Some good clean humor! I promise! Red

Chug And Red

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Feb 18, 2010
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Vancouver WA
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While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled
an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went
to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just
as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy
slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair.
Placing his hand on the man's, he said, I know how you feel. My
mom makes me ride in the stroller too.'

*****

As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy,
came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she
was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was
doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom has some of
those, but I don't think she knows how to use them.'

*****

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I
got a little wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want
to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming
with me like you do now. Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be
too old to do all those things anyway.'

******

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving
immunization shots to children. One day, I entered the examining room
to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. 'No, no, no!' she screamed.
'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's not polite behavior.' With
that, the girl yelled even louder, 'No, thank you! No, thank you!

******

On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said
to my son, 'Dad, I know babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do
they get there in the first place?' After my son hemmed and hawed
awhile, my grandson finally
spoke up in disgust, 'You don't have to make up something, Dad. It's
okay if you don't know the answer.'

*****
Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old son down
and broke the news to him. 'I'm going to be away for a long time,' I
told him. 'I'm going to Iraq .' 'Why?' he asked. 'Don't you know
there's a war going on over there?'
*****

Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for
children stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood diseases. One afternoon,
he and his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the
kids. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients
wouldn't know Newman was a famous movie star,
explained, That's the man who made this camp possible. Maybe you've
seen his picture on his salad dressing bottle?' Blank stares. 'Well,
you've probably seen his face on his lemonade carton.' An
eight-year-old girl perked up. 'How long was he missing?'

*****
and my personal favorite ...God's Problem Now:

His wife's graveside service was just barely finished, when there was a
massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning,
accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little,
old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."

















 

Funny stuff amigos, funny stuff. I was gonna write the website for you, but it was long. Go to youtube and let Red type in Canadian Breast Exam. 30 second actual Canadian Cancer Society public service ad. Keep her from using a machine like that woman in your other post did...
 

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