Trying To Get Back Into The Swing Of Things After My Wife's Passing

[angelito1]

sad to hear about your loss

 

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[silverdollarbill]

Hey dig....really sad to hear this. You seem like a great guy and your posts on tnet is what really got me into yard saling. I only know you from this board, but you seem like one tough SOB to me. Still I can't imagine what you are going through. Stay strong brother.

 

[gilmerman]

I don't know you or can say I know how you feel. I can only say that i would be devastated ot loose my wife so please accept my most sincere wishes for you to gain the peace you deserve for loving her. gilmerman

 

[Beachkid23]

Your post made me cry. We all go through so much and deal with life and need others to fall back on for everything. Loosing that rock in our life can change everything.

Worst for me was my grandma. Man, she taught me most of what I know about sales and Treasure hunting but most importantly life. Even when she could not walk, she made me call her and tell her what I found. I hunted at sales for that phone call with her. Regretted ever moving away, esp when she passed away. My wife doesn’t care or my kids about sales or treasures. But My my grandma.. she wanted to know if I bought something good or was mad if i waisted a .25!

With that being said: Damn its hard, hard to get back, because most others don’t care or just worry about themselves. Man I miss her being there. But I still believe she is here guiding me. as my guardian angel. Call it crazy but there have been so many times I feel her presence. Not even at yardsales but In life in general.

Glad you got back out there, I can’t imagine losing my wife but I hope you find comfort in hunting. And pray she watches over you in all you do! I do believe loved ones are called forever to watch over us. My heart breaks for you and I pray you find comfort again. Message me if there is anything i can do to help.

 

[basssmann]

diggummup, Stay strong my friend. Your doing the right thing, going to sales you enjoy.... My wife of 33 yrs, is in the last stages of Alzheimer's... I go to see her every morning, then metal detect in nature, to easy my soul.... that's what the sales do for you, she is watching and is proud of you. basssmann

 

[diggummup]

Thanks for all the replies everyone. It's much appreciated. Sorry I haven't replied sooner. Been hard lately, haven't been out since this post. Did manage to list a few things and sold a few too. The AA book ends tonight. I sold the Ray Bans earlier this week for $42.99, 2 hours after I dropped the price from $49.99 with 4 watchers. I'm gonna try again this weekend. Hopefully, I'll make it to more than one sale this time.

 

[pulltabfelix]

Diggummup,

So sorry for your loss. I was there in 2010. Lost my wife to cancer after 35 wonderful years. I will pass on how I dealt with this blow.

One day like all days you and your family are happy. then you get the diagnosis of stage 4 cancer. Boom, your world turns upside down. My wife fought it for 7 months before she could fight no more.
After she died, I was in shock. Cannot really tell you who all came to the funeral. Now I am all alone in a home that is no longer like a home. This is what it was like for a year and 1/2.

Here is my advice.

As soon as possible get a dog. A rescue dog who needs you as you need him or her. To have a dog to take care of is a good thing. Get a hunting dog best companions there are, but any dog will do. Dogs are great companions.

Do as you are doing, get your hobby going. During this time you will be alone. Yes you have family and friends but for the most part for the first time in many years you are alone.

I metal detected, collected Marx playset figures and Morgan silver dollars with a passion. Bought most on eBay but some in estate and garage sales and thrift stores. Watch a lot of movies and read a lot.


My rescue dog was a beautiful Brittany that had been shot, a broken leg, a very strong infestation of heart worms and was abandoned at a no kill shelter. He was a hunting dog. He saved my life and he was the best dog I ever had. He pass after seven years with me. RIP my beloved Booth. Having him in bed with me every night was the difference in being able to go to sleep or lay awake for hours just thinking.

Get used to and accept that almost everything around you will remind you of your wife. Very hard thing to do is get rid of her clothes. Just keep in mind that if you give it to charity or relatives you are doing good.

Again, get a rescued dog.

If you work, throw yourself into work. Eventually you will wish to try and find a new companion. When is the right time? Hard to say. You will feel guilty even thinking such thoughts, I promise you that. Don't feel guilty, you have to move on. My two sons came to me after an year and 1/2 and said "Dad, it is ok if you start dating. When you do start meeting other women, be very careful. You are vulnerable, very, very vulnerable. Also you will be sought after since a lot of the good men are married. There are some very strange women out there who will say and do anything.

I met a lot of very nice older women on match.com, but as they say, no chemistry. After a while I gave up dating as a waste of time. About a month later I was still very lonely since for 35 years I had a wonderful companion to share life with and that leaves a big hole in you. Finally I decided that I would only seek out true Christian women. And on the first week on match.com I met my present wife. We both knew within a month that we were meant for each other at this time.

During your day, so many things will remind you of your wife. Don't fight it, just enjoy the good memories. If you have children, do not forget they lost their mom and are every bit as broken up as you are and maybe worse. As are your wife's good friends.

Get a dog.

Peace be with you Brother.


picture of my rescue dog.

 

[diggummup]

[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, Jamrul, sans-serif]pulltabfelix,
Thank you for the kind words of advice. Everything you've said is right on the money. In time I will get better. Luckily no kids together but I am close with her siblings and her son. Actually going up to his house for Easter dinner here in a short while. I have her little rescue Chihuahua mix that she got 5 years ago when her sister died. He's a little pain in the butt (and meaner than a snake sometimes too) but I wouldn't get rid of him for the world. I've tried to get back out to the sales on weekends but honestly there hasn't been anything that's really peaked my interest. Drove around yesterday, went to one, didn't buy anything. Did a drive by on a couple more sales without even getting out. I have been listing a little again lately on ebay. I have enough inventory to last[/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Helvetica, Jamrul, sans-serif], too much actually. So, there's that at least. I'm self employed in the construction industry, my work comes in spurts. My off time is used buying and selling collectibles and such, as a profitable hobby. I should say that's what "we" used to do in my off time. That's the hardest part really, doing all these things alone that you used to do together. Walking around your house, empty feeling, alone, almost scared sometimes. Just because you are alone now. 100 things a day are a reminder of her, yes it's very sad. The best I can do is try to stay busy and keep my mind occupied. I'll be alright eventually. Thanks again for your reply, I appreciate it.[/FONT]

 

[MRBeyer]

Dig, just heard. My condolences.