Police Investigate Man For ‘Revenge Fart’ After Woman Rejected Sexual Advances

[Oregon Viking]

This belongs here........

Fart Machine / Fart Sound Board

 

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[aa battery]

this post has gone done under

 

[Peyton Manning]

One of the most embarrassing moments of my life was back in 1999. I was selling Inifiniti at the time. It was mid July (100+), and an elderly couple wanted to drive an I35. We started driving, and I started getting gas cramps like you wouldn't believe. I thought maybe I could do what we call a "One Cheek Sneak". This involves lifting one butt cheek and letting loose with an SBD (Silent But Deadly). So, I lifted a cheek, and let it go. It couldn't have been louder or smellier if I would have had been at a "beans, pickled eggs, and Jaegermeister Festival" the day before, and TRIED to be loud!

They both rolled down their windows, turned and looked back at me. I felt about an inch tall. I figured I lost the sale, but asked anyway, "Would you like to go inside and look at some numbers on this car?" The reply was hilarious:

"Sure, but not on THAT one! Do you have another one just like it?" HAHAHA

Mike

STOP IT dude, you're killing me!

 

[stefen]

One of the most embarrassing moments of my life was back in 1999. I was selling Inifiniti at the time. It was mid July (100+), and an elderly couple wanted to drive an I35. We started driving, and I started getting gas cramps like you wouldn't believe. I thought maybe I could do what we call a "One Cheek Sneak". This involves lifting one butt cheek and letting loose with an SBD (Silent But Deadly). So, I lifted a cheek, and let it go. It couldn't have been louder or smellier if I would have had been at a "beans, pickled eggs, and Jaegermeister Festival" the day before, and TRIED to be loud!

They both rolled down their windows, turned and looked back at me. I felt about an inch tall. I figured I lost the sale, but asked anyway, "Would you like to go inside and look at some numbers on this car?" The reply was hilarious:

"Sure, but not on THAT one! Do you have another one just like it?" HAHAHA

Mike

For a moment I thought you'd end by saying APRIL FOOLS....

Anybody know if a Gin & Tonic splatter will affect an I-Mac screen?

 

[stefen]

Way back when I was 11 or 12, our Scout Master arranged for a Doc to give our Troop its annual physicals...

When it was my time for me to turn my head and cough, having a finger stuck up the ole scrote (1st time in my life), the shock and raising up on my tippy-toes caused a violent combustible reaction...

Needless to say, the Doc as well as everyone else jumped ship...

Priceless....

 

[stefen]

This belongs here........

Fart Machine / Fart Sound Board

Pardon the pun but the Fart Sound Board is a gas...

 

[ARC]

I was in a Best Buy store years ago... but could never forget ... while looking at some music or DVD's or whatever...
there was some big chick on the other isle... no one else around...
when she left I went to that side to further my search.

Wrong move.
My god... my eyes were burning... I was gagging and coughing... tears started. sheesh

I quickly left and walked far away as to not get caught at the scene of the crime so anyone else who happened to go there would not see me and think I did it.

Arrg,
And the ole... "If you smell something you actually are also tasting it" came to mind. heh

 

[ARC]

BTW... some "different posts" on here are considered "a breath of fresh air" at times...

Well this is different all right... but the "air" quality is in question.

 

[stefen]

I was in a Best Buy store years ago... but could never forget ... while looking at some music or DVD's or whatever...
there was some big chick on the other isle... no one else around...
when she left I went to that side to further my search.

Wrong move.
My god... my eyes were burning... I was gagging and coughing... tears started. sheesh

I quickly left and walked far away as to not get caught at the scene of the crime so anyone else who happened to go there would not see me and think I did it.

Arrg,
And the ole... "If you smell something you actually are also tasting it" came to mind. heh

That my friend is a prime example of "CROP DUSTING"...you experienced first hand...

 

[NWMP]

Way back when I was 11 or 12, our Scout Master arranged for a Doc to give our Troop its annual physicals...
When it was my time for me to turn my head and cough, having a finger stuck up the ole scrote (1st time in my life), the shock and raising up on my tippy-toes caused a violent combustible reaction...
.

I came back from 6 week army cadet camp as a 14 or 15 year old. While there we had a month and a half to perfect our belching and flatulance, through constant practice. Longevity, timing, volume and pitch became an art. So flash forward to a day or two after getting out of camp and standing in the line of a major grocery store till line with my mother. With subconscious self trained timing for peak performance I let rip a horrendous bellow that left my mother in shock and myself red to purple faced as people turned to look. It was so second nature by then that I forgot were I was.

 

[Rebel - KGC]

LOL! ROFL!

 

[Nitric]

I have a really big friend that cleared a bus on a High school field trip. One of the woman teachers made the bus driver pull over and we all got off the bus to let it air out.Nasty, dense, and lingering!!!! He was pulled into the Principals office the next day, but nothing was done about it. Still, laughed and talked about 20 some years later by us though!

 

[stefen]

​

aerosolized stool
after dinner mint
aftershocks
air
air attack
air biscuit
air monkey
air pigeon
air poop
almond toast
anal acoustics
anal escape of wind
anal exhale
anal emissions
anal oxide
anal retreat
anus evacuation
Arkansas barking spiders
ars musica
arse blast
ass dropping
ass flapper
atmosphere of Uranus
backblast
backdoor trumpet
back draft
back end blow out
bae
barking rats
barking spiders
barley boast
bean bombers
bean fumes -->
beaver leaver
beer fart
belching clown
big spit-up
bilabial fricative
bingo
blampf
blanket bomb
blare-ass
blinking browneye
blow-by
blow fish
blue angel
blue bomber
blue darts
blurp
bologna sandwich essence
boomper letters
booty bomb
bork
bottom burp
botty burp
botty cough
bram
bratwurst bugle
bratwurst butt belch
brewer's fart
brown air biscuit
brown-body radiation
brown haze
brown mist
brown speckled mallard
brownster
brun canard
bubblers
bubbling acid
buck snort or bucksnort
bull snort
bum and flutter
bung blast
bunghole buzzer
bunsen burners
burners
burp that went astray
burp that comes out the wrong end
butt bark
butt bomb
butt bongos
butt breather
butt burps
butt cheek bubbles
butt cheek squeak
butthole blowout
butt moose
butt mutt
butt trumpets
butt wind
cabbage captivator
can o' chedder
carpet creeper
case of swamp ass
Chanel No. 2
cheeser
cheese toasty
chemical warfare
chert
chili killy
chold
chou pi
chunder
churchhouse creepers
Cincinatti cyanide
colon calamities
colon cologne
cooked cauliflower cocktail
cornhole tremor
crack rattler
crepidus
crunchy frog
cushion creepers
cyanide substitute
davebrok
death poot
deer grunt
deer snort
dej
desert varnish
dirt road dust
doofu
doozer
doozy
double flutterblast
drifters
drig
drive by
duck call
Dutch oven
eggy whiffo
EPA red alert
essence of Emeril
essence of the anus
evacuation siren
excreted gas
explosion between the cheeks
extreme fumagatory essence
fang pae
fang pi
fannitosis
fanny beep
fanny bubble
fanny halitosis
fart
fart combo
fartrogen dioxide
Fartvergnugen
fat lady delight
fecal clouds
fickle fuzz
fing
fingi
fire in the hole
fizz
fizz-fuzz
fizzy fuzz
flabbergaster
flame throwers
flaming cornhole
flatulence
flatulencia
flatus
flooper
fluff
flurpies
flutterblast
fly breaking the sound barrier
foo-foo
foyon
frump
Furz
fuss
the fuzz
the fuzz=fizz
gas
gasser
gastronomical reprocussion
General Colon Bowel barking commands
gooz
gross wind
grosse humours
guano-talk
gou pi
grounds for divorce
grunghee
gurglers
ham slam
hanger
he
Hershey Park
Hershey splert
Hershey smoke
hissers
hole in the wall gang
honksa
hot wind
Hun Futza
hurricane
hydrogen bombs
ignimbrite
Japanese barking beetles
Jersey torch
jetwash
jockey jelly
kabooms
kanala
lactose liberation
laughing ass
the leather cheerio bark
lingers
lort
love puff
low flying geese
low flying jets
machine gun sound effects
massive vapor of butt gas
message from the interior
methane
misdirected burp
Missouri mud ducks
moon beam
morning thunder
mouse
mousie squeak
mudslapper
mush
musical butt
the nether belch
nicotine stains in the Hanes
nitrogen nerve gas
nuée ardent
nwonk
one-cheek sneaks
paad
pants geese
pants puffer
passed flatus
passed gas
peaches
pedo
peido
peo
pet
petard
phewie
pip
pluts
poelse
poodles
poof
poofume
poo gas
pooh
pooh noise
poop fumes
poop without the mess
poopy tunes
poot
pooty pants
popcorn fart
pop tarts
power poof
preets
prison break
proot-proots
prootsie
prut
pudd
puffer
puh
puk
pulpmiller
pum
purple clouds
putt-putts
queef
queve
rambunctious rectum
rames
rare arse
rattler
rectal turbulence
rectum roar
report
ringo
ringtailed roarer
rip ass
ripship
the rips---
ripskin
ripsnorter
road pizza perfume
roevgas
rump ripper
rup rap
the scented scream
scheet
seam squirrels
s--- fumes
s--- propellant
s--- vapor
s--- without the mess
silent but deadly
silent but violent
silent depth charge
silent killer
silent spadily
sitter air
skag
skid
skidmarks in the shorts
sliders
smelly jelly
smell-o-rama
smelts
smoke rings from behind
smoofer
snak
S.O.D.
some ******* behind you talking s---
sound spadily
soytoy
space shuttle launch
sphincter whistle
sphincturbulence
spitters
squeakers
squib
squiffer
stainer
stale wind
stench of death
stink
stinker
surprise
svaerd
taco torpedo
talking pants
tear arse
tear ass
telegram
terminal flatulence
terminal velocity flatulence
three tone fart
thunder below
thunder dumpling
thunder in the buns
tonage
toop
tooters
toot-toots
trail fart
triple flutter blaster
triple thunder flutter
trouser cough
trouser trumpet
trump
turtle
tushie belches
tush tickler
underpants lion
veirnt
ventifact
Victoria's Secret's worst nightmare
vind
voice of the toothless one
warp drive
wet fart
wet one
whallop
White Castle's revenge
whootzie
wind
wind beneath the cheeks
wind breakage
windy pops
wizard
yelping spider
zephyr