FCCDFEd
Hero Member
- Sep 29, 2007
- 857
- 566
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- DFX, IDXPro, MXT, Lobo St., At Pro
- Primary Interest:
- All Treasure Hunting
Recorded "for real calls". This is funny especially the last one.
HELLO OPERATORActual call center conversations!
Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1200 for two days and can't get through; can you help?'Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.''+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Samsung ElectronicsCaller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?''Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'----------------------------------------------------------------------
RAC Motoring ServicesCaller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ?'Operator: 'Does the product name give you a clue?'----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have tochange the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'----------------------------------------------------------------------
Directory EnquiriesCaller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland .'----------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'Customer: 'OK.'Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'Customer: 'No.'Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'Customer: 'No.'Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it.So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'----------------------------------------------------------------------
This next one has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this person should have been promoted, not fired.A true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
'Operator: 'Went away?
'Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?
'Caller: 'Nothing.
'Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.
'Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?
'Caller: 'How do I tell?
'Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?
'Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?
'Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?
'Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.
'Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?
'Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?
'Caller: 'I don't know.
'Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??
'Caller: 'Yes, I think so.
'Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?
'Caller: 'No.
'Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.
'Caller: 'Okay, here it is.
'Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.
'Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?
'Caller: 'No.
'Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.
'Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
'Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.
'Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.
'Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
'Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
'Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.
'Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'
HELLO OPERATORActual call center conversations!
Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1200 for two days and can't get through; can you help?'Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.''+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Samsung ElectronicsCaller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?''Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'----------------------------------------------------------------------
RAC Motoring ServicesCaller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ?'Operator: 'Does the product name give you a clue?'----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have tochange the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'----------------------------------------------------------------------
Directory EnquiriesCaller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland .'----------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'Customer: 'OK.'Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'Customer: 'No.'Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'Customer: 'No.'Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it.So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'----------------------------------------------------------------------
This next one has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this person should have been promoted, not fired.A true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
'Operator: 'Went away?
'Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?
'Caller: 'Nothing.
'Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.
'Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?
'Caller: 'How do I tell?
'Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?
'Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?
'Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?
'Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.
'Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?
'Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?
'Caller: 'I don't know.
'Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??
'Caller: 'Yes, I think so.
'Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?
'Caller: 'No.
'Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.
'Caller: 'Okay, here it is.
'Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.
'Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?
'Caller: 'No.
'Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.
'Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
'Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.
'Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.
'Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
'Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
'Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.
'Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'
