Economic Stimulus

DeepseekerADS

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Mar 3, 2013
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Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a ; high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will ; go to China or Sri Lanka.

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or ; China...

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala...

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer – or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
 

Wow, I never knew. Glad I've always lived my life and done what you suggest. There is one (1) slight problem. I have found that the prostitutes met at yard sales love to handle, but rarely acquire. The ones I met at bars or on a nice avenue are much better, When I visited my sister in Los Angeles, I would pick up the best looking to be had, make sure they were female and then head to Dodger Stadium for a bleacher seat, a "Dodger Dog" and a beer , all for less than $10. Relaxing too as my "Dodger Dog" was consumed. Beer compliments everything, doesn't it?:notworthy:
 

Budweiser is a Belgian-Brazilian company.

In the 70's they were American made. Didn't like the stuff, it bubbled too easily and couldn't be shotgunned. Schlitz was great for that, stronger and cheaper! 3 seconds down & time to pee again.

And, it made you invulnerable! I've the scars to prove it :(
 

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