Is Jaime Wexler Lost?

[wildrider]

Well, if you answered any of the above, you give Jaime too much credit.

The real answer is: He is solely responsible for the price of postage stamps going up. It was his idea to have the "Anytime Stamps." So for his efforts, they have him locked in the back of one of the Lexington Post Offices printing not only those stamps, but 2 cent stamps to meet the difference.

Under these cruel conditions, he used a small gerbil that escaped from a package to smuggle out information as to his location. After feeding the little rodent a whole loaf of bread, it felt compelled to give me his hidden information.

There was a special note for Tom. It says:

Tom, next time we hunt together, if you say, "Hey, guess what I found," be prepared for the following questions:

1. Is it perishable?
2. Is it fragile?
3. Is it liquid?
4. Would you like some stamps with that?

He also said he could get you a good deal on an old Postal Jeep, of course the steering wheel will be on the wrong side, but that fits his sense of humor.

Really, he is alive and well and working hard (go figure)

He also doesn't have computer access here in Lexington, so he'll holler back when he gets near one.

Happy Hunting.

Burt

 

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[kindafoundabuckle]

Im happy to hear all is well with 1320. We were all getting worried about him in Louisville. I thought he might have went for a ride in a pontoon boat or for a drive in a car that has no caster camber or toe. The thought also went through my mind he was dancing on a pole to make extra cash for batteries. A friend of mine heard him and DC got caught with a truck load of KGC gold and they put them and the gold back in the cave. Jamie died first and DC resorted to cannibalism to survive.

Next time let us know you are dropping off the face of the earth! Glad your not in DC stomach.

Have a blessed day.

Kindafounda1320

 

[BuckleBoy]

Now that's FUNNY! I don't care who ya are.

BB

 

[AnOldPro]

Okay Tom....

THAT was a low blow! Hast thou not heard that "Hell knoweth no fury like An Old Pro scorned!"? Cannibalism, indeed! You were just engaging in wishful thinking cause with me locked up in some KGC cave you wouldn't have to follow through on replacing that wheel bearing in my pick-up that you said you would do.

I happen to know that "Hot Wex", as I call him, is on a secret mission so sensitive... SOooooooo CLASSIFIED..... SOOOOOOOO TOP SECRET... that even he doesn't know what it is!

As soon as he uses his superior intellect to figure out what the heck he is supposed to be doing, where he is supposed to do it and to what and with whom and does it he will return to the fold. But don't ask him where he was or what he was doing.... he could tell you but then he would have to kill ya.

I'll leave you with one hint.... his code name is "Double-ought 1320".

DC

 

[AnOldPro]

Actually ya'll... in reference to that rumour about Jamie and I getting caught with a truckload of KGC gold I think I should fill in the details of what happened.

I told Jamie clearly that we needed a good used ARMORED truck with overload springs and one of his drag-strip engines in it to make the gold recovery project work.

And what did he get us? A 1953 Chevy Pick-up with old mattresses duct taped to the sides, front, rear and top of it and an extra 20 lbs of air in the tires. The engine was the original straight six with a can of Gum-out added to the gas and a bottle of Slick-50 to the oil. I was expecting to find Red Green in the cab!

When we tried to escape from the cave with our "armored truck" I knew we were in trouble when an old lady walking her Chihuahua passed us on the road like we were standing still. Even with that difficulty we might have still gotten away with it if the hood latch had not broken causing the hood to rise up and pin the mattress taped to the front of the truck between it and our windshield. Unable to see I veered off the road at the sound of an approaching semi's airhorn and we ended up crashing through the door of a hay barn right into a stack of square bales about 20 feet high. The bales fell all around us hiding our gold-laden truck and we thought at first we were safe.

Then the farmer who owned the barn showed up and wouldn't you know it??!! He was a KGC "sentinel". He told us that buried right beneath our truck in another secret depository was 20,000 bars of KGC gold. Man... when it comes to treasure hunting.... when you're hot, you're hot!

Of course, he also explained we would not live to tell anybody but to Jamie's credit he started putting the used car salesman's pitch to him and had the guy so distracted that he was ready to buy the 53 Chevy from us.
Jamie closed the deal by trading the fellow our "armored" 53 Chevy truck for his late model John Deere tractor with a heavy duty farm wagon (to haul our gold on) and we loaded up our gold and waved goodby to the old rebel as he stood there admiring his "new' truck and we got back on the road.

We made a big mistake, however, in not buying some hay bales from the old guy to surround the gold and hide it on the wagon.

The KGC guys from the cave noticed the gold as they frantically searched the highway for us. They went on ahead of us and at first we thought they had given up but then we came to a sign that said "Tunnel Ahead" PUT ON Your Sunglasses. So used to obeying road signs we never noticed until too late that the "tunnel" was the open back of a semi with ramps attached. We drove that tractor and wagon right in to it and they had us. The doors slammed and they drove us, and the gold back to the cave. Being the tough, enterprising fellows that we are, however, Jamie and I managed to break a hole in the trailer floor and escape at a truck stop before they got us to the cave.

Once we were safe I began to moan about all the gold we had lost and Jamie.... well.... he started howling about losing the John Deere and how much profit he would have made on it at one of his auctions. I tell you, I have never seen a grown man cry so!

And now you know... "THE REST OF THE STORY"!

DC

 

[1320]

Oh my....I think I just cracked a rib! LMAO!!!!!! You guys sure know how to write. The government has robbed me of my creative writing so I'll not foul up this thread!

I'm still laughing....

Jamie

 

[1320]

Dang Burt, I'm buried in postage due collections every since the first class rate changed to .41!

Monkey doo collection sounds so much better right now!

Hope all is well.

Jamie

 

[wildrider]

Jamie,

Could you please contact Tom. He worries about you so much, I woulda thought you guys were long lost hand holders. :P

Sorry Tom, I couldn't resist.

Burt

 

[1320]

Tom, I miss you too!

Thanks Burt!