This is me. I can really use your help in thought and spirit to find myself.

Having been Self employed for a number of years I understand how frustrating it can be and how depression can take hold in the bad times. As bad as things may seem you definately have some things going for you. Being a Vet is definately at the top of that list because your training and experience has taught you to prevail in hard times, as well as programs to help you out such as GI Bill if you decide to re-train and VA loans to help you get that house.

I would definately suggest relocating to a different area if that one's not working out for you, I've had to do it when my work required it, such as now. One of my ex-girlfriends did an internship in rural Kentucky for her Medical Degree and she ended up getting geographical depression while being there. I didn't even know of such a thing until then but once explained to me it made sense. I'm now stuck in GA. on a project, and even though it's not a bad place I understand how the geographical depression can take hold. Man I miss the ocean!...LOL

As far as drumming up work, it's not always easy, you must do marketing and networking. Quite often when you broadcast your efforts you don't get results. Sometimes you have to pick a small market niche and hammer it hard, this concentrated effort will yield results, then you can expand out later. This takes care of the marketing. Networking is easier. Believe it or not the Elks Lodge or Moose Club etc.. are good places to get contacts, but it does take time. I'm in Construction so of course bars have always been good places for me to network, especially in a new town. The dive bars for some contacts and nicer places for others, it's amazing how buying a couple of drinks for people and a good tip for the bartender will get me fast information and contacts in both. It's mainly just getting out there and meeting the necessary people, so pick what works for your situation and run with it.

I guess the main thing is I have been there before and got through it, you will too. Reaching out to others as you have done here definately helps because you get support, ideas, and perspective to help you. We can't do that on our own many times, the old "You can't see the forest for the trees" analogy, so others can help us see the forest when we can't see it ourselves. Just hang in there and you'll find your way eventually and I'll keep you in my prayers. If there's any other way I can help let me know.
 

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Hey there,

While reading your post, I found myself relating ,on many levels ,to your current state of mind.

To keep it short , I think its soooo normal to have thoughts like this. It shows that YOU DO CARE.
And you are not alone. The world just isnt what it used to be. I find myself thinking the exact
things you are all the time. Then I look at my daughter and my wife, think about the good things about living,
and the rest doesnt really seem that big a deal afterward.

You seem very level headed and wise. You know you'll be ok man :) If more people were like you,
the world would be a better place, and thats a fact.

So keep your head up, enjoy your family and hobbies. Dont let the human pond-scum drag you down. Your
better than that. I commend your efforts to do good to and for others. Seems to me that you have
always done just that. Thats what matters. Money is nothing. Sure seems like money is all that matters at
times, but when you think about it hard enough, you realize its far from it. To me, all the money in
the world is worthless, without love, family and friends. Im sure you also know that as well.

If you ask me, you deserve a lifetime vacation, so dont be hard on yourself about the job thing. The right
situation will come , and you'll be wondering why you were all worried about it.

In final, I want to mention a personal situation almost just like this, but involving my Father. He spent alot of years in the Navy, right out of high school. Got married, had kids (me the oldest), and was basically detached from society for quite a while. All over the world, alot of missed time with family and home. When he did finish up in the Navy, he got a job 5 minutes from home, with only a handful of other employees, and spent 23 years straight there. This also kept him literally detached from the rest of the real world. He was stuck in his
own world (as was his wage), while the rest of the world passed him by. I always felt bad for him, as his ideas and mentality just was stuck 20 years in the past.

This affected his family life with us kids and my mother, to the point of almost complete Dysfunctionality.... wasnt good. They struggled with poverty-like life for 30 years, and were VERY depressed for alot of it. Well, after he was laid-off for the 100th time in his career, it looked to be permanent as the company was failing.. so he was in dire need of a job. A friend of his once got him a temp job at the VA hospital in laundry to make
ends meet in the past, and so he applied again there, just with the chance of getting some work. Well, he ended up getting a full time position, working for a Hospital helping fellow veterans. He once felt a little degraded working "laundry", as he felt too much pride for such a thing, but you know what... that man is one PROUD guy now, and he tells me every day how much he loves working there. He literally is a changed man, happy as can be, with a sense of "purpose" finally that most people take for granted. Just that one little laundry position changed my parents whole life... and it wasnt because of the money. ( actually making less).

It was his state of mind that changed, because he finally let himself get out of the rut he was in and just went another direction. Mind you, he did this out of desperation, but like he says also EVERY day .... he wishes sooo badly that he would have done this long ago.... he just didnt realize he could.

So Doug - Im not sure any of this was interesting for you, but I never told that story and it seemed like a
good time to share it. Keep your chin up. And Ill pray for ya too, that you can find the means to get
yourself out of there if need be, or to find what your looking for.... and enjoy your life to the fullest !

Theres a big old Bank just full of silver half dollars somewhere with your name on it ! It will be there waiting,
no rush .. youll see.

Take care man, and hope to see you posting when you get the chance ! I always look forward to seeing your replies to my posts as well.
 

OH almost forgot. Don't pass up the chance to look for work at your local VA.

From my local experience, Veterans get utmost priority in jobs, and the pay and benefits
are Government level. They have jobs for anybody, anytime ! The kicker is they
will kick on all your years of service to your senority and retirement / pension ! My Dad
worked 1 day, and had 8 years vested pension to his employment. Worth looking into.

( wont mention the ridiculous amount of paid vacation... I could only dream LOL)

Best of wishes , Raptor
 

I really cannot begin to thank all of you. I am definately feeling a lot better. I am not necessarily a church going person. But I do believe in the power of God and in the power of the good will and thoughts of others. I moved out of church a long time ago. I just saw it as a place where others were talking about how others are dressed or whatever gossip they could bring. This was in many churches back then, but I think it's time to return.

I came to one definate decision and that is I will be holding on the job search until the new year. After all end of year not a lot of IT hiring, and gonna spend this time with my family and we will try to really dig deep and see our options.

Ok I have gotten a great deal of PM's and answers from many great peps here. So many of you have a piece of what I am going through. All of our situations were unique, but as I suspected we did have some very common ground. I mean no disrespect to those of you that are not Vets by my next statement. I am very grateful for the Vets here and what they went through and them sharing it with me. Now with that statement I will say that if it were not for good honest working people that are not military, then the military would not have much of a job to be proud of. Without your support and what you do then our missions would be meaningless and the morale and spirit of that huge family would not be what it is.

Many of you hit the Vet part correctly. We are and always will be a huge family. The strength we gained as being part of such a bigger thing really does far transcend into all parts of you. I understand that some of the civilian jobs have that kind of unity. I applaud you if your job and the people around you are that strong. And that you feel that you can trust them fully with your life, after all as a Military member that is exactly what you do. We all had a part of another person's life in our hands, and if we did not care and do our job well that person could cease to exist.

I do want to move far from here. I loved it while I was in Lexington graduating college. I had been in SE kentucky for 1 1/2 year working hard with the post office and was laid off on a insane rule. I was only a casual, that means you are not really hired. And you can only fill that position for 180 days in a calendar year. After my post office lost the other casual position after 180 days they had to let me go and no amount of fighting they did would change the higher ups position on it. Make sense? A person memorizes over 30,000 names and the rules say after 180 days you need to bring in a new person ...LOL...no wonder the post office has been losing for a very long time.

BTW that is the first of my internet name POSTAL... REVENANT or REVNANT for short is a mythical creature that has been granted a chance by the GODS to come back with the sole intention to pay back the one that wronged them. I know that is strong for what happened, but the name eventually grew on me. I just went with it as a reminder in college that even if you do perfect like the first 100% in Kentucky on a newly remade postal exam, you still could have a hard time. I would not have made 100% if I had not bought a study guide and worked hard for 3 months before my scheduled exam. Gotta tell you all, that exam is no joke. When it comes to memorizing and speed its a super tough exam, very tricky with numbers and names as well.

Anyways to answer a few questions brought up by some of you. I did use a good part of my VA benefits. And I am very grateful that they have taken care of me as much as they can.

I have an associates degree in Applied Sciences Computer Networking. I was also able to work it out so that I am really not that far from the 4 year degree. As long as you take a full schedule you are ok with the VA in regards to taking classes that are not part of the degree you are going after, it doesn't cost them a penny more so I set myself to be close to a 4 year degree.

I am a Micrsoft Certified System Engineer. Microsoft's second highest certification (highest is 10 years minimum and field and was just recently created). I am only the 22nd person in my state to get that certification for the most current Server 2003 systems. And only the second to do it in less than a year.

I also have a great many other certifications.

I told you earlier about being picked over many to get a job. Well that job was upper level support to 100's of companies. When the peps who get $60k - 100K a year could not figure out the problem good ole $9/hr would go there and figure it out for them while they were charged $120/hr from the second the tires hit the pavement and until the vehicle stopped. Well that company left the return trip us to us technicians. We could charge the companies that $120/hr if we wanted to get 20 cents a mile. Otherwise we could not get the $12 for gas for our 2 hours plus clients and save them $240. Nice of that company to leave the choice to us. Anyways that company was very dirty so I left because I could not stomach them, even though that would have led to some serious cash.

So no I do not care so much about coming rich to answer another question. I really would not care about fame either. These posts are the absolute most that I have bragged on myself in a very very long time. But I want you to know what I am and what I am dealing with.

BTW, I cannot count the places where when peps somehow hear I made $9/hr would rub in the 60k+ they made with a laugh. I would be sick at my stomach and ashamed of myself forever to rub in a large amount of money while someone else is there because I cannot figure out how to fix it. Especially the rubbing in part. I don't know how you could be proud of that money when that situation arised. Don't get me wrong. No one is an expert and we can learn from everyone, no matter what experience level they have. But please to rub that in would be embarrassing.

Ok main problem gotta leave here. Want to leave here.

BTW just to help here are my other certifications: A+ Net+ MsExchange 2003 and some experience with cisco and many other small things. No experience with unix.

Please if you have any ideas how to deal with these problems I would love to hear them.

1. I have one year of experience 6 months with that company, 6 months on my own. About all companies ask for a minimum of 3 years experience even with the certification I have to move you to them. ( We are financially drained a bit to get the computers, and certification tests I needed to give me an edge )

2. Some of the companies have told me they find it hard to believe a person could get MCSE certification in less than a year without downloading cheat sheets. Those same companies interviews always consisted of easy questions and no real testing. So many companies do not test you very much even though they are about to hand over Thousands to you.

3. Even if I wanted to drive up to 100 miles or so a day until we could rent half way and if it worked out buy a house half way, I am having trouble with that last company I worked for. I have felt strongly that after atleast 5 of the interviews I had the job. IT was just a matter of calling references and probably my former company. The jobs did not go to me and they no longer showed excitement that they would hire me. No matter how I ask they will not tell me if the talked with my former company or not. Is there a legal way to press this issue? And even so how could you fight them without councelling. They did not council or review, rate anything. So they can say what they want really. My word against theirs.

BTW I have been looking at many internet job sites. It is how I have gotten many interviews. I have also went locally to many places not hiring and just dropped a resume.

But the best thing is to get away. Now with 3 to 4 more years of experience locally here in the right place hospitals etc. I can easily move. My skills with the more years experience behind me and the prior decorated honorable Vet experience will get me hired Govt, or civilian.

So if you know of some ways I can perhaps swing taking a chance I am open to suggestion. Temp agencies would be awesome except the only ones are pretty far away in Knoxville and Lexington so much so that my distance is too much for me to be effective.

I do have one plan in mind no matter what. And financially by March I can do this. That is to move part of the way to Knoxville and keep looking. I can do this without getting a job before March. Just have to wait till March to be able to do it.

Most of all I hope you all realize that this part of my post is much more upbeat. I do realize that my potential is very high and my training is great. I do have a great drive. Yes some things are holding me back a bit, but I realize that I cannot let them continue to nag at me. Just gotta drive on and keep plugging away. There is a company there waiting, an honest one with my name on it.

I mainly just need to find positive things for my family to do. More peps near me that are good honest peps. And keep plugging away to move. It might take a bit longer perhaps even a year, but I cannot give in any longer and get aggrivated over things. Yes many of the things over the past 5 months ( there has not been too many of them except the Bank 10% charge on returned change really ) I had a perfect right to rant on. But it's not really me, that is what told me something was wrong. And when little things continue to aggrivate me that never did before I knew I needed to let it out some.

Thank you all. I still need to respond to some PM's and direct posts here. But time to get a good nights rest. Today was a day of reflection and I do feel much better. I have been doing it all right so far and the best that I could possibly be doing given my location and situation. SO there is really nothing else to do but continue trying and find things to keep positive energy flowing.

I have a story to share with you about this morning. And this tells me that I feel much more positive:

My mother's 2500 dollars worth of new siding for the house was delivered this morning. They told us on Friday that Monday was pretty full and that it can only be delivered in the afternoon / evening. So I get up at 9 A.M. and find boxes of siding out in the open on the ground in this high theft place *BTW kinda worried about that one as we speak. Too many peps already saw it so I guess I will be putting on siding much earlier than expected. That will keep me positive doing some work that will help me to think while I do it.

Anyways it is not all there. I know that no one stole part of it. They had one box that was opened. IT had the corner pieces in it for the house. I would imagine that they opened that box to put in the remaining 24 pieces that we need, it is a big long box. But they did not so we didn't get it.

I am sure it will be cleared up tomorrow. I did not get angry that no one even knocked on the door, before they left all of this on display to all the thiefs. I did not get angry that it's not all there.

HECK I didn't even laugh them off the phone when they told me and I quote this as the reason that the stuff was dropped off (they couldn't explain the part about why no one knocked. Any knocking on the door would have awoken either me or my uncle.

Here is what they said exactly: "We have gotten burned too many times by people who say they are going to be there and they do not show up. " That was thier answer to why it was left and not signed for.

Now I can say LOL .... I had only one answer for them. "What do you do when a person calls you and asks you why you forgot to deliver? Are you burned when you drop off 2K plus in materials and some one walks away with it because no one knocked or found anyone to sign for it? Finally.... How can you even be positive you are taking it to the right housed with Rural route addresses? BTW they only got this one right because a guy who works there lives near here and knew my family growing up. He gave them an idea where the house was.

I was my old self not raising my voice or laughing at them on bit. You see if you really want a person to think, don't yell or give them a reason to turn it into a heated debate. Simply and clearly state without blame the logic to the situation in a normal and clear voice. If they are any kind of person with any kind of sense they will be able to do nothing but sink in the chair like a puddle because there is nothing to argue about.

Thanks a ton again. Starting in the right direction now I believe. Just to be sure it is not just short term high from many positive responses will keep you all updated.

Thank you,

Doug
 

hi postal or doug glad you wiyh us take beep breath w in canada really like your milary we feel safe this time of year brings out some feeling usaully not present any other time if you have mic download ventrilo.com 3.2 client your name sever nationviovce.com ip toronto.nationvioce.com port 3863 would like to speak to you not all demon;s are bad
 

I have no idea what that computer jargon means but I'm gonna assume that it means you are a programmer of some type. Belive it or not Monster works great as well as CareerBuilder. Google for Princeton Search Group and MRI Network, one is the parent company of the other but I don't remember which. They are Employee recruiters, I think the largest in the country, and can get you in touch with some of their people at no cost to you, the employer pays all the cost for their services. They will help you by not only getting interviews wherever you want in any field but also help you to negotiate your compensation package and since they get paid a lump sum of about 20% of your annual salary for their services they make sure to look out for you, and know how to work it. I've worked with them before and was impressed.

As far as the material drop at your house, that crap happens all the time when they have shorted your order and don't want to deal with it right then. It doesn't help that you're a one time buyer either. If they've over sold what they have in stock, they'll short you before a Contractor and make you wait for the next shipment. The Contractor buys more and can run through materials faster than a homeowner, so the supplier tries to somewhat control chaos in this manner. Sometimes things just happen and mistakes are made, they'll make it right as long as it's brought to the manager's attention, every State has some form of laws on it.

As far as not knowing if your former employer is giving you a bad reference or not, here's what generally works to remedy that. Have someone you know that knows your business and all that computer jargon call asking for a reference, because they're interviewing you. If it's good then you're OK, if it's not then that person can tell you what they said and you can then confront them on it. If I'm not mistaken there's labor laws that restrict what they can say about you, such as if you are fired then only say for what. If you quit and they bad mouth you, then a Labor Attorney can file suit on them for Libel and Slander. There's specifics that I'm not sure of, and they vary by State but you can find out information. If you do find out bad things and decide to go after them then most Labor Attorneys work Pro Bono, or send a letter to them for a small fee.
 

Postal,
You seem like a really good person from your responses to some of my posts. Some of your friends here have hit on probably the best course for you. I think also that you should give the VA another try. Maybe this time see a voc-rehab counselor at the Regional Office, rather than going to the Medical Center. A counselor should be able to assist you with your vocational plans. You might even be able to get a job at the VA as a computer specialist. It's worth a try. If you are able to get a job with the VA, you may be able to transfer to an office in another part of the country. Best wishes and good luck.
Bob
 

try dice.com, if you want to move to louisville let me know, i have a contact there, i also have numbers for most major recruiters (nationwide) and if i dont' have a name or number i can certainly get one in the area you decide to go to...
 

Doug, keep your chin up.

Have you thought any about Clarksville, TN? Good cost of living, and Dynacorp (sp) has lots of jobs at Ft. Campbell for avaition techs........I know you mentioned injury limitations, but you never know........are you getting any VA disability? If not, you need to check into it.......it's tax free, and heck, you earned it.........

PM me if you need anything.........I don't have any contacts...if I did, I'D have a better job :D :D.

Good luck, and keep praying......it works ;) ;).

Roger
 

Hey Post, I'm like you, feel like I am stuck in E. Ky. but this is not about me it's about you. I have taken the advice I give my kids, don't put anyone else in charge of your happiness & only take people that are going your direction through life with you. Don't let others steal your joy. Chuck
 

Hi Doug,

I do not have the knowledge, or the right to talk about the USA as I live in South Africa. But here we are going through very trying times with the very high crime rate, and very high unemployment. It is strange when the very people who were your enemy during the war years, are now living next door to you, but that is where we are sitting. These days there is a lot of hoplessness here, but one thing that has bought us all together is knowing that we have a loving God.
You have been asking for prayer, so I take it that you belive in God? And it is here that I believe you will find your answers. I can and will pray for you daily, but get some help from the local church, they are terrific for listening, and for helping.
God can and will make a difference in your life if you just let Him, at least give Him a chance.

Moving from your area can and often does help somewhat, but remember that you will also take some of the problems with you....

You seem to me to be a great person with a great wife, let her help you with some emotional support also..... You have been through some very hard times, and have made it..... This is just another one, and you will make it through this one also.

As I said earlier, I will definately send some prayer out for you. And I am also here for you if you want to talk, just PM me with pleasure.

Look forward to hearing the very positive changes in your life.

God bless
Peter
 

fldiver said:
<snip>

As far as not knowing if your former employer is giving you a bad reference or not, here's what generally works to remedy that. Have someone you know that knows your business and all that computer jargon call asking for a reference, because they're interviewing you. If it's good then you're OK, if it's not then that person can tell you what they said and you can then confront them on it. If I'm not mistaken there's labor laws that restrict what they can say about you, such as if you are fired then only say for what. If you quit and they bad mouth you, then a Labor Attorney can file suit on them for Libel and Slander. There's specifics that I'm not sure of, and they vary by State but you can find out information. If you do find out bad things and decide to go after them then most Labor Attorneys work Pro Bono, or send a letter to them for a small fee.
Click to expand...

ABSOLUTELY do this! Actually, you probably wouldn't even have to have someone that knows the computer jargon because if they had someone there that knew the job you'd be applying for, then they wouldn't be hiring! For that matter, whoever you had do this - you could tell 'em what to say computer-wise, that is.

You are sounding more upbeat, and I'm so glad. Prayers have been flyin' high and fast here

yours,
Nan
 

Doug:

Your message made me register on this forum and to reply to your request to say a prayer for you which I did do tonite while reading your story. I am from Canada and am an avid treasure hunter who has had extremely good luck in life situations. However, when I said a prayer for you I felt that it was received by you. It would take a long time to explain to you however, just believe that God is everywhere and we all have a journey to go through.
Even in Kentucky.

GT
 

Doug...hang in there, I;ve had a tough year as well, however we are both blessed with loving families and beautiful children....the New Year is coming and maybe it will mean better things, you'll be in my thoughts and know we are all pulling for you.
My two cents...maybe you need a change of scenery..I HIGHLY recommend Maine, am not sure of the job market for computer techs here, but it is a great place to raise a family and 99% of the people here are wonderful caring people, if you;re interested I'd gladly recommend some areas and get some info on houses for sale and rent in those areas. Also there are some FANTASTIC sites to detect and some great people in this area to do groups hunts with etc.
Keep your chin up....it may not cure everything doing that, but at least you stand a better chance seeing the next kick coming...:)
If you start to question why we bother pushing and struggling and fighting so hard to get ahead or to just break even when everything seems against us...do what I do...look at your beautiful daughter(not sure if you have other children) and there you will find your answer. Semper Fi.
 

I will keep this simple and brief.

1) you and your wife will be in our thoughts and prayers

2) wait until after the first of the year to aggressively look for a job. you do not need any more stress or disappointment now. focus on the good stuff.

3) I thought I was in a similar situation about 12 years ago, but I would love to get back to where I was..... the simple life.

4) computers are where you need to be, but we need a larger market than SE Kentucky.

5) take anything. computers or not, so you can keep a work history going. it shows you are willing to take on what ever life brings you and you are hard working, humble and understand priorities.

6) for this month, be sure to find a way to get "application credit" for you community service work, it's another month that you can fill in the blank on your next application.

7) no matter where you are or where you go, there will be people that suck. Think about New Jersey. If it really sucked as bad as everyone else thinks, who would be there? (i used NJ as an example, so don't fire back)

8) the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but is it because there is so much crap on it?

GOOD LUCK AND DON'T LOOK BACK. YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST, BUT YOU HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER THE FUTURE.
 

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