S
stefen
Guest
Twin sisters, Shirley and Sharon, were doing some carpenter work on a
Habitat for Humanity house. Shirley, who was nailing down house
siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either
toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Sharon, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you
throwing those nails away?"
Shirley explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."
Sharon got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't
defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
--------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in
movie? They had gone to see "Closed for the Winter."
---------------------------------------------------------
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to
a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided
to have some fun. He told her, "Go home and blow into the tail pipe
really hard, and all the dents would pop out."
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her
tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her, "The repairman instructed me to blow into
the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out."
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to
roll up the windows first!"
---------------------------------------------------------
A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the
clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold."
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!!"
So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss
saw it on her desk. "What's that," he asked?
"Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,"
she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two popsicles and some coffee."
--------------------------------------------------------
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss
asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
the blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
my mother had passed away"
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day?
Take the day off to relax and rest."
"Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and
I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of
hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out
from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
"What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks.
"No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my
sister. Her mother died, too!"
Habitat for Humanity house. Shirley, who was nailing down house
siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either
toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Sharon, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you
throwing those nails away?"
Shirley explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."
Sharon got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't
defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
--------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in
movie? They had gone to see "Closed for the Winter."
---------------------------------------------------------
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to
a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided
to have some fun. He told her, "Go home and blow into the tail pipe
really hard, and all the dents would pop out."
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her
tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her, "The repairman instructed me to blow into
the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out."
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to
roll up the windows first!"
---------------------------------------------------------
A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the
clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold."
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!!"
So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss
saw it on her desk. "What's that," he asked?
"Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,"
she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two popsicles and some coffee."
--------------------------------------------------------
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss
asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
the blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
my mother had passed away"
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day?
Take the day off to relax and rest."
"Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and
I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of
hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out
from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
"What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks.
"No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my
sister. Her mother died, too!"
