Shopping at Target

[Minstrel]

Yesterday I was at my local Target buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Target won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

Hope you enjoyed
Minstrel

 

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[RON (PA)]

LOL. Thanks for sharing and welcome aboard. Glad to have you here.

 

[lafatlife]

oh that was tooooo funny!!!!!! Thanks for the laugh!!

 

[Johnnysan]

Thanks Minstrel.
And I thought I was the only funny person living in Albuquerque. Of course, no one here gets my sense of humor.

 

[trikikiwi]

Awesome Minstrel
I should retire now and just look forward to your posts 8)

Cheers, Mike

 

[Detectingfreak]

LOL that made me laugh really hard! Nice story! I will make sure not to do that when someone asks me something when im retired.

 

[Monty]

Loved your story! We share a similar sense of humor. It's true, I am retired also and sometimes tell people some of the most outlandish stories just to see their reaction. I have always been a story teller anyway. I use to start some outlandish rumor at work and waited to see how long it took to get back to me and how it had changed. It was incredible! M nty

 

[truckinbutch]

Loved your story! We share a similar sense of humor. It's true, I am retired also and sometimes tell people some of the most outlandish stories just to see their reaction. I have always been a story teller anyway. I use to start some outlandish rumor at work and waited to see how long it took to get back to me and how it had changed. It was incredible! M nty

 

[Lowbatts]

One of my buddies sent me that one but since all I get is cat food it just don't work the same!