Starship Deus

C, it looks as if you've been Beamed Up. Best of Luck to you and the Deus.
 

She canna take much more, Cap'n! 😨
 

Cap'n, she canna not take many more wee bairns using her! She's a gonna snap from the stress of bein' so popular!
 

Well Scotty?
Cap’n, we beamed aboard the crew of the Equinox!
And Scotty?
Cap’n, what we got back in the transporter doesn’t resemble anything remotely human...
And Scotty?
Dammit man get to the point!
I’ll handle this Bones!
Scotty! What’s on the transporter floor?
Cap’n, They handed me a card and said they were lawyers! Good Lord! Raaaalph!!
 

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I'm a doctor not a detectorist!

In real life my cousin had a recurring role in the original "Star Trek", so this is especially funny for me.
 

Not all that cool. We have to be related to somebody, after all. I like my other 1st cousin, like 10 generations removed. His mug is on the $1 bill. Ya'll see, ma 10x great granddaddy, sold the farm to his 10x great grandaddy, but before that they were already intermarried.

Once upon a time ago, when my youngun's were in their late teens, having done the family genealogy, I sat them them to give them the news: It came off something like this: 'As you well know, our family headed south on the east ridge of the Appalachians well before the Revolution. Well, the family split up some, and then about 75 years later...well, I hate to tell you this, but your family tree doesn't fork.'

They still don't care. But I had a whale of a laugh out of it.
 

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