A Moral Dilemma --- HELP!

[Ed-D]

This past Sunday I found a nice man's 10K high school class ring from the class of 1955. The school is still around and is local to me. I always want to try and return class rings to the original owner and I've been working these past couple of days doing just that only to find out that the original owner is deceased. Because I went through the alumni association of the high school they contacted the family, so they are now aware of someone finding the ring.

In the email from the alumni association they said the family is on vacation and they will contact me once they return in a couple of weeks. At this point I do not know what relation the person(s) are, the alumni rep just refereed to them as "the family".

Am I obligated to give the ring to anyone? What should I do?

A) Give the ring to the family member and forget about it.
B) Try to understand the family member's situation. I mean I'd hate to give it to them only to have them hock it for beer money.
C) Ask the family member if they would agree to have it displayed at the school with a picture of the deceased and a bio in their honor.
D) Other - suggestions welcome.

I want it to be option C, but not sure what the family will want or agree to.

...stressed

 

Amazon Forum Fav 👍

Cry Of The Eagle: History And Legends Of The Cherokee Indians And Their Buried Treasure - Grab it through Amazon!

[pong12211]

I would first hear what the family had to say before making a decision.. You found it so it's rightfully yours.. But if this is a person who was close with his family then you know what you have to do.. I don't admire your situation but you will know what the right thing is to do when you need to.. Good luck.

 

[pippinwhitepaws]

keep the ring...or give it back with no strings...

anything else is just making trouble for everyone.

 

[The Rebel]

Return the ring and your conscious will be clean. What they do with it is on them.

 

[IAsoldier]

Hand it to them but never no they might not want it either and give it back to ya. That what happen to my buddy when he found a class ring.

 

[TheCoinKid]

If you connect with the man's wife or one of his kids, I would hand it over, no questions asked. Anyone else, I would go to option B. (I, personally, wouldn't hand it over to just any shirt-tail relative.)

As far as option C. goes, I don't see why the dug ring of a class of '55 deceased graduate warrants a special school display. Just my opinion.

Congrats on the find and your desire to do the right thing.

TCK

 

[Argentium]

Just give it to the family - no strings , no complications ,really no need for a display - enjoy the blessing of being able to return a nice
ring to the guys family !

(I don't see the "moral dilemma " here - if the folks want to trade the ring for cheap beer, or meth. for that matter,
that's none of our concern .)

 

[Erik in NJ]

Hi Ed,

I think there's a good chance that there will be a sibbling, a child, or a granchild that would be thrilled to receive the ring back. I'd say that someone selling the ring is unlikely and you will know when you meet or speak to a person. Try to avoid the hypothetical "what if they just put it on eBay" trap--many just use this to justify keeping a find. Sounds like you want to do a good thing and return it and I respect you for it. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

 

[rickv14623]

I think that when you contacted the alum assoc you made the decision right there to return it. You can't put restrictions on who is family once you declare look what I found. The school ran them down as related so that should be the end of it unless the family says "Keep it".

Rick

 

[McClod]

I think by virtue of your question that you know the right thing for you to do is probably going to be to just return it to a family member who in all likeliness it will be far more valuable than its weight in gold! If its bothering you enough now that you post about it here, it will probably be that way the rest of your days wondering if you did the right thing! If you give it to the family you will always have the happy memory of reuniting a loved one with something that is a tangible connection to the lost family member. Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[TheCoinKid]

The OP is asking for responses as to the moral thing to do. Once you bring "moral" into the equation, you also bring personal values and judgment along with it. For me, there's a difference (all things equal) between, say, one's son and one's nephew. I'd give the ring to the son no questions asked. If he choses to sell it, that's his prerogative. In my book, the nephew doesn't have that same status, and thus, wouldn't be given the same consideration. Nothing wrong with differing views, but that is mine.

TCK

 

[Silver Worm]

A!!!!!!!

 

[coinbug]

Correct answer IMO is A.

The law of finders isn't "finders keepers," popular belief notwithstanding. The ring properly belongs to this man's heirs, if any.

You might wish to document the return with photos or even a local media story. This will give you credibility in future when you seek permission to hunt, and also is good PR for the hobby.

 

[TheCoinKid]

Let us know how this turns out.

 

[Jessicamae3]

You know, I would give it back to family.
You found it and the owner for a reason. Maybe someone in his family is missing him so much and this is a message for them from him. Maybe someone in his family needs money and this is his way to help them hock it for some cash.
I think that would be amazing if it belonged to my family member. I truly would think you a hero and your honesty commendable!
Regardless, I feel there is reason and purpose in everything that happens everyday to us.
I think it is awesome you found that and could track it down to find the owner. How much fun for you. I only find cans and pieces of wire.
At the end of the day, you have to do what feels right to you! Perhaps this find was for you to do something special for you! What feels right to you is the right thing to do. You will probably get a very good feel about the situation when they return from vacay and contact you. Please share the outcome! Fun story!!!

 

[doninbrewster]

I found a heavy silver ID bracelet a number of years ago that had the first and last name on it. I tracked down the owner and returned the bracelet. The owner had recently moved back to the area from Florida after retiring. He said it was a gift from his mother when he was a little boy and remembered how upset he was when he lost it more than 50 years earlier. His mother had passed away 20 years ago. When I handed it back to him and his eyes started to water up it was worth far more that it actual value. The good feeling I had can't be bought with money. The local newspaper did a story on it and had pictures of me handing it back to him. He offered me money, but I already felt like a millionaire and refused. Give it back and see how good you feel. Let us know how it plays out.

 

[Jessicamae3]

I lost my grandmothers ring she left to me in her will. It was a white gold possibly platinum 1 and a 1/2 carat diamond with twelve 1/2 carats surrounding it.
She died when I was 10. She showed me more love in 10 years than I have had in a lifetime and I have a wonderful life.
Imagine how I would feel to have that returned?
I was her favorite and she mine. I miss her every day and I am 42.
PS: I lost in DuBois PA in 1993ish. If anyone found it, I'd love it back.
Now talk about something I will never see again. Sure it is not a class ring but it has more meaning to me than I could ever express.
You just never know....

 

[Ed-D]

All great responses and suggestions. I do agree I want to return it. I prefer a wife, child or nephew/niece. Right now I am waiting to be contacted and the best info I have is that it's a cousin. I'll meet the cousin, see if there are any immediate family and take it from there.

I'll get pictures and update when it's a done deal.

 

[jewelerguy]

option A. hopefully a picture can be taken and a write up for the paper

 

[lookindown]

Its against the law to keep a ring when you know the owner...the owner is deceased so I don't know the law in this case...what you do with it is your business, do whats best for you...good luck.