A Moral Dilemma --- HELP!

[Ed-D]

This past Sunday I found a nice man's 10K high school class ring from the class of 1955. The school is still around and is local to me. I always want to try and return class rings to the original owner and I've been working these past couple of days doing just that only to find out that the original owner is deceased. Because I went through the alumni association of the high school they contacted the family, so they are now aware of someone finding the ring.

In the email from the alumni association they said the family is on vacation and they will contact me once they return in a couple of weeks. At this point I do not know what relation the person(s) are, the alumni rep just refereed to them as "the family".

Am I obligated to give the ring to anyone? What should I do?

A) Give the ring to the family member and forget about it.
B) Try to understand the family member's situation. I mean I'd hate to give it to them only to have them hock it for beer money.
C) Ask the family member if they would agree to have it displayed at the school with a picture of the deceased and a bio in their honor.
D) Other - suggestions welcome.

I want it to be option C, but not sure what the family will want or agree to.

...stressed

 

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[Mekong Mike]

I agree with Argentium. Keep it or give it ....no strings attached.

 

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[Digger2]

You might wish to document the return with photos or even a local media story. This will give you credibility in future when you seek permission to hunt, and also is good PR for the hobby.

Doing what coinbug suggest has benefits for both the receiver and the giver of the ring. It solves your moral issue and it gives you more than the monetary value of the ring.
Just my $.02

Roy

 

[Erik in NJ]

I lost my grandmothers ring she left to me in her will. It was a white gold possibly platinum 1 1/2 carat diamond with twelve 1/2 carats surrounding it.
She died when I was 10. She showed me more love in 10 years than I have had in a lifetime and I have a wonderful life.
Imagine how I would feel to have that returned?
I was her favorite and she mine. I miss her every day and I am 42.
PS: I lost in DuBois PA in 1993ish. If anyone found it, I'd love it back.
Now talk about something I will never see again. Sure it is not a class ring but it has more meaning to me than I could ever express.
You just never know....

Hope you find that ring Jessica! Now that you detect, why not go back with detector in hand and look for it?

 

[Citiboy289]

Return the ring and your conscious will be clean. What they do with it is on them.

I agree your mind will be clear !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your honesty will come back to you ten times for your actions

 

[Jessicamae3]

Hope you find that ring Jessica! Now that you detect, why not go back with detector in hand and look for it?

I am sure it is long gone. I worked at the ramada inn and feel like it fell off between time I left work and got into car. So it was in a parking lot.

 

[CASPER-2]

All sizes | MAKING A CLASS RING RETURN | Flickr - Photo Sharing!
I made a return last year - was told the owner was on his death bed
so I agreed to return it to his family - was told his colledge degree meant the worl to him
and that they would either bury it with him or hand it down to his grandson

If you had your mind set on making the return - make the return
it will make you feel good and probably his family too

 

[Gridwalker306]

Correct answer IMO is A.

The law of finders isn't "finders keepers," popular belief notwithstanding. The ring properly belongs to this man's heirs, if any.

You might wish to document the return with photos or even a local media story. This will give you credibility in future when you seek permission to hunt, and also is good PR for the hobby.

I absolutely agree with coinbug. Hopefully the relative receiving the ring would be a son or daughter, or maybe a grandchild. The relative might take it more seriously if you ask to get a photo, and explain that you are so happy to return it. I'm sure they will appreciate it!

A couple of years ago I found a silver bracelet in my wife's relatives yard. The relative knew it belonged to the people who used to live in the house. I returned the bracelet through the relative, and I never even got a phone call from the rightful owner thanking me for returning it. Despite the fact that I never got a "thank you", it still felt good to return it. The best part is that I can tell other property owners that I have made jewelry returns in the past, they always warm up a bit when they hear that.

 

[ironman]

You know, I would give it back to family.
You found it and the owner for a reason. Maybe someone in his family is missing him so much and this is a message for them from him. Maybe someone in his family needs money and this is his way to help them hock it for some cash.
I think that would be amazing if it belonged to my family member. I truly would think you a hero and your honesty commendable!
Regardless, I feel there is reason and purpose in everything that happens everyday to us.
I think it is awesome you found that and could track it down to find the owner. How much fun for you. I only find cans and pieces of wire.
At the end of the day, you have to do what feels right to you! Perhaps this find was for you to do something special for you! What feels right to you is the right thing to do. You will probably get a very good feel about the situation when they return from vacay and contact you. Please share the outcome! Fun story!!!

Well said

 

[bzbadger]

Returning it to immediate family is the proper thing to do however if its some distant cousin I would have mixed feelings. Sister,brother,child or grandchild is easier to believe they have actual interest in that person, then again you might have a cousin who was very close to that person. I don't envy your position but I admire you for taking the steps to return it. If you give it back it is off your conscience but I would take pictures of it and take pics with the person I returned it to just to cover your rear.

Get your facts first, then distort them as you please-Mark Twain

 

[BuckleBoy]

I think the argument of "keep or return with no strings attached" does not apply at this point, since the family has already been notified. Your option is to return it to a family member. Get the publicity of asking for an article about its return in a local paper.

Anytime something can be returned, do it. Doesn't matter whether it is to a direct heir or not. One of my farmers is fourth generation on the property and has requested I return everything I find to him. I said "no problem. Allow me to photograph, clean, preserve, and put it in a display and I will give it all to you." After 22 years, my collection is taking over my life. When you've been digging as long as I have, notions such as "ownership" matter much, much less. Besides, I'd rather Find and not Own, than Own and not Find.

Keep digging. You'll recover many nice rings without school names and initials on them.

Regards,

Buck

 

[Gridwalker306]

I'd rather Find and not Own, than Own and not Find.


Buck

Haha I agree!

 

[XLTer]

I think that when you contacted the alum assoc you made the decision right there to return it. You can't put restrictions on who is family once you declare look what I found. The school ran them down as related so that should be the end of it unless the family says "Keep it".

Rick

I agree with rickv . The only thing I would add , is ask if you could get a picture with the person recieving the ring so you can add that to your collection of finds .

 

[WildDigger]

Don't feel bad for what ever you decide. It is yours and you found it. Keep it, melt it, give it back it is all good.

 

[pepperj]

In reading your post and the family member is on holidays for a few weeks one can kind of assume they're not destitute. Return the ring and you'll have a good feeling most believe and maybe returning the at the school might be special, just a thought.

 

[McClod]

The OP is asking for responses as to the moral thing to do. Once you bring "moral" into the equation, you also bring personal values and judgment along with it. For me, there's a difference (all things equal) between, say, one's son and one's nephew. I'd give the ring to the son no questions asked. If he choses to sell it, that's his prerogative. In my book, the nephew doesn't have that same status, and thus, wouldn't be given the same consideration. Nothing wrong with differing views, but that is mine.

TCK

As you stated, we all have differing views, but who am I to say a son deserves it more than a nephew? That nephew could possibly have been closer to his uncle than his son ever was....we don't know. The only thing I know for certain is the nephew, or cousin is closer to the man that I have ever been if it were I that found it. I'm not making a judgement no matter what the OP doe's, it's his delima not mine, just sharing my own personal view and perspective.

 

[TheCoinKid]

McClod

I actually agree with you. The nephew (in my example) could be closer than the son. I tried to cover that possibility with my "all things equal" qualifier, but I guess it didn't come out as clear as I intended.

In any event, I don't want to take anything away from the OP's find and goal to "do the right thing".

TCK

 

[l2hunt]

well, you opened the line of communication so now follow through, and like some one else said with no strings attached....i think the family will be very appreciative

 

[Ed-D]

I returned the ring to the man's son. You can see my post about it here.

 

[Gridwalker306]

Very cool. I sort of figured it would go smooth like that, and the family would be happy!

 

[treblehunter]

I think the argument of "keep or return with no strings attached" does not apply at this point, since the family has already been notified. Your option is to return it to a family member. Get the publicity of asking for an article about its return in a local paper.

Anytime something can be returned, do it. Doesn't matter whether it is to a direct heir or not. One of my farmers is fourth generation on the property and has requested I return everything I find to him. I said "no problem. Allow me to photograph, clean, preserve, and put it in a display and I will give it all to you." After 22 years, my collection is taking over my life. When you've been digging as long as I have, notions such as "ownership" matter much, much less. Besides, I'd rather Find and not Own, than Own and not Find.

Keep digging. You'll recover many nice rings without school names and initials on them.

Regards,

Buck

Nice, very well put