A parents poem...

[Rubicon]

My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face. He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright? It's all about the laws today , The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room, don't have to cut my hair No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you say, I don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue & nose. I can read & watch just what I like, get tattoos from head to toe. And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crime. I'll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me, my body's only for my use, not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals, like your Mama did to you. That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence me, or I'll call Children's Services Division, better known as "C.S.D."

Mom's Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door. But the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go. A smile crept upon my face, he 's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store.. I told him, "Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D . who said they didn't care if I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment to take your driver's test. The C.S.D. is unconcerned so I'll decide what's best."

I said "No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch. And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite, and wait till dinner time. We're having liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine."

He asked "Can I please rent a movie, to watch on my VCR?" "Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tires on my car. I also rented out your room, you'll take the couch instead. The C.S.D. requires just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now, I'll choose what we eat. That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski, dirt-bike & roller blades. Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', It's in effect today !

Hey hot shot, are you crying, Why are you on your knees? Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C.S.D..?"

 

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[LadyDigger]

So true....and I like this...printed it out!

 

[stefen]

And when you reach the ripe old age of 18, you can contribute towards the house payments, telephone, water and gas heating bills, food, and property taxes.

Oh! And for now on you are totally responsible for buying your own clothes, car payments, gasoline, and spending money.

Also, you can either wash your own clothes or pay somebody to do them for you.

And while your at it, you need to make your bed and clean your bedroom on a daily basis and vacuum at least weekly.

Darn. I forgot about the bathroom...clean it daily and mop up the piss on the floor.

Since you will be contributing to purchasing groceries, you can either help cook, cleanup or wash dishes daily, your choice, but fill in the calendar each month.

What have we forgot? Oh yes, trash, mow the lawn, raking the leaves, seasonal cleanup of the shrubs and trees...

Let me think. Ahhhhh, need to help clean the septic tank. What, it makes you gag?..Hey boy, you $hit here too and your stuff sticks as well.

Have we forgot anything. Oh, by the way, clean up after the dog...he's your pet not ours...picking up your dog's squeezins ain't fun is it?

You don't like these social changes?

Well lets see now...there's the Army enlistment office down on First Street next to the Bakery...the Navy / marine office is down another block...

And maybe you could get an apartment...gee, you get to pay the same bills...

You know, since you are not going to college you might want to consider getting a job...

Don't like flipping burgers for minimum wages...Hey, since your so smart, you figure it out.

Regardless, the day of your 18th birthday is a gimmee...the next day, however, your off of the free ride