowing and getting walked and stepped on by your wife by her TRYING to make you feel guilty, then the only answer anyone can say is, "You asked for it, you put up with it, you deserve it!"

Kind of like someone keeps burning themselves with matches, sooner or later they are going to go up in flames!

Take my advice;

1. GROW UP AND TAKE CHARGE!

2. GET ALL THE EVIDENCE AND PROOF OF HER WRONG DOINGS!

3. FILE FOR DIVORCE, THEN KICK HER A$$ OUT!

4. THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR KIDS AND YOUR WIFE NOT EVEN IN IT!

5. KEEP YOUR SANITY!!

6. LAST BUT NOT LEAST, READ MY LAST POSTING AND TAKE ADVICE FROM THERE AS WELL!

7. GOOD LUCK!

P.S. ONCE A CHEATER WILL ALWAYS BE A CHEATER!!! THAT MY FRIEND WILL NEVER CHANGE!
 

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I have grown up and yes was in law enforcement five years but the only reason I haven't left is because the kids. I don't want to see them unhappy. Which right now they don't see us fight or not get along but it's getting too close. Don't get me wrong only reason I posted this was to hear of anyone else with similar circumstances
 

Maybe this will help you out a bit. Aids, Herpes,....ect.
 

From reading what your saying, your not gonna leave . Are these actual physical affairs or are they Online affairs. An affair is an affair, but I think most of us would be most horrified by the thought of a physical affair. If they are physical and you already caught her once ... It don't look good. If they are mental ones .... Are there signs she is having a mental issue of some sort ?
You need to man up, this is coming from a woman , so listen up. From what I can tell, she has the power ... Acting as though it's your fault and turning YOUR phone off?? You didn't leave after the first time, She's not in fear of losing you. You need to scare her straight , if you want to keep this together.
She will not respect you or want you till she sees she is going to lose you. I know you don't want to disrupt the girls' lives,but She placed this burden on the family.. She needs to own up to it.
I don't care what your schedules are, you need to figure out a way to Seperate . Either she leaves or you do. If you have to leave you come a d take the girls in the evening ... I know not seeing them will be the hardest part. But again . Their mother brought this on them .
That Anger towards the other man is wasted.. Turn it towards your wife.. She is the betrayer. Get angry! In Anger there is strength we don't know we have. Pray. Ask God for guidance . In a crisis , I turn to God . If your a man of faith. You go somewhere alone far from people.. You cry , scream, beat the ground... Whatever you need to do.. And go to Him and talk as open and honest as you know how and ask him to guide you. You can't hide anything from Him anyway. If your pissed at Him he knows it, it's human. Open up , pour it out , and then just listen. I know I got my answer when I'm at total peace and completely resolved with what next step I need to take. When it sits right in your gut, it's His answer.
If you leave and she lets you go without a struggle... It was never going to work, no matter what you do. She did you a favor by letting you move on.
In case you don't know , women don't cheat for reasons men do. It's all mental. I'm imAgining from what you saw it was sexual in nature... On the surface it is... Far below.. Where she probably dont even realize it, there is a mental battle going on and she is trying to fill a void. Sometime your going to have to take a look Inward and admit things about yourself that Arnt going to feel good .. Two sides to every story . Either your gonna have to admit to yourself what happened in the relationship that made her have a void, or why you allowed yourself to be abused.
Good Luck . I'll pray for you and your girls.
 

i am sorry you are going through this, its hard to believe now but in 6 months you will be glad it is over. i went through this with my first wife, never realized how miserable i actually was until months later and i was removed from the situation. i am now married to a wonderful woman and my soul mate. one of my favorite quotes is
it is better to have loved and lost than to have lived with an idiot.
 

Been there and gone through that years ago, RUN, don`t walk away. Set things up so you can a life with your kids, it won`t take long to realize it will be the best decision you ever made. You Will find your soulmate out there, yes it will happen, took me a couple of years but 22 years later we are still together. Do what you gotta do.
 

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
 

Civil War, dump that piece of trash now!!!! A guy I work with is in almost the exact same situation and is reacting as you have. It will never get better only worse. Just reading this thread has got my blood boiling as this is so common. Facebook is probably the single biggest avenue for people to start cheating. We do not have Facebook in our home, just what is the point to have Facebook anyway? What good could possibly come of it?
MAN UP AND DUMP THIS LOW LIFE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!:BangHead:
 

dieselram94 said:
Civil War, dump that piece of trash now!!!! A guy I work with is in almost the exact same situation and is reacting as you have. It will never get better only worse. Just reading this thread has got my blood boiling as this is so common. Facebook is probably the single biggest avenue for people to start cheating. We do not have Facebook in our home, just what is the point to have Facebook anyway? What good could possibly come of it?
MAN UP AND DUMP THIS LOW LIFE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!:BangHead:
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The only reason I signed up for facebook was to get birthday wishes:laughing7: In fact I got 7 today.
 

onfire said:
The only reason I signed up for facebook was to get birthday wishes:laughing7: In fact I got 7 today.
Click to expand...
Now you got eight! Happy birthday! LOL!
 

CW. Jimmi is telling you the truth. The fact that her response and suggestion COMING from a woman should tell you like the rest of us here that you need to seek guidence from the Master, (Not me!!), the "OTHER MASTER"! I know I was trying to be funny!

God will give yoyu great things, but you have to pray for it, but also keep a good strong level head and do the right thing. Sometimes people do what our hearts feel, (even though it may seem right), and private parts, rather than using our brains and be smart about it!

Let me tell you a little bit about control. My girlfriend, which really she isn't, we lived together for over 11 years and even though our relationship is nothing to almost she will not even have conversations with me. People ask me why stay. Sometimes it is hard to leave even when we are civil to each other, but neither of us are seeing anyone or abusing each other. Yes, I love her, and I know she loves me, but things happened in our relationship that soured pretty much due to her GROWN KIDS! One daughter gets involved with guys, move them in, then relationship goes sour, kicks them out, turns to becoming a drunk because she is lonely, quist going to work, almost forecloses her house, well here comes mom to the rescue. Yes, I understand parents are going to be parents, but if you got a child in their late 30's that every 8-10 months year after year same thing over and over again, it is time to let them fall!!

Then her other daughter, I really feel sorry for her husband, because her daughter tells her husband he has to hand over his paycheck because she is the main bresad winner in the family and if he wants to buy something like a new motorcycle helmet, new tirs for his dirt bike, anything, she tells him he either has to sell something or make extra money because there was NO WAY he was going to use any money from his paycheck! YEah, pretty flippen sad. Well this same daughter influenced her mother because when I had my buisness working the motorcycle rally circuit her daughter didn't like the fact I was home everyday and didn't have a regular job. Well I confronted this daughter and told her it was none of her damn business what I do and if I wanted to sit around for 6 months and do nothing, pay bills, and what nots I will do so as NO ONE was supporting me. I even asked her daughter when I confronted her when was the last time she made $26,000 in 3 1/2 days on a weekend? I even told her my last year gross sales was $98,000 1/3 more than what she made at the time in 2009. That shut her up real quick when I told her if you compiled the days back to back for the year I worked, you would have 4 months of work! Mom didn't care that I went to her daughter, (she favors), and confronted her.

Lets just say our conversation didn't end well when I told her just continue to work for the man and never amount to anything!

So this was the problem with our relationship, but I do my thing and she does hers. Neighter one of us have not cheated, screwed around or anything. I know I do have plans to move out because I want someone in my life to make me happy as I will them, but I am not in a hurry to jump into the fire!

But I know some people may have issues of being with someone for so long that they fear venturing out on their own again and being single. The chocie is yours that you have to make. Keep your sanity and move on and start a new life, or be miserable the rest of your lives. Let me tell you one thing. You may not think your children know and they may not know, but when it does come to the time they get older, they will hear, they will see, and they WILL KNOW what is going on. I known some friends who stayed for the kids and their kids seen quite a bit, and guess what? The kids lived their life the same way because a child growing up in that situation thinks it is totally normal and OK to live like that.

You need to think on that part as well!

You got plenty of good advice from many people with experiences here. Like Jimmi said, go somewhere all by yourself and ask for help, get away from anything that is a distraction. There are also mens groups in every city that will help in situations and how to deal with them.

My therapy is getting out on my motorcycle and riding out into the country about 200 miles round trip, sometimes 300, and yes, I know it may not be the right way to speak to god and ask for guidence, (this is not the only time I speak to him BTW), but I tell you, not only do I get to see beautiful country side, I also come back with a peace of mind and see the world in a part that he has created for us to enjoy and he gives me a much more clearer head to think with!!
 

Jesus man that's awful my ex wife did that to me my third tour in the Middle East it sucks but it only gets better from here dude keep your head up and boot her, find someone that will treat u right and makes you happy brother!!! LIFE'S WAY WAY TOO SHORT TO BE MISERABLE AND WASTE IT!!
 

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