Crispin
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- Jun 26, 2012
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Throughout my life I have been blessed to have many mentors, advisors, and friends. I may be a stubborn, firecracker that resists Bill's attempts to mellow me out but I never stop listening to a word people said. Even in the middle of an altercation there is a part of me that is listening and processing everything that is said. Storing it away to be analyzed for future purposes. At times in my life there are people who have said things to me that have stuck in my mind and rattled over and over in brain. Things I will never get rid of, a constant echo of sorts, but in a good way. I would like to share a few of those with you, my friends.
In the 12th grade I was a bit of a rebel. I was taking AP Government and causing all sorts of trouble in class. The teacher called me to the front of the class, had me stand alone in front of the chalkboard, and said: "Mr. Crispin, at the current moment you are making this class miserable for me to teach. However, I will not allow myself to be the only miserable person in the room. So, you have a choice to make in front of you. Are we all going to be miserable or are we getting to get along?" Her name was Ms. Ross. The speech got the job accomplished.
When I was an undergrad at UVA I volunteered for the crisis hotline to help people who were suicidal. It was a 24 hour service. It was run primarily by a specific demographic that I did not fit. Half way through the training they pulled me aside, confiscated my manual, and stated, "We don't think you are the right person to help people who are suffering." I said, "Actually, I don't think you are. I then handed in my manual and walked away."
When my grandmother was on her death bed from metastatic cancer, she was delirious on pain meds/ in and out of reality. I caught her at a lucid moment and read her a letter of goodbye. When I was done I said to her. "Is there anything I can do for you?" she said, "yes, massage my ass." Dumbfounded, I looked at her with mouth agape. She then said, "If you are not going to do that, then take the vodka from the bar and get drunk with your friends in memory of me."
Two years later, my grandfather was dying. I sat at his bedside to keep him comfort. He looked up at me and said, "Carry on the family name, Hitler didn't kill me and he didn't kill you, you will grow up to be a good man."
In my first year of medical school I was struggling with the basic sciences. I had a masters in psychology which did me little good in biochemistry and cell biology. I kept trying to apply what those academic principles in med school with no results. After talking about this with a good friend he said, "If you don't kill the education you previously had then this education will kill you."
In the depths of despair, on the verge of failure, I called my father and asked, "What would you say if I left med school, packed my car, and left." My dad responded. "I would say, welcome home."
When I finally got back on the up and up in med school that same friend drew my an elaborate picture and had it framed. It stands on my wall today with the words: "Fall down seven times, stand up eight."
In residency I was struggling with an attending who was clearly incompetent. I explained this in detail to my mentor and he responded: "How is that working for you?" The answer was obviously.....not very well.
Two years later, I was discussing a different problem with a program director I was having. He stated, "You have the moral high ground. Hold it, and you will never be wrong."
Words, words, words. Many more echo in my mind. These are some of the ones that help define me as a human being.
"Control your emotions or somebody else will." Rattling, echoing, repeating in my head they are. So simple, yet so profound. I will never forget who spoke them to me or how it has changed me.
I am lucky enough to look back and analyze how I have arrived at this place. "Control your emotions or somebody else will."
God Bless
Crispin
Ps. HCB, you know where I am...come and get me.
In the 12th grade I was a bit of a rebel. I was taking AP Government and causing all sorts of trouble in class. The teacher called me to the front of the class, had me stand alone in front of the chalkboard, and said: "Mr. Crispin, at the current moment you are making this class miserable for me to teach. However, I will not allow myself to be the only miserable person in the room. So, you have a choice to make in front of you. Are we all going to be miserable or are we getting to get along?" Her name was Ms. Ross. The speech got the job accomplished.
When I was an undergrad at UVA I volunteered for the crisis hotline to help people who were suicidal. It was a 24 hour service. It was run primarily by a specific demographic that I did not fit. Half way through the training they pulled me aside, confiscated my manual, and stated, "We don't think you are the right person to help people who are suffering." I said, "Actually, I don't think you are. I then handed in my manual and walked away."
When my grandmother was on her death bed from metastatic cancer, she was delirious on pain meds/ in and out of reality. I caught her at a lucid moment and read her a letter of goodbye. When I was done I said to her. "Is there anything I can do for you?" she said, "yes, massage my ass." Dumbfounded, I looked at her with mouth agape. She then said, "If you are not going to do that, then take the vodka from the bar and get drunk with your friends in memory of me."
Two years later, my grandfather was dying. I sat at his bedside to keep him comfort. He looked up at me and said, "Carry on the family name, Hitler didn't kill me and he didn't kill you, you will grow up to be a good man."
In my first year of medical school I was struggling with the basic sciences. I had a masters in psychology which did me little good in biochemistry and cell biology. I kept trying to apply what those academic principles in med school with no results. After talking about this with a good friend he said, "If you don't kill the education you previously had then this education will kill you."
In the depths of despair, on the verge of failure, I called my father and asked, "What would you say if I left med school, packed my car, and left." My dad responded. "I would say, welcome home."
When I finally got back on the up and up in med school that same friend drew my an elaborate picture and had it framed. It stands on my wall today with the words: "Fall down seven times, stand up eight."
In residency I was struggling with an attending who was clearly incompetent. I explained this in detail to my mentor and he responded: "How is that working for you?" The answer was obviously.....not very well.
Two years later, I was discussing a different problem with a program director I was having. He stated, "You have the moral high ground. Hold it, and you will never be wrong."
Words, words, words. Many more echo in my mind. These are some of the ones that help define me as a human being.
"Control your emotions or somebody else will." Rattling, echoing, repeating in my head they are. So simple, yet so profound. I will never forget who spoke them to me or how it has changed me.
I am lucky enough to look back and analyze how I have arrived at this place. "Control your emotions or somebody else will."
God Bless
Crispin
Ps. HCB, you know where I am...come and get me.
