cheating wives

[civil_war22]

Geez what is it with women these days that act like cheating is no big deal. I mean i will be the first to say i am a complete dumb butt for staying with my wife when i found out in 09 but gave her a chance. Well it went on after that and before long it was a different guy every 6 months. Well now its 2013 and she is still doing it. Just caught her in a lie lastnight and she acts like its all my fault that she does what she does. Eventhough i have never told her that she couldn't go somewhere or anything like that i sit home and watch the kids while she goes out. Well i started noticing it when she would hide her phone a lot and then one day she left it out and i looked. Omg i felt like going ww3 on who she was seeing

 

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[CoilyGirl]

Definitely NOT your fault no matter what.I'm sorry this happened to you,I don't know that I could stay have been cheated on,the ultimate betrayal.Are there children in your marriage?No one deserves to be cheated on.

 

[digging440yrs]

LIFE IS TO SHORT, I WOULD BE GONE OR SHE WOULD GONE----TRUST IS HUGE IN MY BOOK--JUST MY OPINION--GOOD LUCK MAN

 

[civil_war22]

Yea we have a 5 and 8 year old daughters. Trust is a big thing but i honestly thought that she would change and guess she decided that my feelings didn't mean much

 

[Treasure_Hunter]

CW, went through that with my first wife, I know it hurts but the best theing you can do for you and your family is move on, she has proven she can never be trusted..... Move on and build a new life, the sooner the better..

 

[CoilyGirl]

Yea we have a 5 and 8 year old daughters. Trust is a big thing but i honestly thought that she would change and guess she decided that my feelings didn't mean much

That's tough civilwar22,really tough because I'm sure just walking away would be hard on your daughters.My prayers are with you that you find your answer in how to handle this the best way.

 

[civil_war22]

Yea i hope i can figure this out. Sad part is even when caught red handed she doesn't even admit to it and then blames it on me for what she does. And through this all i don't wanna pay her back or cheat i just wanted her

 

[ivan salis]

psst , hey buddy I hate to tell you this but "your kids" might not be yours * many women who cheat will happily let the "good guy"think HE IS the "father" of their kids even if he is not * you would not the first "baby sitter" daddy , who's been giving over all his cash for the bills , cleaning and upkeeping the house and tending the kids , who are not even his --women who cheat love to find a "soft hearted /aka to them as a soft headed" man to keep the bills paid and the home straightened up and their kids watched and who will not leave em --"for the sake of
OUR kids"

 

[CoilyGirl]

Yea i hope i can figure this out. Sad part is even when caught red handed she doesn't even admit to it and then blames it on me for what she does. And through this all i don't wanna pay her back or cheat i just wanted her

Well if you can ,send her packing and unless you can take care if the children by yourself make sure you get visitation rights with the girls(I'm sure you will since she was cheating on you,judges frown upon that sort of thing) a really good source to figure out what your rights are as a dad you can Google Handle On The Law,great website .

 

[Peyton Manning]

if you KNOW she's a serial cheater and has been for years the decision should be easy. if you stay you know what you're gonna get.

 

[civil_war22]

Ivan done got dna tests done. They do that at Indian hospital down here as common practice. Jeff u are right my friend. I love that i have the support of my fellow detectorists

 

[ivan salis]

well with a stone known cheater , sadly you got to get dna testing on your own kids * just to be sure your not being played for a patsy -- I too had a cheater that forced me to have to do dna testing on my kids to be sure * I hated doing it , thankfully the test showed like 98% mine , so yes they were mine --but the cheating kept up and since I could no longer trust or respect her as a man should be able to trust his wife , and I could no longer sleep with her for fear at she might transmit a disease to me from some of the "others" she slept with --and she was a horrible money blower as well --I had no choice but to divorce her.

 

[civil_war22]

U are definitely stronger than i Ivan. I didn't have to even worry about her cheating till after our 2nd. We have dated since middle school and were in same classes and everything. i guess she just thinks i stole her youth from her

 

[icedgold10]

Some people are just like that. My ex did that and I handed him his things through a chained door ( after I scrubbed the toilet with his toothbrush). My theory is if you don't boot them the first time your are giving them permission to do it. Take your children and make a new better life. I did it and don't have any regrets. If someone doesn't respect you as a human being they are not worth the heartache.

 

[civil_war22]

She is to stupid to realize that in this state the judges frown upon infidelity and not caring about anything but yourself. I was a deputy sheriff for 5 years and know how pissed these judges get about the daddy having to watch children cause mommy is unfaithful

 

[foiler]

Do you want your daughters to learn your wife's values?

 

[DeepseekerADS]

I raised my daughters alone while they witnessed their mother's insanity. It was very difficult through the pre-teen and teenaged years. Prayed everyday, and often through the day for the patience to never be angry with them, regardless of what they did. My tongue has so many teeth marks in it, but never said a negative word to them, or about their mother - just chose silence instead. They don't even talk to their mother now because of what she has done, and it wasn't just the other guy. She chose him over them.

So civil_war22, it is time for you to be an example of a good man for your children.

You are the only one they have.

 

[CoilyGirl]

I raised my daughters alone while they witnessed their mother's insanity. It was very difficult through the pre-teen and teenaged years. Prayed everyday, and often through the day for the patience to never be angry with them, regardless of what they did. My tongue has so many teeth marks in it, but never said a negative word to them, or about their mother - just chose silence instead. They don't even talk to their mother now because of what she has done, and it wasn't just the other guy. She chose him over them.

So civil_war22, it is time for you to be an example of a good man for your children.

You are the only one they have.

Well said Deepseeker.

 

[onfire]

First off I think you have to be totally honest with your girls If it be me (and somehow still in lv) I would change any bank accounts (Depends who's the supporter) to just your name. Put a few bucks away, plan to change the locks and take the kids to Disneyland, for a week or so.

Now it's just me I would pre plan a night she's out and have a pod box outside the house and fill it with everything (Except her clothes) and store it for that week. Just leaving her a message. If she complains to the cops tell them you left cause you were having the house painted kids didn't like the smell.

you either take control of this thing or you're going to lose it all. Just wait till she tells you "Your out and this dude is in"!

 

[TheHarleyMan2]

Civil_War22, Let me give you some GREAT ADVICE, being I have been on your side of the fence before, (No I wasn't seeing your wife!)

I have been married more than once and many times my spouses ended up cheating. It wasn't the fact I wasn't a loving husband or good intimately. Reasons in todays society the internet has played a MAJOR ROLE in breaking up marriages! Yes, both MEN AND WOMEN live on the internet whether it being at home all day, or right after they get in from work and remain on it for hours instead of spending time with family. When the internet first came out with AOL many spouses cheated and left their spouses for someone they DIDN'T even know much less meet until they actually made plans to "HOOK UP"! Some cases people had "FALLEN IN LOVE" with the person on the other end without ever meeting them, even before cell phones became a major part of our lives!

My last wife was in the Army reserves while at the same time I was in the National Guard. I red handedly caught my wife at the time in the act of sexual contact in the guys pick up, (which was one of her lower ranking soldiers). I had our 2 kids in the car, (ages 2 and 3), and I kindly walked up to his truck with the passenger side door open pair of feet up and a pair of feet down sticking out, said plainly, nice picture while I snapped a photo, and told her don't bother coming home. Of course Texas is a non adultry state so I couldn't do anything but being she was in the service I contacted the Army Advisors office after I called her commander and he plainly said it wasn't his business and what they do after duty is none of his business and he didn't care. I informed him of UCMJ actions with cheating with military spouses agaisnt both of them and he didn't care. So I went to the Army Advisor when I got no where with her commander! The only thing the Army Advisor did was inform her commander that he better make sure it stops and take actions. Which he never did!

We seperated for 2 weeks and she pleaded with me to try and make it work and even agreed to couseling. But I let her back in because I was thinking about the kids needing both parents. We went to couseling and when I spoke up of all the things she did and me catching her in the act, she would always storm out and would never face her faults and interrupted everytime I said something when the couselor wanted me to talk. So a year and a half I had a "room mate" and she refused to change units, never slept in bed with me since I let her back in, never tended to the kids except pick them up from day care, I was the one who fed and bathed them, and did everything with them when I got in from work. She didn't do anything except tell them good night!

Well all it did was buy her time, which I later found out, her mom and dad, (both of which never liked me to begin with because I wouldn't "BOW DOWN" to them, and they paid all her attorney fees and bought out the judge a year and a half later. I lost the house everything to include not seeing my children for a year during our seperation, then they gave me supervised visitation once a month for 5 hours for no reason at all!

Yeah, I had 2 attorneys because the first one resigned from representing me because everything I had that was admissible in court the judge denied. Only figured because her daddy bought out the judge!

So I DO NOT know what state you live in and being your wife has been doing this you have to make a choice which will be tough, but if you want your sanity you have to make the RIGHT CHOICE!

You either EXCEPT the fact your wife is cheating and live with it! Or you take actions to file for divorce, (MAKE SURE YOU HAVE DOCUMENTED EVIDENCE, PHOTOS, HIRE A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR TO GET VIDEOS, Buy a key logger for your computer to see excatly what she IS saying and doing on the computer and to whom, buy a spy program you can get for any cell phone to listen in on actual phone conversations, recieve text messages from both, emails, etc. Then get all your evidence, kick her out, file for divorce, get custody of your kids and make her pay you child support!

Quit being "MR NICE GUY"! Things are NOT GOING TO CHANGE and SHE CERTAINLY ISNT GOING TO CHANGE, because you caught her before and let her stay, so of course she KNOWS you will not doing anything hense the reason she ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE OR STOP!

Word of advice, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES SHE TELLS YOU SHE WILL CHANGE TO PREVENT FROM LOSING IT ALL, IGNORE IT BECAUSE SHE IS ONLY SEEING YOU AS A "SUCKER"!

Please don't take offense to anything I said here. It isn't meant to be offensive, I am just telling you the truth!

Some states are adultry states and if you live in one, you can certainly bet YOU WILL GET EVERYTHING TO INCLUDE HOUSE AND THE KIDS! And you can have her SUPERVISED while she sees the kids!

You can find someone better, if not, you just raise your kids and let people see you as the BEST DAD ANY KIDS COULD HAVE!

I will say I will NEVER marry again. Yeah I said NEVER and I WILL NEVER. My philosophy is, "Better to live in sin, than to be married in hell"! At least when it doesn't work out, you make them pack their bags! Oh, on that note, STAY OUT OF COMMON LAW STATES!!!!!!!

Hope this all helps you!